A Cheeky Junior Denied Me My Entire Life, so I Tested What Would Happen if I Jumped off a Rooftop to Vent My Anger
“Senpai…..?”
Yana’s heart jumps. A boy who should be familiar to her, smiling with a face as if he were a different person from before. His skin is so white that it makes her worry, and his eyes are black, as if they could swallow her up. He is an ordinary high school student with thin lines and a somewhat unreliable feeling.
He is undoubtedly Aoi Susumu. The only difference is the way he smiles, but he looks like a different person.
“…….”
Yana takes a step back in fear. Susumu’s eyes turned towards her
“…. What, Kamiya-san? What are you doing alone at this hour?”
“…… Eh?”
At that moment, as if a spell had been broken, Susumu’s atmosphere changed to a familiar one. Yana exhaled heavily, as if in relief.
“It’s you, …… Senpai, what are you doing in such an …… abandoned building at this hour?”
“Vampire slaying. Not the doer, but the victim.”
“Ha…..?”
Yana tilts her head, not understanding what it means. Susumu laughed again.
“Just kidding. There’s a girl who …… told me she’d show me a special world. I had a bit of a night out with her. …… but I didn’t think it would be this special.”
“…………”
Yana doesn’t know what to reply and lowers her gaze. She had no idea what Susumu meant. …But she’s still able to talk to Susumu like before. Yana was happy about that.
“Anyway, it’s already late, so Kamiya-san should go home. It’s dangerous around here.”
Susumu said as if he didn’t care and started walking away. Yana panics and stops Susumu.
“W-wait! I have something I want to …… apologise to senpai …… for.”
“What do you want to apologise for?”
Susumu stops. …He has dark eyes. Susumu shows his dark, bottomless eyes from time to time. Even now, Yana didn’t understand what Susumu was looking at with those eyes.
But still, she couldn’t run away anymore. Yana takes a deep breath once. When she exhales deeply, the unnecessary emotions disappear. It’s not convenient…….
Her hands shake with fear at the thought of rejection or denial. Still, Yana is determined and looks at Susumu.
A wind so cold you wouldn’t believe it was July blew, and Yana said.
“Umm…… senpai. I’ve been saying …… rude things all the time ……. I didn’t know anything about senpai helping me,……. So, Aoi-senpai! I’m sorry for saying terrible things …… over and over again!”
Yana said and bowed her head. She is …… too scared to look at Susumu’s face. Thinking of what would happen if he denies it, if he gets angry, her heart hurts and she feels like crying.
“…………”
Susumu looked at Yana with quiet eyes and exhaled as if to relax from his body. He then spoke words that Yana had never imagined.
“──It doesn’t matter now”
“…… Eh?”
Yana looks up in surprise. Susumu was laughing. With a face like a different person from before, he said.
“I finally found it. Something so special that everything doesn’t matter anymore. When I’m here, I don’t hear the rain anymore. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”
“What kind…. is that?”
“It has nothing to do with Kamiya-san.”
When assured of this, Yana is unable to say anything. Susumu stares at Yona with cold eyes.
“The truth is, I don’t like it when someone apologises to me. ……When I was in primary school, I was once misled by a prank on a picture I had spent hours drawing. Fortunately, the culprit was quickly found and he apologised to me. The teacher then told me to forgive him because he had apologised.”
Susumu then looks up at the sky. Today there are no clouds and, unlike that day, a beautiful starry sky can be seen.
“I’ve spent hours drawing this picture and it’s ruined, and I have to forgive him with that one word? I have to forgive him for the hundreds and thousands of expletives he’s thrown at me?”
“That’s …….”
Yana can’t say anything. Susumu gave a small laugh and shook his head.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to hurt you. I just feel bad myself when you lash out at me and try to hurt me in any way that you can. …… Revenge is a ridiculous thing to do. But that doesn’t mean you’re the only one who would benefit from forgiveness here. Clearly, this world is soft on perpetrators.”
The words are told solemnly. They sound matter-of-fact, as if he is merely confirming the facts, rather than being angry. Susumu continues.
“Even the perpetrator is hurt. When you hit someone, the fist you hit also hurts. With that kind of logic, do I have to forgive you? When I think about it, I don’t know. …… Kamiya-san, you remember what Yasaka-sensei said, don’t you? If you want to make a living from painting, you can’t just think about painting. That’s why I think about all sorts of things…”
“Please wait! I’m just ……”
Yana interrupts Susumu’s words, because he seems to be acting somewhat strangely. However, she can’t think of what to say next and can only stare at her own shadow.
Susumu looked at Yana and laughed a little.
“You don’t have to make that face. I’m not blaming Kamiya-san. But, Kamiya-san. In the end, you just want to apologize, be forgiven, and feel better about yourself?”
“T-That’s……!”
“Well, I don’t really care where your true feelings lie.”
Susumu speaks more than usual. It looks like he’s high somehow. But Yana doesn’t know why.
“Well, that’s fine. That’s enough. I forgive you everything. So don’t get involved with me anymore. I’ve finally found something that I enjoy doing. I don’t want to be spoiled by other people who don’t have anything to do with me anymore.”
Saying that, Susumu leaves.
“W-wait ……!”
She wanted him to stop. There was so much more she wanted to say. But that’s just what she wants to say, and Susumu doesn’t want to hear those words.
Yana’s legs stopped.
“Senpai’s right, …….”
The only reason she desperately wanted to find Susumu was because she just wanted him to forgive her. To be forgiven and become comfortable, she wanted to be free from the boring guilt. He saw through that kind of heart and still said he forgave her.
Neither denial nor rejection. He was neither angry nor resentful.
──It wasn’t there in his eyes.
She did not see Yana in his eyes. …… Yana felt frustrated by this. At the same time, she was terribly embarrassed. She was also happy that she had been following Susumu around. Because she realised that she had been thinking like that.
“I am ashamed. I’m ashamed. Embarrassed! Embarrassed ……! Stupid ……!”
It was just as Ririka had said. She was really a child. It is no different from a boy in primary school who is mean to a girl he likes and is shocked when the girl seriously rejects him.
Yana always thought that the opposite of liking is indifference, which is a nonsense of people who have never been maliciously targeted. she doesn’t get involved with unnecessary people. Don’t feel unnecessary feelings for people she doesn’t have anything to do with. Being indifferent is a way to protect oneself and others.
…But Yana never imagined that not being able to show any emotions would hurt so much. It was much, much easier to be abused and beaten.
“Really, I feel like an idiot ……”
Tears welled up from Yana’s eyes. No matter how much she wiped her eyes, the tears won’t stop. Feeling extremely pathetic, Yana looks up at the sky as if trying to escape.
“────”
Suddenly, their eyes met. Bright red eyes looked down at her from the rooftop. …Asama Ion. Now that she thinks about it, she remembers Rengo saying that she and Susumu were together.
“Fufu”
“……!”
She laughed. Yana can’t bear the pain in her chest and starts running at full speed.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
Yana runs through the night streets. While running, she forced herself to tell herself that she was sorry. Even if she didn’t think anything of herself, she was glad Susumu was doing well. As long as he can be happy, she doesn’t care if he hates her
…But the truth is that is not the case. Susumu has learned about a world that he shouldn’t know about. What kind of body did he become after jumping off that roof that day? The rumor about the man covered in blood is none other than Susumu, and what kind of world does he end up living in?
It will be a little while before Yana finds out. ……