I Was Supposed to Be Giving Love Advice on the School Radio, but Before I Knew It, the Beautiful Girls at School Were Hitting on Me
I woke up in a daze. As I slowly opened my eyes, feeling the sudden glare of light, I saw the old ceiling filling my field of vision.
In my hazy state of consciousness, my brain slowly began to understand the situation I was in.
“Oh, right, I collapsed…”
Maybe I didn’t drink enough water. Maybe I pushed myself too hard today because of the fireworks festival. What time is it now? What about the customers? I have to serve them, and Senpai….
“Hey, don’t move suddenly.”
A voice came from the side. I turned my head and saw the store manager, Kaori san, sitting on the bench.
“You just woke up, so lie down.”
“But…the store…”
The sky visible through the small window was slightly dark but still blue. Even though it’s summer and the sun sets late, it should still be business hours. If the store manager is taking care of me, that means only my senior is at the store. In that case, I have to go…
“The store is closed.”
“…Eh?”
“We can’t keep the store open with an employee collapsed. I’ve asked Kageyama to bring some new ice packs.”
“Oh, I see…I’m sorry…”
I see….I’ve caused trouble again. The fact that the store had to close because of me weighs heavily on my heart. Even I can tell how much of a loss that would be.
However, the manager scratched her head apologetically.
“Um…Makino chan, I’m sorry. I’m unfit to be a manager if I can’t even manage the staff’s health.”
“D-don’t apologize ! It was so busy, there was nothing we could do ! I’m the one who should be apologizing…”
I desperately tried to cover for her, but Kaori san just smiled wryly.
“Kageyama gave me a good scolding too, saying, ‘What are you doing to Kinami !’ He was furious, with an expression I’ve never seen before.”
“Is that so…Kageyama senpai…”
Senpai was worried about me. Normally, I would be happy to hear those words, but they felt like a criticism of my weakness, and I couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. My narrow-mindedness made me feel even more self-conscious.
“Kinami !”
Just then, he walked in. He had an ice pack on his shoulder and was out of breath. He must have run all the way here.
“Are you okay, Kinami !”
Senpai rushed over to me with the same momentum. His expression was filled with concern…I couldn’t help but look away.
So I put on my usual bright smile.
“I’m fine, Senpai. You’re overreacting about a little heatstroke.”
“You collapsed, and you call it ‘a little’…..!”
His voice was a mix of anger and concern, and he looked like he was about to grab me, but he seemed to be holding back.
“It was just because I was hungry. I took a nap, and look, I’m fine now !”
I sat up and waved my arms around. But Senpai’s expression didn’t soften.
“Hey, you always act like you’re fine, but….”
“Hey, Kageyama.”
Kaori san stopped Kageyama senpai, who was about to say something.
“Since you brought the ice pack, could you please bring Makino chan a big bottle of Pocari Sweat?”
“Eh, if it’s Pocari, it’s right there…”
Senpai glanced behind him, but there wasn’t a single plastic bottle in sight.
“We ran out of stock today because we sold it all to customers, so could you go to the supermarket and buy some, even though it’s a bit far?”
Saying that, Kaori san handed Kageyama senpai a few 1,000 yen bills.
“Alright, thanks a lot.”
“…Got it. Kinami, stay put, okay?”
Senpai reluctantly nodded and hurried off to his bicycle. The two of us watched until his figure grew small in the distance.
“…Thank you.”
“No problem. This is an adult’s job, after all.”
To be honest, I felt relieved. If I had met Senpai now, I think I would have been overwhelmed with various emotions. I felt like she could see through me, but I was still grateful.
Kaori san let out a sigh and shifted her gaze to the seaside. Her eyes were on the sea, but it felt like she was looking even further away.
“…I’m being pathetic, aren’t I?”
The words that slipped out were not drowned out by the sound of the waves.
“I have someone I like.”
“…”
Kaori san didn’t respond, but I took it as an agreement.
“He’s a senior at my part-time job, and he’s an amazing person. He gives his all to what he loves and always works hard for it. I fell for someone like that…”
The words that had been swirling around in my mind came out surprisingly smoothly.
“But he only thinks of me as a younger sister.”
I tried to take a deep breath, but the air got stuck in my throat, and I made a strange sound.
