The Beautiful Girl With a Kind Personality and Good Looks, Who Happens to Be My Childhood Friend, Seems to Have Eyes Only for Me
Side Kamiya Chiya
Riiingโฆ Riiingโฆ
The ringtone sounded unusually distant. After several rings, consciousness finally surfaced. Annoying. Rubbing my heavy eyelids, I groped for the phone beside my pillow.
โOh, right.
I checked the bulletin board this morning.
Everything from my middle school days was laid bare.
I genuinely thought my life was over.
I cried and cried until I was exhausted, then just fell asleep.
My trembling fingers pressed the call button.
โโฆHello?โ
My voice was hoarse, surprising even myself.
‘Chiya? Were you sleeping?’
A familiar, comforting voice. It was Mitsuri.
My blurry vision scanned the room, still dim and untouched since morning. The numbers on the clock on my desk were faintly visible.
14:30
โฆI slept that long.
‘Chiya, right now’
Mitsuri continued, her voice carrying a slight bounce.
โI’m at your house.โ
โโฆHuh?โ
My eyes snapped open.
โI debated ringing the doorbell, but thought I should call first.โ
My mind couldn’t keep up. Still in my pajamas, my hair a mess, the room a disaster.
โWh-whyโฆโ
โBecause I was worried, obviously. Plus, we promised, right? That I’d come later.
Chiya hasn’t answered any calls since this morning. I knew she was definitely bottling it all up alone.โ
A warmth slowly spread deep within my chest.
โAnyway, just show your face. Can you make it to the front door? If not, I was going to head back.โ
โโฆI’m coming now.โ
I said that, but honestly, just standing up left me gasping for breath. My legs felt weak, my head was fuzzy, and my face was a mess. But knowing Mitsuri was outside made me think I had to go.
My body was so worn out I couldn’t even go down the stairs without holding onto the railing. Normally, I’d laugh at how much I felt like an old lady, but I couldn’t laugh at all. My heart was worn out too.
The moment I opened the door, I saw Mitsuri’s face. The realization that I wasn’t alone hit me, and I just broke down.
โChiyaโฆโ
Just hearing my name made the tears flow uncontrollably. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe properly. In that state, Mitsuri hugged me tight. It was warm, and I finally felt like I could breathe again.
โCome on, let’s go back inside? You’re in your pajamas, after all.โ
When I nodded, she took my hand like a child being led home by their mother and pulled me back to the room. There was nowhere to sit, so she sat me down on the bed. I couldn’t speak, just rubbing my eyes with my sleeve.
Then Mitsuri asked,
โCan you see this?โ
She held out her phone. I didn’t really want to look. She’d told me not to look that morning, and I could guess what it said. I knew seeing it would push me over the edge. But I felt like I had to see it, so I took it.
It was our class group chat screen.
ใIs that screenshot real?ใ
ใSo that’s what Chiya was really likeใ
ใShe acted all pure and innocent, but behind the scenes she’s messed upใ
ใNow the brother’s getting called out too, and he’s her brother, but the sister too?ใ
โฆI couldn’t take it.
My breath came out with a weird sound.
โIt’s circulating among the whole grade too.โ
Next, I was shown another screen.
A bulletin board post.
ใปShe’s the type who never reflects, right?
ใปBet she’s already got another guy lined up.
ใปJust a fucking bitch.
ใปSpreading her legs for anyone is gross.
The scene of the classroom popped into my head. The faces of the girls I’d talked to normally until yesterday. I knew for sure I couldn’t go back in there anymore.
โโฆIt’s over.โ
The moment I said that, my breathing went haywire.
Haโฆ haaโฆ haaโฆ
Even though I was inhaling, the air felt completely insufficient. My throat wheezed, wheezed, and the sound of my own breathing was loud and terrifying. Deep inside my chest, it hurt like it was being crushed.
My fingertips trembled, and I grabbed my hair roughly.
โWhat is thisโฆ What is thisโฆ?โ
The words on the screen burned into the back of my eyes, refusing to fade.
Acting all pure and innocent
But totally messed up inside
Fucking bitch
Round and round and round, the same words spun endlessly in my head.
