The Love of My Childhood Friend, Who Has Overcome a Terminally Ill Diagnosis, Is Overwhelming
After leaving school, I headed for the station.
My test went completely wrong. This had never happened to me before.
…Those unpleasant memories kept coming back to haunt me over and over again.
“…It’s been a while, Kanade.”
Back in elementary school, Kanade was very popular.
She was beautiful, cheerful, kind… she was such a perfect girl that no one could even feel jealous of her.
However, from a certain day onward, Kanade began to be treated as if she weren’t even there in the classroom.
It wasn’t because she was being bullied.
It was because she… had fallen ill with a serious disease so severe that she was given a terminal diagnosis.
My mother took me to her hospital room.
Kanade, whom I hadn’t seen in months, looked…
Kanade skipped school today.
On the day of the test—even though just the day before, she had been so full of energy, studying hard to compete with me on the test.
…I do have some thoughts about the fact that her efforts weren’t rewarded.
Part of me thinks there’s no way a god who only makes her suffer like this could actually exist.
But amidst the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me, the one thing… I’m thinking about right now.
“…You won’t die, will you, Kanade?”
She once came close to death.
She once nearly lost everything—her beauty, her cheerful personality, even her life—to a serious illness that couldn’t be treated in this country.
Fortunately, she is still alive and well today.
But… this is her first sick day since we reunited.
…There was no way the memory of parting with her—something I had once thought I’d never have to face again—could stay out of my mind.
Because of that, I couldn’t focus on my test at all.
And I couldn’t sit still any longer.
So I… boarded a train and headed for her house.
Having just returned from France, her home is in a different location than before.
I had heard the address from Kanade herself some time ago.
“Come visit sometime.”
She said that and smiled at me when she gave me the address.
But… until yesterday, we’d only ever hung out at my place; we’d never once stopped by her home.
So… now, I’m feeling a little regret.
“To think I’d be visiting her new place for the first time under these circumstances…”
To be honest, I’d have preferred to mark the occasion a little more peacefully. Thinking that, I felt a twinge of pain deep in my chest.
I got off the train two stops before the one nearest my home.
I exited the ticket gate of a station I knew only by name and walked through a station plaza I’d never seen before… heading toward a quiet residential neighborhood.
“Is this the place?”
Kanade’s new home was a high-rise apartment building.
Feeling a bit intimidated, I walked through the grand entrance and entered her room number on the automatic lock.
After a few rings…
“Hello?”
A woman’s voice came from inside.
“Um…”
It wasn’t Kanade’s voice, so I hesitantly spoke up.
“Is that you, Akkun?”
“Huh? Oh, yes.”
“Oh my, you’ve grown so much. It’s me, it’s me. Kanade’s mom.”
“Oh, it was you, ma’am.”
I hadn’t recognized her at all over the intercom.
“Did you come to visit Kanade?”
A visit.
I hated that word.
“…Yes.”
“I see. Thank you. …I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
My heart fluttered.
“Oh, no, no. Actually, I’d love to talk to you for a while, but unfortunately, I have to go to work now. So I have to hang up right away.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Yeah. So, let’s celebrate our long-awaited reunion properly next time. My kid won’t let you come over to our place at all.”
“……Haha.”
“Probably because the house she used to live in is gone. She misses your house, which is still there and where she used to play so often.”
……I see. So that’s why Kanade used to come over to my place.
“Oh, sorry. I got a little sentimental there. I’ll open the door for you.”
“Oh, please do.”
As the automatic door opened, I stepped into the elevator.
I got off on the third floor… and arrived at the room Kanade had given me the number for. I rang the doorbell.
“Coming!”
The door opened, and an older woman stood there smiling.
“Long time no see, A-kun.”
“It’s been a while… Auntie.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that. I really have to go now.”
“Oh, okay.”
Looking closely, I saw she was wearing a suit.
“Well then, I’m counting on you to look after my daughter.”
The moment she ushered me into the apartment, she cut across the room and headed for the entrance.
“Take your time~”
“Okay.”
The door slammed shut with a loud bang.
…In the spacious, quiet apartment, I decided to look for Kanade’s room.
The laundry room.
The bathroom.
The kitchen.
The living room.
…On a bookshelf at the far end of the living room, I found a few family photos.
A photo of the three of them laughing happily together on a camping trip in Japan.
A photo from a family trip to France… of Kanade wearing a knit cap.
……And a photo of Kanade and me together when we were kids.
I’m pretty sure this photo was taken at the neighborhood Bon Festival.
It’s a photo of Kanade snatching the yakisoba I was eating right out of my hand.
After that, I burst into tears, devastated that she’d eaten my yakisoba…
I’m sorry, Akkun. To make it up to you, I’ll stay with you forever.]
Seeing Kanade’s smile, I stopped crying right away.
……Back then, I never would have imagined that Kanade would end up like that later on.
This wasn’t the time to get sentimental.
I searched for Kanade’s room.
The next room I opened was… Kanade’s parents’ bedroom.
And finally…
“…There she was.”
Kanade’s bedroom.
She was lying on the bed, breathing peacefully in her sleep.
“…She’s alive.”
I listened to her breathing once, twice… three times. After listening over and over, I confirmed that her life was still continuing today.
…I felt the tension that had been building up inside me suddenly ease.
I wanted to curl up right there… and let tears of relief spill out, but I couldn’t.
“…I guess I’ll make some rice porridge and wait for her.”
