The Schoolโs Top Idol Is Acting Like Sheโs My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Ownโฆ?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
Since I ended up walking home with Hoshimiya for part of the way, I chose routes with as little foot traffic as possible, keeping the famous idol by my side.
I avoided the main street in front of the station. I avoided the shopping district. I even avoided the convenience store where students heading home from school were likely to gather. As a result, we ended up weaving our way through the narrow streets of a residential neighborhood.
It was a route I wouldnโt have had to worry about if Iโd been alone.
But the person next to me was Hoshimiya Rino.
If we were seen even for a moment, it would start with โHey, isnโt that Hoshimiya?โ and, in the worst-case scenario, my existence would be exposed along with hers. If that happened, my peaceful high school life would be completely over.
Whether she knew of my caution or not, Hoshimiya walked with a look of relief on her face.
Her expression was so calm, it was hard to believe she had been crying at the school entrance just moments ago. Yet, a slight redness still lingered around her eyes. Every time the evening light cast a faint glow on it, a sense of guilt returned deep within my chest.
I took it out on her.
That fact wonโt go away.
Hoshimiya is walking beside me.
Not too close, not too far. We arenโt touching, but itโs close enough that if I reached out a little, I could touch her sleeve. Sheโs probably holding back in her own way. She isnโt grabbing my arm or tugging at my sleeve like she usually does.
That, on the contrary, made me feel strangely uneasy.
I recall what happened during lunch break.
In the corner of the storage room, Hoshimiya and I talked about I Donโt Need Youth. At first, I was on guard. I figured the conversation would inevitably veer into heavy territoryโtalking about childhood friends or wanting to be by each otherโs side.
And indeed, it did.
It veered quite a bit.
Still, for as long as we were talking about the show, it was surprisingly easygoing.
I didnโt have to wear my public mask.
I didnโt have to laugh just to match her energy. We talked about our favorite characters, our favorite scenes, and got a little heated over differences in interpretation. That kind of conversation was more comfortable than Iโd expected.
Putting on a mask is easy.
Hiding your true feelings and going along with the other personโs vibe. To avoid causing a stir, you laugh when youโre supposed to laugh and stay silent when youโre supposed to stay silent. If thatโs all it takes, I can do it too.
But itโs exhausting.
Keeping up a persona that isnโt me takes more energy than I ever imagined.
Hoshimiya might know a way to manage that exhaustion.
Sheโs a performer.
Sheโs used to laughing as Hoshimiya Rino and showing the side of herself that people expect. If thatโs the case, maybe she knows how to wear a mask without breaking.
I almost asked her that, but I swallowed my words.
What good would it do to ask?
Even if I asked, it would only put Hoshimiya in an awkward position. If I overstepped, I might end up hurting her again. Iโm just too bad at not dumping my own problems on other people.
โHey, Seita.โ
It was Hoshimiya who spoke first.
โWhatโs wrong?โ
โYou know, I have fun when Iโm with you, Seita.โ
โโฆThank you for that. Iโm happy to hear it, even if itโs just a compliment.โ
I answered, looking away.
The words were too close for me to take them at face value.
But Hoshimiya stopped walking.
I stopped a moment later. When I turned around, she had deliberately moved to stand right where my gaze was fixed. It was a move that conveyed her determination not to let me get away.
โItโs not a compliment.โ
Hoshimiya looked straight at me.
โI really do feel at ease when Iโm next to you, Seita.โ
Her voice seemed to carry the lingering traces of her earlier tears, yet it was strangely strong.
Hoshimiya took a step closer.
She was close.
The scent of her hair mingled with the spring evening air. I reflexively started to step back, but noticing the lingering redness around her eyes, I stopped.
โItโs because Seita doesnโt see me as Hoshimiya Rino.โ
โWellโฆโ
โAnd when I talk about the things I like, you actually look genuinely happy for me.โ
Hoshimiya smiled slightly.
โI like that look on your face.โ
My heart skipped a beat.
This person really has a strange way with words.
โYou really shouldnโt say things like that. People might misunderstand.โ
โAnd if they donโt misunderstand?โ
โThat would be even more troublesome.โ
Hoshimiya chuckled softly.
It seemed her spirits had lifted enough for her to find it funny. I felt a little relieved and started walking again.
From there on, we talked about harmless topics.
The anime Iโve been watching lately. The latest volume of I Donโt Need Youth. We talked about card games. Hoshimiya knew almost nothing about card games, but she listened with interest.
