Episode 22 – realization


I, Who Was Reincarnated as an Evil Character With Cheat-Level Stats in an Eroge, Will Live Freely in This Life


โ— Nanashima Kana (side)

โ€œPhewโ€ฆโ€

I rushed to the restroom and tried my best to calm myself down.

I’m a little better now, but when I looked in the mirror, my face was really red.ใ€€

I couldn’t bear to show that face to Senpai, so it was definitely the right decision to leave the scene.

Still, Senpai smells so goodโ€ฆ I don’t know why, but it’s a scent I really like, and he’s so muscular and strong.

Thinking back on what happened earlier, my face started to heat up again.

โ€œNo, no!!โ€

I shouted and slapped my cheeks hard.

I absolutely couldn’t let my feelings get messed up again after finally calming down!

If I kept this up, I wouldn’t be able to talk to Senpai properlyโ€ฆ

There were lots of things I wanted to think about, but right now, my top priority was to have fun with Senpai!

I got myself pumped up and went back to Senpai.

โ—‡

โ€•โ€•When I returned to Seito-senpai, I immediately greeted him as usual.

โ€œSeito-senpai! I’m back!โ€

โ€œWelcome back. Here’s some orange juice.โ€

โ€œThank you.โ€

โ€œAlso, it’s been quite a while, but what should we do now?โ€

I thought I could act as usual, but when I looked at Seito-senpai’s face, it seemed like that wasn’t going to workโ€ฆ My heart was pounding, and I wasn’t my usual self.

Even in this situation, I tried to keep talking.

โ€œWell, if it’s okay with you, would you like to eat somewhere before going home?โ€

โ€œI’m fine with that, but are you okay with it, Kana?โ€

โ€œYes, I’m fine with it!โ€

โ€œThen let’s do that.โ€

โ€œThank you so much!!โ€

My heart wasn’t exactly fine, but as far as plans went, there was no problem.

Even in this situation, I didn’t want to part ways here and nowโ€ฆ So I mustered up the courage to invite him to dinner.

โ—‡

After finishing dinner with senpai, I was walking home with him.

โ€œThanks for today, Kana.โ€

โ€œI already heard that.โ€

โ€œI just wanted to say it anyway.โ€

โ€œIt’s okay. Besides, โ€˜thank youโ€™ is my line. Today was a really happy day for me too.โ€

โ€œI see. I’m relieved to hear you feel the same way.โ€

โ€œsenpaiโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWhat’s wrong?โ€

โ€œWill you hang out with me again?โ€

โ€œWhy all of a sudden?โ€

โ€œWellโ€ฆ I was acting weird for most of the second half of todayโ€ฆ I’m worried that you might have been bored because of thatโ€ฆโ€

I think I was really terrible during dinner.

I was thinking too much about things inside my head and couldn’t talk properly.

Like why I get nervous when I’m with senpai, or why I want to be with him more.

Because of that, I might have ignored senpai’s words at times, and now I regret it so much.

โ€œOf course. Besides, didn’t Kana say that on the day we talked at the cafรฉ? That she’d always be by my side from now on. Those words were really meaningful to meโ€ฆ So if you don’t do that, it’s me who’ll be in trouble.โ€

When I heard those words, my mind refused to process them for a moment.

Wait, did I actually say that I’d always be by Senpai’s side?!?

Sure, at the time, I felt really sad after hearing about senpai’s past, and I wanted to be there for him, and I did think I’d stay by his side from now onโ€ฆ but did I actually say that out loud!!??

Thinking that, I froze for a moment.

โ€œKana?โ€

โ€œDDD-Did I say I’d stay by your side foreverโ€ฆ!!??โ€

โ€œYou said it after I told you about my past, don’t you remember?โ€

“Ah, ah, at that time, I really wanted to help Senpai, but did I really say that!!?? I think I was sad at that time, so I just blurted out what I was thinking!! It’s true that I thought that, but I don’t think I meant to say it, I just said what I was thinking in my heart!!! Ah! But being by your sideโ€ฆ No, never mind. Anyway, that’s what I meant!!”

At that time, I just wanted to be by your side as a friend, but the way I said it sounded like a confession!!

Even though I thought that, I didn’t correct myself and say it was as a friendโ€ฆ No, I guess it’s more accurate to say I didn’t want to correct myself.

And I realized the reason why I thought that.

But because I realized that, I felt even more embarrassed to look at senpai’s face.

Anyway, I was so embarrassed that I blurted out those excuses in a hurry.

I’m done forโ€ฆ I’m too emotionally unstable today.

I’ve been showing senpai such an embarrassing side of myselfโ€ฆ Nothing is going rightโ€ฆ I don’t want to show him any more weird sides of myself today.