โWas Iโฆ really this kind of personโฆ?โ
My mouth moved on its own. I couldn’t stop it.
โWas Iโฆ such a piece of trashโฆ? Was I the only one who didn’t realizeโฆ?โ
My heart pounded wildly, thump, thump, thump, while my hands and feet grew colder and colder.
โI tried so hardโฆโ
Haaah, haaah
โI tried to be goodโฆ to not be hatedโฆ I was always careful, smiling, reading the roomโฆโ
Even though I can’t catch my breath, words just keep spilling out.
โWas all of thatโฆ pointlessโฆ? Meaninglessโฆ? So in the end, just because of that one thing, this is who I am to everyoneโฆ?โ
My vision blurs, the light from my phone becoming hazy. But I can’t look away. If I do, it feels like I’ll be admitting everything.
โI can’tโฆ I can’t do this anymoreโฆโ
My shoulders shook violently. My own body felt like it wasn’t mine, refusing to obey.
โWhat happens when I walk into classโฆ? Everyone will look at me with those familiar facesโฆ? Not whispering anymore, but openlyโฆโ
Just imagining it made my throat tighten.
โI can’t smile normally anymoreโฆ I can’t meet anyone’s eyesโฆ Wherever I go, they’ll think โthat girlโโฆโ
Haah, huu, huuuโฆ
I couldn’t tell if it was tears or sweat, but they kept falling, one after another.
โI want to disappearโฆ I want to disappearโฆ I want to vanish from this situationโฆโ
My voice was a mess, and even I couldn’t understand what I was saying.
โWhat should I have doneโฆ? Should I not have done that back thenโฆ? But I was desperate back thenโฆโ
It felt like even my past self had been completely rejected.
โI can’t take it anymoreโฆ I hate myself the mostโฆโ
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Despair. Resignation. Regret.
My chest turned pitch black.
โI can’t do this anymore, I can’t go to schoolโฆโ
โYou don’t have to go.โ
Mitsuri said it immediately. Without a second’s hesitation.
โIt’d be weird to go normally when this is all over everyone.โ
Her words affirmed my desire to escape, and deep inside, I felt myself slowly relax. I felt pathetic for feeling relieved, yet I clung to that relief.
โBut if I stay like thisโฆโ
โChiya, you don’t have to think about anything.โ
Her voice was gentle, yet strong.
โI’ll handle everything outside.โ
The moment I heard those words, I felt scared, yet incredibly relieved at the same time.
Somewhere deep down, I truly believed it.
I wouldn’t have to think for myself anymore.
I wouldn’t have to see anything hurtful anymore.
โI think the teacher will probably find out too, and some in the class already believe it completely.
So Chiya’s place here is practically gone, and I think your friends are drifting away too.
If anyone comes to talk, it’ll probably be when the boys start looking at you weird.
It’s better if you don’t talk to anyone.โ
With each piece of reality laid bare, something inside my chest snapped and cracked.
I really am finished.
โBut I’m on Chiyo’s side.โ
Those words alone felt like a life preserver floating in dark water.
I couldn’t think straight anymore.
School was impossible, my phone was scary, I didn’t want to go outside.
But I found myself genuinely starting to believe that if Mitsuri was there, I’d be okay.
โโฆMitsuri, stay with me.โ
Before I knew it, the words were out. I’d never clung to anyone like this before.
โI’ll be here.โ
Her answer was immediate.
โI’ll always answer your texts and calls, and if you need me, I’ll come every day.โ
The moment I heard those words, a warmth spread deep within my chest, and at the same time, it tightened painfully.
I might not be able to go on without her anymore.
Thinking that, a sense of relief overwhelmed me before fear or despair could take hold.
I gripped the sleeve of her clothes tightly. Letting go felt like I’d be alone again.
In a world where everything outside seemed like an enemy, she alone had become the place I could run to.
โChiya-chan, you’re so cute, getting upset over a fake image like this. Does this mean I’m your number one now? I mean, I’m thinking about you this much, right?
From now on, you don’t have to think about anything. Human relationships are exhausting, aren’t they? I’ll handle everything for you.โ
Maiasa