โYou build your own deck, right?โ
โThatโs right. Itโs not just about putting in the strongest cards; you have to think about roles and how they work together.โ
โRoles.โ
โCards that disrupt, cards that set up plays, cards that counter your opponentโs moves. Itโs like the characters in a story. You canโt win with just flashy cards.โ
โWhat about you, Seita?โ
โHuh?โ
โIf you were a card, what role would you play?โ
I was at a loss for words.
It was supposed to be a casual question, but it struck a strange chord.
My role.
Iโd never even thought about such a thing.
โโฆProbably a card that just rots in my hand without ever seeing the field.โ
โIโll use a card like that.โ
โItโs weak.โ
โItโs fine because Iโll make it strong.โ
Hoshimiya said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
My chest tightened just a little.
I didnโt know if she was joking or serious. But whenever I said something dismissive about myself, Hoshimiya would always try to pick up on it. To the point of being a hassle.
Eventually, we reached a fork in the road.
From here on, the direction to my house and the direction Hoshimiya was heading diverged.
โWell, Iโm going this way.โ
I stopped and pointed down the road.
Hoshimiya stopped too.
The softness from her expression just a moment ago faded slightly. Her smile remained, but her eyes looked as if theyโd been left behind.
It was a bit too heavy to call it simply reluctance to part.
It was as if she thought that if I turned the corner here, I would never come back.
Seeing that look, I searched for the right words.
But Hoshimiya spoke first.
โSeita.โ
โYes?โ
โLetโs exchange LINE IDs.โ
โHuh?โ
โItโs fine. Itโs not like itโs going to hurt.โ
Saying that, Hoshimiya pulled her smartphone out of her pocket.
I froze for just a moment.
LINE.
My contacts list consists of only a handful of friends and family, plus a few official corporate accounts. Now, Hoshimiyaโs name was about to be added to that list. Objectively speaking, in a romance comedy, this would be a pretty intense moment. Exchanging contact info with a beautiful girl. Itโs a classic story tropeโthe kind that has the protagonist tossing and turning in bed later on.
But in reality, I had to be cautious.
Sheโs a famous idol.
I was worried about whether it was wise to connect with her so carelessly. But at the same time, I felt that rejecting her here after making her cry at the entrance would be pretty unkind.
After some hesitation, I opened the LINE app.
โโฆOkay.โ
I displayed the QR code to add her as a friend.
Hoshimiya scanned it.
A notification popped up immediately.
Hoshimiya Rino.
Her profile picture was a photo of the sky.
It wasnโt the kind of selfie youโd expect from a celebrity. Just a pale sunset and a slender crescent moon. It was a bit unexpected.
โI added you.โ
โOkay.โ
Immediately after, my phone vibrated.
โNice to meet you, Seita.โ
Even though she was right in front of me.
I didnโt understand why sheโd go out of her way to send that.
When I looked up, Hoshimiya was smiling with a hint of pride.
โI wanted to save that first message.โ
โSave it?โ
โYeah. My very first LINE with you, Seita.โ
It was a light-hearted remark, yet it carried a heavy weight.
As I struggled to find a reply, Hoshimiya held her phone close to her chest.
โWhen youโre free, Iโd like you to send me a message. Iโll send you one too.โ
โI donโt really use LINE much.โ
โYeah. But even so, I want a message from you, Seita.โ
Hoshimiya met my gaze as she spoke.
It was a way of saying it that left me no room to escape.
It wasnโt a demand. But I knew that if I refused, the sadness would return to her eyes. I had already become attuned to that change.
โโฆIโll do my best.โ
โOkay.โ
Hoshimiya smiled happily.
I felt like there was still a faint trace of her earlier tears lingering in that smile. Thatโs why I couldnโt bring myself to say anything more forcefully.
โSee you tomorrow, then.โ
โYes. See you tomorrow.โ
Hoshimiya took a few steps before turning back just once.
When she realized I was still watching, she waved her hand slightly, as if relieved.
I watched her back until she disappeared from view.
Then, I started walking toward my home.
Hoshimiya Rinoโs name was still saved in my phone.
Even though that was all there was to it, I felt as if a place for her had already been carved out in my daily life.
โปใโปใโป
Saturday.
I was heading to the card shop in front of the station.
It was a weekend afternoon. The shopping district was fairly crowded, with students in casual clothes instead of uniforms and families strolling about. Just the fact that school was out made the atmosphere feel much lighter.
My goal for today was clear.
To gather the cards I needed for my deck.
The meta has been shifting rapidly lately. If I want to compete against the popular decks, adding that card might be a good move. But thereโs only so much room in the deck. What to cut, and what to add? Those kinds of fine-tuning adjustments are both the difficulty and the fun of card games.
