The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
Hoshimiya and I went into a café to read the latest volume of I Don’t Need Youth.
The place was fairly crowded, as you’d expect on a holiday. Midday sunlight streamed in through the windows. The aroma of coffee filled the air. Jazz-like background music played softly in the background. Behind the order counter, a staff member was efficiently lining up cups.
Hoshimiya glanced around the café once and chose a table in the corner.
It was by the wall, slightly out of sight from the entrance. Even though she was wearing fashion glasses, I couldn’t say for certain that no one would recognize her as Hoshimiya Rino. In that sense, it was the right choice.
We placed our orders and sat down.
Hoshimiya ordered a café latte. I ordered iced coffee.
While we waited for our drinks to arrive, we took the latest volume of I Don’t Need Youth out of the paper bag.
The heroine on the cover was smiling, yet she looked somewhat lonely. It didn’t have the usual lighthearted romantic comedy vibe; this volume seemed to lean a little more toward the serious side. The promotional blurb on the dust jacket was also strangely cryptic.
“So, shall we read?”
“Sure.”
“No spoilers, okay?”
“We’re reading it at the same time, so there’s no way to spoil anything.”
Hoshimiya chuckled softly and opened the book.
I followed suit.
As soon as I started reading, I was immediately drawn into the world of the story.
As expected, this story was a bit heavy. The misunderstandings that arise precisely because the protagonist and heroine have grown closer. The true feelings hidden behind their cheerful conversations. The plot twists where emotions they thought would be understood without words fail to reach their destination because they weren’t spoken.
Still, it’s not just heavy.
It’s bittersweet.
They’re hopelessly clumsy, taking such roundabout paths that it makes the reader chuckle a little, yet they still manage to tug at your heartstrings.
“I Don’t Need Youth” really excels at the banter between the characters.
Plots that seem like they could happen in real life, yet probably wouldn’t. It strikes that perfect balance through light dialogue and subtle psychological descriptions. Even though it’s improbable, it makes you wish it could happen somewhere. That balance is truly masterful.
I read on in silence.
Hoshimiya, sitting next to me, kept changing her expression.
One moment she’d lower her eyebrows in a pained look, and the next page she’d break into a happy smile. Occasionally, she’d press her lips together as if enduring something. Probably a line had really hit her hard.
I found myself glancing at her profile several times.
Hoshimiya was beautiful even before she started reading the story.
But more than beautiful, she was sincere.
Usually, she’s good at maintaining her image as an idol. Whether at school or the mall, she’d naturally flash a smile whenever she felt eyes on her. But now it was different. Her own expressions were fluctuating in sync with the emotions on the page.
I envied that just a little.
I’m probably not very good at letting my emotions show like that.
Before I knew it, I’d finished reading all the way to the last page.
The conclusion of the latest volume was brilliant.
It seemed resolved, yet something still lingered. Amid the sweet aftertaste, a sense of foreboding about the next volume was mixed in. It was the kind of ending where, even after closing the book, the atmosphere of the story lingered on my fingertips.
After all, romantic comedies in stories are like dreams.
Reading them makes me feel hopeful.
Maybe reality could change just a little bit, too. It gives me that convenient illusion. It felt as if it had gently put a lid on the confusion that had been swirling in my chest just moments ago.
And, sure enough.
“‘Rom-coms are the only way to go, after all.’”
Our voices overlapped.
It was just like that day.
Hoshimiya and I looked up almost simultaneously.
For a split second, our eyes met.
Hoshimiya’s eyes widened.
Then, she gave a soft laugh.
“We were on the same page again.”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t this just fate?”
“We just happened to have the same reaction.”
“Seita, you’re always trying to bring us back to reality.”
“Because this is reality.”
“But you were a little happy, weren’t you?”
I tried to deny it, but the words caught in my throat.
Hoshimiya saw that and smiled, looking slightly smug.
Just then, the server brought our drinks. An iced coffee in front of me. A café latte in front of Hoshimiya. The cups were placed down, and our little discussion session was finally set up on the table.
From there, we talked about the show for a while.
Which scenes were good?
Which lines really hit home?
What was the reason the heroine hid her true feelings there?
Did the protagonist realize it, or was he just pretending not to?
The skillful direction, the timing, the pace of the dialogue.
Before I knew it, I had been talking quite a bit.
Hoshimiya seemed to be enjoying herself too. Holding her café latte cup with both hands, she would occasionally lean forward. Her eyes sparkled behind her fashion glasses. It was a different expression from the worried look she’d had just a moment ago—it was the face of someone talking about a work she genuinely loved.
For that time alone, I didn’t have to wear my public mask.
I didn’t have to think about what was the right thing to say.
If I talked about the work, Hoshimiya would listen properly. She wouldn’t make fun of it or pretend to understand; she’d respond with the same enthusiasm.