“He’s such an amazing person, someone I could never catch up to, so I thought I’d at least try to catch up to him somehow, and…”
The words that had come out so smoothly were mixed with emotions that couldn’t be put into words, and I couldn’t stop myself.
“I tried so hard to be recognized by him, but…it didn’t work out at all, and instead, I ended up causing trouble…”
Once the dam of emotions had burst, there was no stopping it. Feelings welled up from the depths of my stomach.
“…I just wanted to be on equal footing with him, I just wanted to feel like I belonged by his side !”
The scene from that time flashes back in my mind. When Senpai and the president faced each other and shared their thoughts on swimsuits, when Senpai and Tomori chan teased each other, when Senpai took a photo with Kitahara senpai…
The girls standing beside Senpai looked so well-suited to him, like people worthy of standing beside him or facing him.
…But I couldn’t imagine myself being there at all. So, I tried to make an effort, but that’s all I did…!
“Did I do something wrong by trying my best for the person I like…!?”
I just wanted to stand next to him, but why can’t I even be allowed to make an effort to make that happen…!
“Makino chan.”
Suddenly, a hand was placed on my head. The warmth of her hand slowly spread from my head. Kaori san continued to look off into the distance, exhaling slowly.
“You’re too serious !”
Immediately after, a light blow struck my head. For a moment, I couldn’t understand what had happened.
Eh, what? Why did I just get hit? The unexpected blow left my mind blank.
Confused, I pressed my hand to the top of my head and looked up, and Kaori san smiled cheerfully and sat down next to me.
“Makino chan, do you really understand what you’re saying?”
“Don’t make fun of me ! I’m seriously worried !”
“Ah, that’s exactly what I mean when I say you’re too serious.”
After waving her hand lightly, Kaori san placed her hand on my head.
“Listen, Makino chan, do you understand the terms ‘absolute evaluation’ and ‘relative evaluation’?”
“Don’t mock me, I understand that much.”
It means how you feel about yourself or how you compare to others, right? I understand that much. Seeing my resistance, Kaori san held up two fingers.
“Then, I’ll ask you two questions, Makino chan.”
“……What is this all of a sudden?”
“Never mind, never mind.”
I had a lot of complaints, but I was half-forced into accepting the questions.
“Then, question one: when you compare yourself to someone else, do you think you are superior or inferior? Is it relative or absolute?”
“Well, it’s obviously relative.”
Comparing yourself to others is obviously relative. But Kaori san smiled meaningfully.
“Alright, question two. When judging whether you’re putting in effort, is it relative or absolute?”
“…Absolute evaluation.”
“Well, I guess you’d say that, Makino chan.”
Kaori san looked satisfied with something.
“Alright, so Makino chan’s score is…””
“Was there a score?”
Drdrdrdrdr, a mysterious sound effect she made herself was inserted.
“Ta-da ! Zero points~”
“Wha !”
No matter how you look at it, it’s obviously 100 points, yet it’s zero points… She glared at me with intense eyes.
“…That’s sophistry.”
“Fufu, can’t you believe it?”
“You’re just saying whatever sounds plausible ! Aren’t you just trying to gloss over it with nonsense?”
She was aware that she was being quite rude, but Kaori san smiled softly. Then, as if she had noticed a sound, she glanced behind her.
“Well, what I say doesn’t have much persuasive power…”
With that, she stood up abruptly.
“Alright, then I’ll pass the baton. I think Kageyama would be better at prescribing medicine.”
“Medicine…?”
Just then, the door to the beach house opened with a bang.
“I bought some Pocari !”
“Oh, great timing !”
Kageyama senpai placed the plastic bag on the table. It was clearly not just Pocari Sweat.
“Um, this is Pocari Sweat, and the rest is…”
Muttering under his breath, Senpai took out a cooling patch from the bag. Holding both ends, he gestured with his chin.
“Here, I’ll put it on for you, so stick out your forehead.”
“Wait a minute ! I can do that myself.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s a privilege of being sick, so just let me do it.”
“Even Kaori san…”
Overwhelmed by the pressure from the older people, I obediently lifted my bangs. Closing my eyes and exposing my forehead, I felt a cool sensation…but it disappeared immediately. I repeated this several times.
…Hey, isn’t this taking too long?
With my eyes closed, I felt extremely anxious, and after a while, I couldn’t stand it anymore and slowly opened my eyes. There, right in front of me, was my senior’s face.