When I entered the shop, there was a unique atmosphere.
The sound of sleeves rubbing against each other. Laughter coming from the play tables. Fluorescent lights reflecting off the glass of the display cases. Packs and storage boxes lining the walls. For me, itโs a pretty soothing space.
I stood in front of the display case, searching for the card I wanted.
One card, 1,500 yen.
I couldnโt help but let out a sigh.
Itโs expensive.
No, maybe itโs reasonable when you consider its power. Cards used in the current meta see higher demand. When demand goes up, so does the price. I get it. I get it, but for a high school student living on a 5,000-yen monthly allowance, 1,500 yen is a heavy burden.
Every card has a role.
Cards that stop your opponentโs moves.
Cards that support your own strategy.
Cards that turn a disadvantageous situation around.
Even if they seem unremarkable at first glance, some can decide the outcome of a match if drawn at the right moment.
Characters in stories are probably much the same.
A story doesnโt move forward with just the protagonist. Supporting characters have their own roles. Even background characters have a role in setting the scene.
So, what do I have in real life?
For me, whoโs still haunted by my middle school trauma, canโt let go of the mask I wear in public, and finds comfort in being alone.
Just as I was thinking about that, my phone vibrated.
I thought it was a notification from an official account.
But the name displayed on the screen was different.
Hoshimiya Rino.
โAre you at the card shop right now?โ
I froze.
How did she know?
No, I do recall mentioning in our last conversation that I was going to the card shop on Saturday. That said, I didnโt specify the time. She couldnโt possibly have been watching me, could she? She probably just happened to remember and sent me a message.
Probably.
โYes.โ
I replied briefly.
It was marked as read immediately.
That was fast.
Too fast.
โThat sounds nice.โ
โIโd like to go sometime, too.โ
Hoshimiya and a card shop.
The combination just doesnโt seem to fit.
Hoshimiya Rino belongs more on magazine covers or under TV lights than among single cards lined up in glass cases. I canโt quite picture her picking out card sleeves or rummaging through storage boxes, no matter how hard I try.
But I couldnโt help but think it for a moment.
Someday.
If the day ever comes when I actually go to a card shop with Hoshimiya, what will I be like?
Will I be able to talk to her normally enough to show her around a place I like? Will I be able to stand next to her without putting on some weird facade? Will I have managed to lighten the burden Iโve been carrying since middle school, even just a little?
I couldnโt come up with an answer.
There was no way I could.
I stared down at my phone and typed a reply.
โI donโt think itโs really the kind of place Hoshimiya-san would like.โ
It was marked as read almost immediately.
โItโs perfect if Seitaโs there.โ
I wanted to close my phone.
Itโs heavy.
Just the text alone feels heavy.
And the fact that Iโm just a tiny bit happy about it is the worst part. I didnโt know how to reply, so I stared at the screen for a while. Then another message arrived.
โDo you think you can pick out the cards properly?โ
โIs your budget okay?โ
โAre you pushing yourself too hard?โ
Like a mother.
No, maybe even more nitpicky than a mother.
I let out a small sigh and replied.
โIโm fine. Iโll think it through and buy them carefully.โ
โSeita, youโre so responsible.โ
Stop it.
Donโt praise me.
Who could have imagined a high school life where a top idol sends you a message saying โGood jobโ while youโre standing in front of a card shop display case?
I put my phone back in my pocket and looked at the display case again.
I know exactly which cards I need right now.
I also have a pretty good idea of which cards I should buy to fill the gaps in my deck.
But I still donโt know what kind of relationships I need right now.
The comfort of being alone.
The ease of being with Hoshimiya.
My confusion over the weight of her presence.
I still havenโt been able to sort those things out in my mind.
There was just one thing I knew, whether I liked it or not.
Hoshimiya Rino is no longer on the outside of my high school life.
She stepped into my daily life a long time ago.
And she hadnโt even bothered to take off her shoes.
My phone vibrated again.
I looked at the screen hesitantly.
โShow me the cards you bought later.โ
Then, another message followed.
โI want to remember the things you like, Seita.โ
I stared at the screen, unable to move for a moment.
At the battle tables in the card shop, someone was laughing happily.
Listening to that laughter, I exhaled slowly. Rino Hoshimiya is trying to remember the things I like. Sheโs slowly naming the things that used to be my refuge, and slowly getting closer to me.
Itโs scary.
Itโs a hassle.
But I donโt completely hate it.
That fact was the most troublesome thing for me right now.
Maigetsu