That was a relief.
About ten minutes later, my phone vibrated.
I looked down at the screen, which I’d left on the table.
It was from Kyosuke.
“Got something on your mind? If you want to talk, I’m here.”
It was a short message.
But it brought a warmth that made the tightness in my chest ease just a little.
Kyosuke is a good guy.
All my friends were good guys.
That’s exactly why I couldn’t bring myself to accept their kindness. The me who smiled in front of them was always wearing a mask of some sort. I didn’t want to worry them. I didn’t want to show them my dark side. That’s how I’d drawn a line all on my own.
But was that really for their sake?
Or was I just afraid of being rejected if I showed them the real me?
I stared at my phone screen, unable to type a reply.
Before I knew it, Hoshimiya was peering at my face.
“From that friend from earlier?”
“Ah… yeah. he asked if I was worried about something.”
“I see.”
Hoshimiya said quietly.
There was none of her usual teasing tone in her voice.
“What do you want to do? Should we go look for them now?”
I stayed silent.
Would talking about it make me feel better?
Or would the awkwardness just make it even harder?
The awkwardness would probably come.
It was surely unavoidable.
But maybe that awkwardness would be temporary. What might remain is the fact that I was able to talk about it.
Deep inside my heart, there’s a sludge-like mass of emotions.
Anger toward the past.
Disappointment in myself.
Fear of being left behind.
If I directed those feelings at someone, I have no idea how they’d respond. There’s no guarantee they’d accept them.
But if I keep running away, I’ll stay stuck in the same place forever.
After reading Kyosuke’s message, that’s what I found myself thinking.
“Talk”
Her voice was soft.
“If I don’t say at least a little something, I’ll probably regret it.”
Hoshimiya looked at me.
After a few seconds of silence, she nodded gently.
“I see.”
Then she lowered her gaze slightly.
“What should I do? Should I wait outside?”
I was a little surprised by her words.
I’d assumed Hoshimiya would naturally follow me. Since we’re childhood friends, she’d probably say something like, “I’ll stay by your side.”
But she let me choose.
She actually asked me if it was okay for her to join me where I was talking to someone.
I was grateful for that consideration right now.
“No.”
I gripped my phone tighter.
“I’d be happy if you stayed with me.”
Hoshimiya’s eyes flickered slightly.
Then, she let a small smile touch her lips.
“Okay. I understand.”
Her voice sounded happy.
But I could tell she was holding back, trying not to let her joy show too much.
I typed a reply to Kyosuke.
“I’m heading back to where we were earlier. I need to talk to you.”
I pressed the send button.
Just doing that made my heart feel a little heavy.
I really did a terrible thing to Kyosuke.
I tried to run away without telling him the truth. In front of a friend who was worried about me, I turned my back without being able to put on or take off my mask.
So this time, I won’t run away.
I felt that if I ran away, I’d just end up repeating the same thing all over again.
Hoshimiya and I left the café.
As we stepped outside, the buzz of the shopping mall came flooding back. There were more people than before, and a holiday-like cheerfulness filled the air. I walked through it, feeling a little nervous.
Hoshimiya was right beside me.
She didn’t say a word.
She just matched my pace.
Partway there, her fingertips brushed against my sleeve. It wasn’t so much a grasp as a small touch meant to let me know she was there. I didn’t brush it away.
When we returned to where we’d been, Kyosuke was sitting on a bench.
There was no sign of our other friends.
As soon as Kyosuke spotted me, he stood up.
His expression was serious, yet he also looked slightly relieved.
“Kyosuke…”
“Oh, you’re here.”
Kyosuke gave a light laugh.
It was his usual, characteristic laugh.
Seeing that smile, I felt a slight twinge of pain deep in my chest.
“This isn’t the place for this, so let’s find somewhere else.”
Saying that, Kyosuke glanced around.
The front of a busy bookstore wasn’t the right place for a serious conversation. I had no choice but to nod.
What begins here might be a story where the chains of my teenage insecurities loosen just a little.
Or perhaps, far from loosening, they might tighten even further.
No one knows for sure.
But Hoshimiya was right beside me.
She was gripping my sleeve.
A little tighter than before.
As if to make sure I didn’t run away again.
No, it wasn’t just that.
Probably, she was a little scared herself.
That I was going to tell someone about my past.
That there was a time within me that Hoshimiya didn’t know about.
That Kyosuke was about to hear it.
Hoshimiya didn’t say a word.
But the fingertips gripping my sleeve spoke volumes about her feelings.
It felt heavy.
It felt like a hassle.
But right now, that weight served as a small source of support.
I took a deep breath as if shedding a mask and looked Kyosuke straight in the eye.
“I understand.”
With a serious expression, I nodded.
Maigetsu