Episode 13 – Alone

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The Salty Princess Told Me That I Was a ‘Convenient Keep’, so I Tested What Would Happen if I Introduced the Most Beautiful Girl at Another School as My Girlfriend

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Sakaki Saori was …… just enduring.

For a while, the train swayed without expression and came to the top floor of the apartment near the station, Saori quietly opened the door as usual and fell into bed in her room without even turning on the lights.

“…..Ha, I’m tired.”

I didn’t want to move. I think I should at least change my clothes, but my body …… no, my mind is too heavy to move. My chest hurts so much that I feel like it will fall apart if I’m not careful. So, for the life of me, I can’t bring myself to get up.

“I feel like an …… idiot.”

I was hoping for a little bit more. If I went to deliver the phone cover, he would take me home, and then we could …… make up. I was hoping that …… would be something like that stupid.

But in fact, Ochiha was giving a girl I didn’t know a home, and I wasn’t invited. She was wearing such thin clothes, and she looked so friendly and arm in arm, so I guess she was not just a friend …….

“I was just …… glad he sent me home.”

I didn’t really feel that way, but I felt terribly sorry for myself if I didn’t force myself to believe that.

“I know …… it’s my fault. It’s my fault.”

The day that Miwa Kozaburo called Saori, he asked her in the classroom after school

“Saori really likes him, doesn’t she?”

Miwa’s tone was somewhat accusatory. Ever since he found out that Saori and Ochiha were dating, he had repeatedly advised her to break up with him. But Saori kept refusing all of them.

So, she thought that the call that day would be the usual thing and complied, but that day Miwa was much more emotional than usual.

“So, I ……”

So Saori shook her head. She said the same words as usual, that she was dating him, but that she did not have any favors for him.

Saori didn’t want to rely on anyone. After the incident with her mother, Saori had decided to reject other people and live on her own. Miwa was the only person she could call a friend, but that did not mean she allowed him

Miwa was always kind to Saori, even though she had such an attitude toward Ochiha. He never did anything that she didn’t like. He was a little like Ochiha in that …… way.

She realize now that their roots are completely different, but that doesn’t mean anything anymore.

“I …… was laughing.”

Remembering Ochiha’s words, Saori puts her hand on her cheek.

She was not aware of it until Ochiba pointed it out to her. …… Or maybe she just didn’t want to admit it. When Miwa asked about her relationship with Ochiha, Saori looked back at her memories of him.

Because of her cold attitude, she had never been able to go on a good date with him. They never even held hands……But that doesn’t mean nothing happened.

When Saori realized this, she unconsciously …… laughed. Saori laughed in front of Miwa, thinking about Ochiha

But since Saori didn’t say anything, Ochiha couldn’t possibly know that. And, oddly enough, it was a smile that Miwa had never seen before either, which is why he blamed Ochiha so strongly. Because he wanted to let Ochiha know that he was better even though he lied

“….. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

Saori didn’t even realize she was laughing in the first place. Even if it was pointed out, she didn’t want to admit it. Because she has to live alone. However, she didn’t want to admit that she was being pleased by the fact that she was being with such a wild-looking blonde man.

“A convenient keep, huh?”

So she used those strong words. He had forgiven her before and would not be offended by that kind of language again. …… she thought so. As he looks, or as he stands in class, he likes to be flashy and doesn’t care about the little things. she thought he was that kind of person.

“But …… I was wrong.”

The real him was sensitive, kind, and vulnerable, as if he was being chased by something all the time. And like herself, he never tried to rely on others. He seemed to get along well with his classmates, but upon closer inspection, he drew a line in the sand.

That smile of his must be his armor to protect himself. Just as Saori had protected herself with her cold attitude, Ochiha had protected himself with that smile.

“If only I had realized it earlier,…….”

Use him to keep troublesome men away. she was proud of herself, thinking that she was a woman who could do such dexterous things. she had the misunderstanding that Ochiha was a strong person who wouldn’t get hurt even if something like that happened

The result is the pathetic state she is in now.

“I thought that guy wanted to touch me or something. ……”

It was probably the kind of desire that other boys had towards…well, he probably had something like that too. But in his words, she could see that he wanted Saori to acknowledge him.