“Whoa !”
“Hey, don’t open your eyes suddenly !”
“I’ll open them ! But isn’t it taking too long to apply one cooling patch?”
“Of course it takes time! Your skin is so beautiful, I want to apply it properly…”
“What?”
I stuttered reflexively. I could feel my cheeks flush, but fortunately, Senpai had turned away.
I let out a sigh of relief, but when I looked up, I saw Kaori san grinning at me.
“Well, then, I’ll leave you two alone to enjoy your youth.”
“Wait, wait ! Please wait !”
I couldn’t believe I was left alone with Senpai in this situation, so I tried to stop her, but Kaori san didn’t even look back and walked out the door.
“…..”
“…..”
The remaining members of the youth group remained silent, facing each other at close range without making eye contact. The cooling patch felt unusually cold.
Senpai seemed to be thinking about something for a while, but then he made a decision.
“So, why did this happen?”
“…I just misjudged my limits.”
“That’s a lie.”
“It’s not a lie !”
I didn’t mean to say anything wrong. At that moment, I really thought I could work harder.
But Senpai replied without hesitation.
“The Kinami I know is smarter than that. He does what he can do properly. He does tend to overwork himself, but today was clearly abnormal.”
“Abnormal…”
It was a pretty harsh choice of words, especially coming from someone who works in radio. Senpai’s words stabbed me, and the emotions I had been holding inside threatened to spill out.
So, I tried to cover up the hole by looking down and forcing a smile, not caring that my face was contorted.
“Senpai…your words are unusually strong today. Are you angry?”
“Yes, I’m angry.”
The unexpected words made me reflexively look up. Senpai’s eyes were filled with strong emotions. …He looked like he was about to cry from regret and anger.
“I’m angry…..at you for working until you collapsed, and at myself for not being able to stop you.”
I stared blankly, unable to understand my senior’s words, and noticed that his hands, placed at his knees, were clenched tightly.
“…I’m sorry, Kinami.”
“Why are you apologizing, Senpai ! This was all my fault for going off on my own, so you don’t need to feel responsible as my supervisor !”
The words “supervisory responsibility” resonated deeply with me, but they also stirred up a vague sense of unease. I couldn’t help but hate the fact that I was someone who needed to be supervised.
But Senpai slowly shook his head.
“No, Kinami. This isn’t about supervisory responsibility.”
“…What’s the difference?”
The words that came out reflexively were quite self-deprecating. I felt trapped in a cycle of self-loathing for being unable to show any other attitude toward Senpai, who was worried about me.
Staring intently at me, Senpai took a slow breath.
“Kinami, I respect you.”
“…Eh?”
Those were the most shocking words of the day. Huh? What does that mean? Senpai respects me? That’s impossible. Because I’m… But Senpai’s expression was completely serious.
“You’re an amazing person. Even though you’re younger than me, you work quickly and never slack off. No matter how many customers come in, you never lose your smile, and even today, when you realized we couldn’t handle it, you immediately volunteered to help.”
“No, but that’s..”
“That’s why I hesitated for a moment before stopping you. I thought, ‘Maybe Kinami can do it.'”
“Senpai respects me…..”
Only fragmented words came out of my mouth. But I’ve been working so hard to catch up to Senpai…..because I’m not as good as the others….
My thoughts were spinning around and around, making me feel restless. But Senpai took a deep breath and grabbed my shoulders firmly.
“Hyaa !”
A weak voice escaped my lips. But Senpai stared intently at my face.
“I may not be reliable, but I’m still your senior. If there’s anything you’re struggling with, I want you to share it with me.”
That passionate statement made my brain freeze for a moment. But maybe because my thoughts cleared up, I remembered a certain phrase.
—-When you feel like you’re inferior to someone else, is it relative or absolute?
“Could it be…”
I muttered softly. The answer to Kaori san’s question floated vaguely in my mind. But I still couldn’t be sure. The old me kept denying that answer.
(Well, then, let’s settle this here and now.)
I made up my mind and looked straight at my senior. Our eyes locked, but I didn’t look away. I took a slow breath.
“Senpai, I have something I want to talk to you about. It’s about love.”
I felt like I was finally facing Senpai and myself for the first time.
Maitoshi