A Cheeky Junior Denied Me My Entire Life, so I Tested What Would Happen if I Jumped off a Rooftop to Vent My Anger
At first, I longed for it.
Desperately chasing a distant back. Knowing that I would never reach it, I still kept running desperately. But I couldn’t see his back. ……It’s not that I won. It was just that the other side stopped on its own. But still, finally, I was able to overtake him.
I wish that was the end of it,……, but he start running again. This time, he runs as fast as he can to escape.
…… but the stride of a human and a monster are different. A human’s small stride is not enough to run away from a huge monster. The monster doesn’t care about the small human and starts walking somewhere far away. As if to say that our efforts were meaningless from the start, the monster just keeps moving forward.
—No matter how fast I run, I can’t catch up to it anymore.
◇
Finally, the troublesome final exams are over, and next week will be summer vacation. I’ve been thinking about my plans for the future, and I showed up at the art club’s activities. ……, but there was something wrong with the atmosphere in the club.
“What……Everyone was silent…….”
When I entered the art room, the noisy club room became unnaturally quiet.
It’s not like I used about people behind my back or make fun of them. Everyone was silent and looking at me from a distance.
They looked at me as if they were looking at a foreign object with a hint of fear in their eyes. Is there something else going on in the world that I don’t know about?
“Well, what does it matter?”
I don’t care about my reputation of the art club now. The reason for this is that there is no longer any reason to be concerned about this club in the first place. After I finish my match with Rengo and get my scholarship turned down, I’m going to quit the club. There is no reason to stay in this place any longer.
I have already decided who and what I will draw for.
While I was sitting on a nearby chair thinking in a daze, the door to the club room opened and a woman with a lazy look appeared.
“Have you come, Aoi? You …. come here for a minute.”
Accompanied by Yasaka-sensei, who looks as grumpy as ever, I come to the art preparation room. The teacher again sits on a chair with her legs crossed in a pompous manner and throws a piece of non-smoking gum into her mouth.
“Aoi, I heard you drew a …… picture?”
“… well, you know.”
I swallowed my small surprise and said in reply.
“Someone went to the trouble of taking a picture of it to show me.”
The teacher pulls her phone out of her pocket and shows it to me. The red night sky I had painted the other day was displayed on the screen.
“I forgot to erase it…..”
After Asama-san looked at it, I went to erase it and forgot about it. ……, I had no idea that someone had even taken a picture of it.
Yasaka-sensei looked at me and exhaled in dismay.
“You should understand the value of your drawings a little better. Didn’t I …… say the same thing to you before?”
“…..I think I understand.”
“I still think it’s undervalued. ……Well, that’s okay. Anyway, you got over your slump, didn’t you?”
I thought about it for a moment and then replied
“I don’t know. But I have found what I want to paint and the reason why I want to keep painting.”
“I see. Then, it’s good.”
I am not sure if she is happy or angry. The teacher, with an expression that is hard to tell, throws another piece of gum into her mouth.
“So, are you planning to enter the upcoming competition?”
“I intend to, yes. Rengo challenged me to compete, and even if I don’t, I want to complete at least one piece before I quit the club. I also received a scholarship.”
“I see.”
The teacher then turned her gaze again to the red sky reflected in her phone.
“If you were to enter the competition right now, you would definitely win. … This kind of drawing is not the kind of drawing that a high school student would draw. Even if I don’t bother to judge it, everyone will admit defeat on their own. This is how it is.”
“But recently, Rengo and Usa-san have been getting a lot of results, haven’t they?”
“Well, those guys are growing too, that’s for sure. ……Touyama paints a delicate picture for his character. I’m a little concerned that he’s too immersed in his own world, but I like his willingness to always try new things.”
The teacher put down her phone and continued her words.
“Usa is genuinely good at what she does. If we are talking about technique alone, she is probably one of the best in the club. She draws nice pictures, mature for her age. But she does not just put her pictures together neatly. That’s her bad habit.”
The teacher crosses her legs and looks out the window. Unfortunately, today’s weather is not so good. It is not raining, but thick clouds are covering the sky.
“If I had to say a year, it would be Kamiya. She’s a bit like you.
Once she gets into it, even I am surprised at how good her drawings are. But on the other hand, if she doesn’t get into it, it’s not much of a story. ……The rest are Hijiyama, Chokai, and Ato. …..still inexperienced, but there’s a slight chance of winning.”
“……Sensei, you’re surprisingly interested in everyone, aren’t you? I thought you would be more uninterested in your surroundings.”
“I’m still a teacher, after all.”
The teacher exhales, as if in self-mockery.
“However, among them, you are outstanding. Your skills are one thing, but above all, you have good eyes. The world reflected in your eyes has a beauty that can silence people. Even if someone try to imitate you, they cannot”
“I’m honestly happy to hear …… your praise, but did you call me all the way down here just to talk about it?”
“The main topic is from here. I’m going to talk about your shortcomings that I thought about when I saw your picture …… .”
The teacher looked straight at me with a serious expression that she usually does not show.
“Your drawings are indeed wonderful. If you were to enter a competition today, you would win all kinds of prizes, both domestic and international. There is that much beauty in your paintings.”
“What’s wrong with it…… then?”
“That’s your only clear weakness. Aoi, you can’t draw …… people, can you?”
“That’s ……”
I was at a loss for words at that question.
“As far as I know, the only paintings you do are landscapes. At your core, you think humans are ugly creatures.”
“I don’t deny it, though……”
“I don’t say there is anything wrong with that. I don’t deny your style of painting only what you think is beautiful. But beauty and ugliness are two sides of the same coin. If you don’t understand that, you will eventually hit a big wall.”
