I Drink Every Night With a Lookalike of a Popular Idol on the Riverbank
That day, Nanase seemed a little different than usual.
She appeared on the riverbank wearing a mask, looking somewhat exhausted.
“Nanase, you look tired. Did something happen? You don’t seem well…”
“Well… yes. A little. The thing that was supposed to cheer me up ended up making me feel worse.”
She replied quietly, still wearing her mask. Her voice was weaker than usual. She must be really tired.
Just as I said, “Don’t push yourself too hard,” she opened her mouth to respond. At that moment, an overwhelming smell hit my nose through the gap in her mask.
It was a violent garlic smell, so strong that I wondered if it had been developed as a weapon by humans. So, the thing that was supposed to cheer her up was garlic.
Before I could think, the words slipped out of my mouth instinctively.
“It stinks…”
Time stood still.
Nanase froze like a statue. I realized what I had just said and felt the blood drain from my face. “Oh no,” I thought, but it was too late.
After a while, she spoke slowly in a trembling voice.
“That’s number one on the list of things you shouldn’t say to girls in this world. And ‘stinky’ is worse than ‘smelly’ in terms of damage.”
“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean any harm, but I was so shocked that I just… I didn’t expect such a cute person to smell like that…”
“A cute shock…”
“Yeah, yeah! Shock. Garlic shock.”
“…”
She let out a deep, long sigh and shifted her mask slightly. Her face looked resigned. Then, she gagged at the smell of her own breath.
I wanted to ask why she moved her mask at that moment, and reflexively wanted to say something. I swallowed the word “smell” and reached out to adjust her mask.
“By the way, what do you think is number two?”
“Huh, number two?”
I thought I was going to be scolded, but it turned out to be a quiz. I cautiously asked back.
“…Did you gain weight?”
“That would be in the top five, but the correct answer is, ‘Hey, you seem different today.’”
“Why!? Isn’t that a compliment?”
When I was genuinely surprised, Nanase shook her head in exasperation.
“Well, ‘vibe’ is just a cop-out. For example, let’s say you cut your hair, wear new clothes, or change your makeup. You can’t notice the specific changes, but you just want to say something nice, so you use the word ‘vibe’ to cover it up.”
“I see…”
“Plus, saying ‘You look different today’ can lead to annoying overthinking, like ‘Does that mean my usual self is no good?’ If you’re going to compliment someone, be specific, like ‘That hair color suits you’ or ‘Your outfit today is nice.’”
“That’s helpful… So, number three is…”
“ ‘You’re surprisingly domestic.’”
“What!? That’s no good either!?”
“No. It makes me wonder, ‘How do you usually see me?’ It hides an unconscious prejudice like, ‘You don’t seem like the type to cook at all.’”
“I didn’t mean it that way…”
“Yousuke, you’re so unconscious about a lot of things. A lot of things…”
Nanase’s tone was her usual sarcastic one, but her eyes were smiling. It seemed like her mood had improved a little. I felt relieved, but continued this dangerous conversation.
“Then, number 4 is…”
“You’re small, but you eat a lot.”
“Ah…”
“You might think you’re doting on them like a small animal, but the person being told feels like they’re being labeled with the contradictory symbols of ‘small’ and ‘big eater.’ Also, it feels like they’re being judged for how much they eat, which is unpleasant.”
“…I can’t say anything else.”
“That’s right. Even when you’re complimenting someone, you have to approach it with the same caution as walking through a minefield.”
“A minefield!?”
“Yeah. That’s right. Yosuke has stepped into a dangerous minefield. You can’t run away, okay?”
Saying that, she smiled. Seeing that smile, I could only nod in agreement.
“Huff… Hah…”
“Nanase-san, are you consciously sighing more often?”
“No, it’s just your imagination.”
“Oh, I see…”
“Well, I was really torn about whether to come or not.”
“That’s… I’m glad you came.”
“Even though I smell bad?”
“No… my nose is stuffed up.”
“Haha… it’s too late now.”
Nanase laughed loudly, pulled down her mask, and blew her breath toward me.
“It might be the opposite. The gap, you know.”
Nanase looked shocked and said, “Eh…” and moved away by the distance of one can of chu-hi. Today’s distance was three cans of chuhai.
◆
A few days later. I was at home, playing with my smartphone and lazily browsing social media. My finger scrolling through the timeline suddenly stopped at a trending hashtag.
Nagi-chan did her best
I wondered what it was and tapped on it, and there were several short video clips lined up. I pressed play. There, on a variety show set, was Yunagi, teary-eyed, biting directly into a giant industrial-sized garlic tube.
“Yaa! No way! Ugh… It’s delicious, but it smells bad!”
“Wow…”
I couldn’t help but gasp.
In the video, the comedians were shouting, “What are you making the idol do!” and “But she’s amazing!” She kept bringing the tube to her mouth, desperately hiding her tearful face with a smile.
I imagined the face of the national idol smiling bravely on the smartphone screen and the face of my slightly nosy drinking buddy who was talking about “things you shouldn’t say to girls” on the riverbank at the same time.
Nanase-san probably just ate some garlic-loaded ramen or something.
“Idols and their lookalikes… both have it tough, don’t they?”
I muttered that to myself, without addressing anyone in particular.
On that long autumn night, only the social media timeline continued to glow brightly.
Maiasa