I had no room left in my heart.

โ€œCalm down, Kana. What I want to say is, let’s continue to get along well from now on. If it’s okay with you, I want to become even closer friends.โ€

โ€œOf course! I’m the one who should be thanking you!!! Well, my house is just around the corner, so I’ll be fine from here!!! Let’s hang out again sometime!!!โ€

I thought that if I stayed with senpai any longer, I would only show him my pathetic side, so I hurriedly left the scene.

I’ll apologize properly next time, so please forgive me, senpaiโ€ฆ But I really can’t do this anymoreโ€ฆ

โ—‡

โ€œI’m homeโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWelcome back, Kana. You’re late.โ€

When I got home and went to the living room, my brother-in-law was there.

โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€

โ€œIt’s rare for you to eat dinner out. Who did you eat with? It wasn’t Miku and the others, was it?โ€

โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€

While I was washing my hands and gargling, I vaguely understood that my stepbrother was talking to me, but I just gave that reply.

I feel bad for my stepbrother, but right now I want to be alone and think things through. My head was so full that I couldn’t think about anything else.

โ€œWhat’s wrong, Kana? You seem a bit off.โ€

โ€œNo, I’m just a bit tiredโ€ฆ I’ll go back to my room nowโ€ฆโ€

โ€œAlright? Well, if you’re okay, that’s fine, but let me know if anything comes up.โ€

โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€

โ€”And so, after taking a bath, I went back to my room.

โ€œHaaโ€ฆโ€

My heart was still pounding, so I sighed like that.

When I think about Senpai, my chest feels tight and my heart races.

Even after we parted ways, my mind was filled with thoughts of Senpai, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

When I look into Senpai’s eyes, I feel embarrassed and can’t help but look away.

I want to know more about Senpai, I want to be with him more.

I even found myself wanting to cuddle with Senpaiโ€ฆ

The feeling of being hugged at that moment is something I can’t forgetโ€ฆ

โ€œI guess that’s how it isโ€ฆโ€

All of this is exactly what I researched when I first met Senpai

No, maybe notโ€ฆ Even without researching it, my heart had already given me a clear answer.

I realized it while eating dinner with Senpaiโ€ฆ It became clear to me today.

I like Senpaiโ€ฆ And once I realized that, I couldn’t talk to Senpai anymore. As proof, I couldn’t even look him in the eye after thatโ€ฆ

Because I understood those feelings, when I heard that Senpai said he would stay by my side, my head exploded.

I don’t even remember what I said at that timeโ€ฆ except for one thing.

And that one thing was that I had stopped thinking of being by Senpai’s side as being his friend.

At that time, I absolutely didn’t want to say those wordsโ€ฆ Because at that time, my feelings for senpai were clearโ€ฆ I didn’t want to think of him as just a friendโ€ฆ

โ€œMaybe it was like that from the beginningโ€ฆโ€

No. Probably not.

At first, I definitely had a good impression of senpai, but I don’t think I could say I liked him.

ใ€€
Even though we haven’t been talking for very long, there are many things I’ve come to understand about him.

senpai’s kindness. senpai’s thoughtfulness. Senpai’s strength.

And above all, being with senpai is incredibly fun and reassuring.

It was also really heartwarming that he prioritized my feelingsโ€ฆ

Thinking about senpai like that warms my heart.

That feeling only grows the more time I spend with Senpai.

In fact, I canโ€™t think of a single bad thing about him.

If this isnโ€™t love, then it must be some kind of illnessโ€ฆ

Even though Iโ€™m not very good at recognizing love, Iโ€™m not so stupid that I canโ€™t notice it.

I like Senpai, and this feeling is real.

โ€œBut I canโ€™t tell Senpai, can Iโ€ฆโ€

I know that Senpai cares about me, but I have no idea if it’s as a friend or if he feels the same way I do.

In that situation, there’s no way I could confess my feelings.

It’s a little difficult to consult with Miku-nee and Saki-nee about my current feelings, so what should I doโ€ฆ

It’s not like me, but after thinking about it for a whileโ€ฆ

โ€œAaah, this isn’t like me at all!!!โ€

I’ve always lived more freely than this, and I’ve never been so troubled before.

I like Seito-senpai!! There’s no doubt about that.

Then I should just act on it!!! If I don’t know whether Seito-senpai sees me as a romantic interest, then I should just try harder to get him to see me that way!!!

Enough with the indecision!! If I know Iโ€™ll be nervous, I just have to talk to him with that in mind from the start!!! Iโ€™ll just have to get used to it!!!

Today, I realized that Iโ€™m in loveโ€ฆ and that itโ€™s my first loveโ€ฆ

That night, I was so nervous I couldnโ€™t sleep at all.


Maiban


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