“…..It is true that I can only paint what I think is beautiful. But I don’t understand why you go out of your way to paint ugly things.”
“No, no. I’m not saying you should paint ugly things.
You just turn your eyes away from the ugliness that beauty contains. The beauty you depict is so overwhelming that it is easy to forget that, but there is just as much ugliness in this world as there is beauty. There is ugliness in beauty, and beauty in ugliness. You know that, don’t you?”
“Well, it’s not that I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. ……”
But I’m not thinking about making a living through painting. If I can draw what I want to draw the way I want to draw it, and someone tells me it’s beautiful, then I don’t want anything more.
But I am sure that I am not good at drawing people…. It is not a technical problem, but the beauty of the human creature is not clear to me. That is why I drew the world in which Asama-san lives, rather than drawing her.
I think Asama-san is beautiful, and lovely.. but when I try to capture that beauty in my painting, the beauty is far away.
The …… focus, is not right.
The teacher continues to speak with a serious face.
“I don’t know what you’re going to do for a living in the future. Still, if you’re as talented as you are, it won’t be difficult to earn a living through painting…But in the world of painting, there are monsters like you. There is a person who won an award three years in a row at the Etoile Painting Exhibition.”
“Allen, was it? A genius painter whose identity is completely unknown.”
“If you search the world, you will find many other monsters. Your paintings are already on a stage where they can be compared with them.
If you want to compete with such people, beauty alone will eventually reach its limit. Like me….”
“………..”
This person …… Yasaka sensei was also a painter who dominated the world. But one day, she suddenly retired and now lives like this as a teacher. I don’t know what happened to this teacher, but now I understand the weight of what she once said “It’s not that I can’t paint, it’s that I won’t paint.”
I am sure that she went through many things, just as I went through many things. ……her words are too heavy for me to ignore.
The teacher throws another piece of gum into her mouth and looks at me.
“Have you ever met Akanezaka?”
“Akanezaka …… Oh, the head of our club?”
I must have met her once when I was a freshman. But that person had been absent from school for a long time and never came to school, so we hardly had a chance to talk.
“That fellow is outstanding at drawing the ugly. She paints in a different way from you, in a way that you wouldn’t expect from a high school student. So, you should meet her and talk with her. You will get something out of it. I called you up today with the intention of telling you that but……”
“Is there a problem?”
“The problem is,……, she just doesn’t come to school. A few weeks ago, she used to go to the school nurse’s office and take her tests in a different room. Lately, she hasn’t been coming to school at all.”
“…Did something happen to her?”
In response to my question, the teacher looked tired, rested her weight on the back of her chair, and said,
“When I called Akanezaka the other day, he said…… that he’s a vampire now and he can’t go outside.”
“────”
Isn’t that dumb? I have no words to reply to the teacher who said that
—-I’m a vampire.
Normally, I would have laughed at that statement. But now I had a clear idea of what it was.
“……, can you give me Akanezaka-san’s contact information?”
“I’ve told her about you before, and she’s given me permission,……,. It is unusual for you to show interest in another person.”
“I have a bit of a history with vampires,…….”
“What’s that? Are you even going to tell me what vampires are? …Maybe that kind of thing is popular now? ”
The teacher, who seemed unusually confused, gave me Akanesaka-san’s contact information, and I left the art preparation room. …If it doesn’t matter, don’t do it, that’s fine. However, somehow I had a bad feeling about it.
◇
Even after Susumu left the art room with his advisor, Yasaka, there was a heavy atmosphere in the club room.
The troublesome tests were over, and it would be summer vacation in a short while. It was supposed to be the most enjoyable time of the year, but everyone’s expressions were not good. Everyone was staring at the blackboard, which had nothing drawn on it, as if searching for something. Almost unconsciously, their gazes were drawn to the blackboard.
“I wonder what Aoi-senpai-senpai will draw in the upcoming competition. ……”
Someone muttered these words in a small voice.
At first, everyone thought that Rengo was going to win, but after seeing that picture, no one could say the same thing. Now no one thinks that Rengo will win anymore.
Even those who did not come to the art room that day learned about Susumu’s painting from the pictures that were shared with the art club group. Everyone was fascinated by that beautiful red night, and so many of them drew…
Since that day, Hijiyama has not shown up for club activities. Even today, a few days after the end of the test, there is no sign of coming to the club room. Yana and Ririka also showed up, but they seemed to be somewhat preoccupied and did not open their mouths.
Then, Rengo ……
“Hey, do you know what happened? I heard that Toyama-senpai ran away from home. He hasn’t been coming to school since the end of the test.”
“Ran away from home? I don’t know what that means.
Why?”
“I don’t know the reason either, but he looked a little strange after he saw Aoi senpai’s picture, didn’t he? So I thought something might have happened. ……”
“Ah. Well, if you asked him to compete with that drawing, I can understand how you would want to run away. Toyama-senpai is also good at drawing, but Aoi-senpai is on a slightly different level. But then, is there really a need to run away from home? He just doesn’t have to come to club activities.”
“I don’t know anything about that.”
While listening to the voices of the club members secretly gossiping, Ririka takes out her smartphone from her skirt pocket and tries to send a message to Rengo… but she quits halfway through.
“….Well, doesn’t matter”
Ririka stands up and leaves the club room. …Before that, she turned her gaze towards the blackboard one last time. A familiar blackboard. The red sky is no longer there. …And yet, just by closing her eyes for a moment, that sky comes to mind. It’s stuck in her head and won’t go away.
“….I really hate it.”
Ririka muttered a small voice at the end.
what a petty bitch.