The Beautiful Girl With a Kind Personality and Good Looks, Who Happens to Be My Childhood Friend, Seems to Have Eyes Only for Me
side Kamiya Yamato
The hopeless weekend was finally over.
I barely checked my phone notifications. Even if I did, I knew they wouldn’t be anything good. It took me an unusually long time just to get out of bed. It wasn’t that my body felt heavy. My heart was the one sinking like lead. Even after spending the whole weekend wallowing, I was still dragging myself through it.
After somehow dragging my heavy body to the bathroom, the first thing I saw was my own face reflected in the mirror. Dark circles under my eyes, puffy skin around them. My expression was lifeless, like a dead fish.
โโฆSigh.โ
I sighed, washed my face, and forced myself into my uniform. I didn’t want to go. Who the hell wants to go to school the day after getting dumped? But if I skipped, people would just look at me weird. Feeling that way, I ended up leaving the house.
Walking along the path to school, I saw them at the unmarked crossroads just past the corner.
Yuma and Haru.
They weren’t just walking side by side. They were arm in arm. And not even trying to hide it, just naturally. Haru was smiling a little shyly, and Yuma had her beside him as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
My chest tightened.
(โฆAh, so that’s it.)
They really are that kind of relationship now. I wasn’t at the spot where the three of us always used to meet; only the two of them were there.
I remembered what Haru had said on Friday. That she’d liked Yuma since middle school. I hadn’t known anything. Or maybe I’d just been pretending not to notice. Had Haru thought of me as a nuisance all those five years since middle school?
Thinking about that, my feet nearly stopped. I waited at the entrance for a while to avoid running into Yuma and the others, then forced myself to keep moving toward school.
The moment I entered the classroom, I knew the atmosphere was off.
There was the usual morning noise, yet something felt unsettled. The whispering was unnervingly loud. I headed toward the group I usually talked with.
โMorningโฆโ
The moment I spoke, their conversation stopped dead.
โHey, what were you guys talking about?โ
One looked away awkwardly, while the other whispered.
โโฆYou didn’t hear?โ
โHear what?โ
After a moment’s hesitation, he lowered his voice further.
โAbout that accident.โ
โAccident?โ
โThat post on the school bulletin board, supposedly written by a parent? Rumor’s saying the perpetrator might be connected to this school.โ
My heart made a sickening thud.
โAnd now they’re saying the family is here.โ
โโฆHuh?โ
โLook, check this out.โ
ใSchool Bulletin Boardใ
ใI heard this, butโฆใ
Confidential User
@Parent (Anonymous)
20XX-4-24
I heard rumors that someone related to the perpetrator of an accident is among the current students.
The accident happened about six years ago near โโ and was apparently a hit-and-run. I hear the victim still suffers from lasting effects. Since my son also attends this school, I’m worried.
Does anyone know anything about this?
My child is in second grade and will be taking entrance exams next year. I’m worried, so I’m asking.
0 replies
My mind went blank.
โThey didn’t name names, butโฆ some pretty detailed info is going aroundโฆโ
Cold sweat ran down my back.
It’s us.
It’s about me. No one mentioned my name.
โH-heyโฆ Who’s saying that?โ
โNo idea. But it seems to be spreading pretty fast already.โ
โWait, Yamato. You look pale. What’s wrong? Could it beโฆ because Ayase-san was taken by Asahina?โ
I felt like the stares around me were somehow avoiding me. It’s not โconfirmedโ yet. Just a rumor. But the suspicious eyes of the entire class had already started turning my way. Or so it felt.
My breathing grew shallow.
โโฆI’m gonna go to the bathroom.โ
โHey! Ayase-sanโโ
That was all I said before leaving the classroom. The hallway air felt unnaturally cold. My footsteps echoed unusually loudly. It felt like everyone passing by in the hallway was staring at me.
(Whyโฆ why now?)
It should have been over. I’d been holding my breath all this time, careful not to be touched, careful not to be known.
And yetโ
Of all times, it had to be right when Yuma and Haru started dating.
โDamn itโฆโ
I rushed into a bathroom stall and locked the door. The moment I sat down on the toilet seat lid, all the strength drained from my body.
They haven’t found out.
Not directly, yet.
But it might only be a matter of time.
What if they find out?
What if Yuma finds out?
What kind of face would he make? I was Yuma’s best friend until last week, for crying out loud.
Haru wasโ
โโฆThis is bad, right?โ
hands were shaking. Even pulling my phone from my pocket, my fingertips wouldn’t obey me. I unlocked it and opened the search screen with trembling fingers. I had a bad feeling about this. But I couldn’t not look.
Typing in the school name, a likely bulletin board popped up immediately.
The thread was already growing.
With every scroll of the screen, the number of replies increased. Someone was posting in real time.
My throat felt raw. With trembling hands, I opened the posts.
ใปSeems like a student caused a traffic accident a few years ago
ใปThat accident apparently wasn’t properly handled
ใปThe victim still attends the school
ใปThe perpetrator’s side is living as if nothing happened
ใปThey seem to be brushing it off with โI don’t rememberโ or โIt’s none of my businessโ
My vision warped and distorted.
โโฆ!โ
The strength drained from my hand gripping the phone. My heart was loud. It was pounding deep in my ears.
(Stopโฆ just stopโฆ)
No one mentioned any names. Yet it felt like they were pointing directly at me. The original poster who wrote this definitely knows my name. But not using it means they’re targeting meโ
I couldn’t breathe properly. Heat surged in the back of my throat, and the sensation of my stomach turning came rushing up. I frantically crouched down inside the stall.
โUghโฆ Ughโฆโ
The moment my face neared the toilet bowl, the rising nausea forced itself out. My stomach was nearly empty, leaving only the unpleasant taste of the bread I’d forced down that morning when I had no appetite.
My eyes burned. I couldn’t tell if it was tears or just a physical reaction.
โHaahโฆ Haahโฆโ
My breathing grew ragged. My hands still wouldn’t stop shaking. New comments had appeared on my phone screen.
โYou’re the worst
โThe victim is so pitiful
โIt’s terrifying you’re just coming to school like normal
โNo, noโฆโ
The words slipped out before I could stop them. I didn’t even know what was wrong. I wasn’t the one who caused the accident. My parents were driving.
But.
The one living on the โside that knows nothingโ was undoubtedly me. I stood frozen, my back pressed against the stall door. The ceiling seemed unnaturally far away.
The bell rang. The sound signaling the start of first period.
My body wouldn’t move. I had no courage left to go back to class. There was no way I could walk into that sea of stares.
They couldn’t remember names,
But what if they knew?
What if I got kicked out of the group I always hung with?
What if I lost even Maho and Koharu, who talked to me?
Holding my phone tightly, I curled up.
In the endโall I could do during morning classes was stare at the bulletin board on my phone in the bathroom, or throw up what I’d eaten into the toilet.
Maiasa