I Thought She Was the One, but It Turned Out to Be a Fake Confession, so I Decided to Break Up With Her
If you head north from the station, youโll reach Hinaโs house; if you head south, youโll reach mine.
After dropping Hina off, I walked through the station building and headed for my apartment.
Between going to Tokyo early this morning, talking to Hina about the past, and running into some unexpected people, I was more exhausted than Iโd realized.
Iโd just gotten home and was planning to send Hina a quick message on LINE and go straight to bed whenโ
โWhat a coincidence, Fujimori-kun.โ
Suddenly, Kotone appeared right in front of me.
For a split second, my shoulders jerked.
It seemed to me that her expression looked brighter than usual.
(โฆโฆNo, maybe it just seems that way because Iโve come to terms with things.)
Kotone is no longer โGirlfriendโโsheโs just Hinaโs childhood friend.
To avoid causing Hina any unnecessary anxiety, I should keep my distance from Kotone.
After all, I was the only one whoโd convinced myself we were close to begin with.
โOh, yeah. What a coincidence, Shimazaki-san. What are you doing around here?โ
โThereโs a place nearbyโโ
I decided to stop calling Kotone by her first name.
I decided to call her by her last name, just like before we started dating.
Thatโs my resolution right now.
โF-Fujimori-kunโฆโ
Shimazaki-san, uncharacteristically, stumbled over her words and was visibly flustered.
Maybe it was because the change in how I addressed her was so sudden, even if she didnโt really think we were dating.
But knowing Shimazaki-san, sheโll probably adjust right away.
After all, she doesnโt like me as a guy to begin with.
โHm?โ
โWhere did you goโฆ?โ
โOh, just to Tokyo for a bit.โ
Shimazakiโs lips trembled slightly.
Is there something strange about me going to Tokyo?
Surely she didnโt find out that I went with Hina, did she?
Even if she did, she wouldnโt be that shaken up.
Shimazaki-san asked in a tiny voice.
โWhy, whyโฆ?โ
โWhy? Is there some reason Iโm not supposed to go to Tokyo?โ
Without meaning to, I snapped back at her in a sharp tone.
Iโd gotten angry at her acting like my girlfriend, even though she didnโt even think of me as her real boyfriend.
I took a deep breath in my mind to calm myself down, then continued.
โโฆI just went to see my grandfather for a bit. Sorry, Iโm a little tired right now.โ
Since Hina had told me not to say anything, I didnโt reveal that the real reason was to go on a date with her.
I wasnโt lyingโit was just a superficial excuse.
I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, so I started walking toward the apartment buildingโs entrance.
โW-wait!โ
Shimazaki-san grabbed my hand firmly from behind.
Even though it was the hand of my first loveโthe first time weโd ever touched.
Far from feeling happy, a sense of unease I couldnโt explain welled up inside me.
โLet go. Youโre smothering me.โ
Words colder than Iโd ever expected slipped out of my mouth.
Shimazaki-san seemed just as surprised; she said nothing and slowly let go of my hand.
I turned around and looked at her.
After taking another deep breath, I asked as gently as I could.
โIf this is going to take a while, do you want to go to a nearby cafรฉ?โ
I regained my composure and thought about Shimazaki-san.
She was the one who helped me back in our freshman yearโI owed her a debt of gratitude.
I couldnโt just let my emotions get the better of me.
That said, I didnโt want to invite her into my apartment.
โโฆNo, itโs fine here. After all, we just ran into each other by chanceโI didnโt come here specifically to see you, Fujimori-kun.โ
โReally?โ
โI was just curiousโwondering what you were doing all alone and lonely, having left your girlfriend behind.โ
โgirlfriend, huhโฆโ
A dry laugh escaped me involuntarily.
โLet me ask you this instead: do you think of me as your boyfriend, Shimazaki-san?โ
โW-wellโฆโ
โWell, I guess not. After all, it was just a fake confession you had to make as part of a penalty game.โ
โโฆHuh?โ
At my words, Shimazaki-san looked completely dumbfounded.
Hina had told me not to break up with Shimazaki-san during summer break, but now that I was actually facing her like this, my confidence in keeping that promise was rapidly wavering.
I was overcome by the urge to break up with her right then and there.
โShimazaki, Iโm sorry for everything. You must have hated it when I dragged you around, forcing you to go on โdates,โ right? It seems I havenโt really been considering your feelings at all until now.โ
โWell, youโre absolutely right. So youโve finally realized how hard it was for me to go along with everything you wanted, Fujimori-kun? Thereโs no other girlfriend as devoted as me, you know? Any other girl wouldโve run away a long time ago.โ
โHaha, youโre right. Thatโs why Iโve decided.โ
I said this, staring intently into Shimazakiโs eyes.
โFrom now on, Iโll never force you to go anywhere with me again.โ
โHuhโฆ?โ
She doesnโt want me.
If thatโs the case, I have no choice but to let her go.
It took me a long time to realize such a simple fact.
ใโโ
Daikiโs back grew smaller and smaller as he walked away.
This time, as he entered the apartment buildingโs entrance, Kotone could only watch him go from a distance.
In the end, nothing came of it.
She didnโt even get the chance to mention the summer festival.
(I didnโt realize being refused a handhold could hurt this muchโฆ)
When she instinctively reached out to stop him as he was leaving, Daiki brushed her hand aside with a cold stare.
Was this how he felt during their date at the botanical garden?
Only now did Kotone finally understand his feelings.
But that wasnโt the only thing on her mind.
(I really do like Fujimori-kun, so why does heโฆ?)
Does he think I donโt like him?
No, Kotone knew the real reason.
It was because heโd figured out that her confession had been made only out of obligation as part of a penalty game.
If only sheโd denied what heโd said just now and simply uttered the words โI like you.โ
(How did things end up like thisโฆ?)
Unable to tear herself away from the entrance to Daikiโs apartment building, Kotone just stood there in a daze.
Sheโd thought that if they wore their yukatas nicely and held hands while watching the fireworks, everything would work out.
Part of her had convinced herself that Daiki was just sulking because he couldnโt hold her hand.
But given how things are now, she felt that even if they went to the summer festival together, it wouldnโt solve anything.
(What did I do wrongโฆ?)
At this point, she couldnโt believe that the only reason was that sheโd brushed away his hand when he reached out to her at the botanical garden.
Kotone tried to retrace her memory of how sheโd behaved up until now.
Sheโd always interacted with him while constantly thinking about how to improve their relationshipโhow to keep him from getting bored with her, yet without rejecting his requests too much.
(I went along with him wherever he asked me to goโฆ)
Was it because things were moving too slowly?
Was it because I lied about my feelings?
Was it because I didnโt reach out to him first?
Was it because I didnโt actively show my affection?
Was it because I teased him way too much, trying to hide my shyness?
Was it because I let him pay for almost all our dates?
โI donโt know, I just donโt know!!โ
Kotone kicked the ground hard, as if venting her pent-up emotions.
If Iโd taken things further, reached out to him myself, shown my affection without being shy, and split the bill on datesโ
If Iโd confessed my true feelings instead of telling a lie, would things have turned out differently?
For Kotone, for whom everythingโincluding loveโwas a first, there was nothing she could do but take her frustration out on the ground.
Maigetsu