He wanted her to approve of him enough to allow him to touch her. He just wanted Saori to like him. His words, which she had passed off as the words and actions of a lightweight man, were all his own pure form of favoritism.

“At …… least at the end, I wanted him to …… hug me, even if it was a lie.”

Even though she thinks there is no way such a thing can happen, words like that just keep pouring out. Saori closes her eyes and recalls the past as if trying to escape.

　
Last year, when she was still a freshman, she happened to be sitting next to him. He was bright and boisterous, just like now, but he didn’t force her to talk to him.

…But there was one time when he forgot his textbook and Saori lent it to him. she thought it would be a pain to sit at desks and look at the same textbook, but he was taking the class seriously, so she thought it was okay. After the class was over, he said, “Thank you, Sakaki-san, you’re so kind.”

　
……she doesn’t know why. It’s nothing special, just an ordinary word. But because of those words, Saori may have accepted Ochiha’s confession.

“I’ve been on a lot of different dates. ……”

She also doesn’t like dates that look like dates. they have never even held hands. …But when she looks back on it, it’s strange how much fun it was…

“No, that’s not it. ……”

That’s the same thing that he said earlier. From Saori’s perspective, it may have been a happy memory, but from Ochiha’s perspective, it was just a painful memory of being rejected by Saori. …If she was to say in front of him that she enjoyed it, he would probably get angry again.

“……huh, Why …..”

Suddenly, tears filled her eyes. she doesn’t really understand what’s going on either. However, she just can’t stop crying…

“I-I’m sorry,…..I …… am ……!”

　
I wanted to be able to live alone. I didn’t want to entrust my heart to others. I don’t rely on anyone, and there are fake people. I wanted to live in such a quiet world.

…… but now I miss his voice. I want him to touch me, just a little. I wanted to …… touch him. But by now, Ochiha is probably eating ice cream with that girl from earlier, or …… doing something more and different.

I can’t stop …… crying because of the pain in my chest when I think about it.

He told me over and over again that he loved me. If I had received his favors even once, I am sure he would still be next to me. He would have smiled at me the same way he always does while we eat ice cream together. ……

I made mistakes, mistakes, mistakes, and now I realize that I was wrong.

“I was never …… strong enough to live …… alone.”

I just wanted to meet you. I wanted to hug his back and tell him not to go. …But there’s no way I can do that now. So I, alone in a silent room, can only shed tears.

“….Sorry”

The small cry never reached him, and Saori’s regret was absorbed into the darkness of the night and vanished.

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“I’m home.”

I didn’t know what Koga-san liked, so I just bought a lot of desserts and ice cream that I saw, and came home.

Aside from the continuing massage ……, there are a few things I need to talk to Koga-san about. I’m not dating Koga san….., so it would just be too depressing to suddenly talk about my ex-girlfriend.

But the other day, I showed Koga-san how pathetic I was. I’m sure Koga-san must be wondering what happened to me. I was crying pathetically……, and Koga-san promised to do something fun from now on. If so, I should at least tell her what happened to me.

With that in mind, I came home. ……

“Koga-san, you’re sleeping. ……”

Koga-san was asleep on the sofa.

“You’re too defenseless,…….”

I’m sure he has no idea that I’m going to do anything strange. Such a defenseless, secure sleeping face.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I felt sorry for her if I woke her up now. I walked slowly so as not to make a sound with my footsteps and got a blanket from my room. And then I put it on Koga. In fact,……, it might be better to carry her to bed rather than sleep on the couch, but that’s a problem when it comes to my bed.

“I guess …… I’ll go to bed too.”

It would be pitiful to leave Koga-san alone in this room.
After changing into comfortable clothes in my room, I lie down on the sofa a little away from Koga-san and wrap myself in a blanket. Koga-san is also asleep, so I guess I can take a bath tomorrow.

“I wondered if she made it home okay, Sakaki-san.”

I was a little worried, but that was no longer my concern. Unlike me, she is a strong person who can live on her own without anyone’s approval. There is no need for me to worry.

“…… go to sleep.”

I must have been tired without realizing it. I turned off the light in my room, and a strong feeling of sleepiness came over me. I didn’t try to fight it and quietly closed my eyes.
　

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-Maiban

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