I decided to borrow the kitchen.
While cooking with clumsy hands… I resolved to wait patiently for her to wake up.
Struggling through the cooking… I wonder how much time had passed.
Suddenly, the door to Kanade’s bedroom swung open.
“…Akkun?”
“Good morning, Kanade.”
Kanade appeared, a cooling gel pack stuck to her forehead.
She… must have been quite surprised to find me in her house, for her eyes widened in astonishment.
“Has your fever gone down?”
“…Huh? Oh, no. I still feel sluggish.”
“I see.”
I took off my apron and approached Kanade.
“……Huh?”
Anxiety flickered in Kanade’s eyes.
Her unusual reaction tickled a slight sadistic urge in me, but I managed to hold it back.
“You should get some more sleep.”
Carrying Kanade on my back, I headed toward her bedroom.
“……Akkun’s back is warm.”
“Is it?”
“……Yeah.”
I set Kanade down on the bed and touched the back of her neck. She definitely still felt a bit feverish.
“……Well, I’m going to make some rice porridge, so you should get some more sleep, okay?”
“I’m not sleepy anymore.”
“Really? Well then…… I’ll be right back.”
“……Akkun.”
“What?”
“Hurry up okay?.”
“Okay.”
I went back to the kitchen and hurriedly made some rice porridge.
“It’s ready.”
“Thanks.”
Kanade, looking frail as she sat up in bed with only her upper body raised… combined with her fragile smile, brought back those unpleasant memories from the past.
“Akkun?”
“Oh, sorry.”
I found myself freezing in front of the door, but I started walking again, trying to cover it up.
“Here you go.”
I handed her the tray, but…
“Pfft.”
Kanade turned her face away.
“Akkun.”
“Yes?”
“Feed me.”
I had no choice.
“Can you open your mouth?”
“Aah.”
“Puff. Puff.”
I fed Kanade the rice porridge.
I scooped up some porridge with a spoon, let it cool a little, and brought it to her mouth…
After repeating that a few dozen times… she finished all the porridge.
“It was delicious.”
“It’s instant.”
“But it was delicious.”
“I see.”
I stood up.
“What time is auntie coming home?”
“Probably in the evening.”
“I see. …Well, I’ll stick around until then.”
“…Huh?”
Kanade tilted her head.
“Wasn’t this porridge supposed to be dinner?”
“……”
“Come to think of it, what time is it now?”
“……”
“Akkun, what about your test?”
……Kanade had a strange look on her face.
Why do you look so sad……?
Wanting to put her at ease, I smiled.
“I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t take it.”
Actually… the moment I heard Kanade wasn’t feeling well, I felt a sudden, intense dizziness.
“…I was more worried about you than the test.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I was worried you might disappear again. When I thought about that, I couldn’t focus on the test at all.”
“I’m sorry, Akkun…”
Kanade was crying.
“It’s my fault… I ruined your dream, Akkun.”
Seeing Kanade’s tears of anguish… I smiled again.
“Are you talking about studying abroad in France?”
Kanade nodded silently.
“If that’s the case… didn’t things turn out just as you wished? Is there any need to be sad?”
“…Like this…”
Kanade’s voice was trembling.
“In a way like this. I didn’t want my wish to come true like this!”
…That was probably because she had once suffered from an illness herself.
Because she knew that illness was painful, agonizing… and a desperate thing that could easily take a life, she probably didn’t want to use it as a choice that held the fate of others in her hands.
“…Kanade, don’t get the wrong idea.”
“……”
“My dream… No, my goal—it hasn’t been cut short yet.”
“…Akkun.”
“Just because I missed first place on a single test doesn’t mean I’ve lost everything.”
“But Akkun… You were acting like you’d die if you didn’t get first place on the academic test.”
“I am ready to die. How else can I face this without that kind of resolve?”
That’s how serious I am.
“I… I never want to feel that helplessness from that day again. For that, risking my life would be easy.”
“…Then, after all…”
“But competition is a matter of luck. Of course, the worst possible outcome could be waiting for me. That’s why I won’t let a single failure get me down.”
“……”
“Even if I fail. Even if I can’t do anything… another chance will come.”
“……”
“And the one who made me realize that was none other than you, Kanade.”
A few months after starting high school.
That day, when I was reunited with Kanade in the classroom…
I’ll surely never forget everything I saw that day, at that moment.
“So, don’t worry.”
“…Akkun.”
“You didn’t take my dream away.”
“…Ugh.”
“If anything, you’re… my driving force. So, just be yourself, like always.”
“…Akkun.”
Kanade was on the verge of tears.
“Besides, you might still be able to take the test.”
I gave Kanade a smile.
“……Huh?”
“Our school has a special policy for students who are absent due to illness on the day of the test—they get a make-up exam.”
“……”
“You’ll definitely qualify for that. As for me… well, I’ve been on my best behavior lately, so if I beg them, they might let me slide. Maybe.”
“……Oh, I see.”
Kanade flopped back onto the bed.
“Phew…”
“Haha. Are you relieved?”
“I am. …I’m so relieved I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“…Now that I’m relieved, I’m getting sleepy.”
“Then go to sleep.”
“Akkun. Akkun.”
“What?”
“Will you stroke my head until I fall asleep?”
Why?
“Will you stroke my head?”
“No, why?”
“Will you stroke my head?”
“…Yeah.”
“Ehehe. Akkun’s hands are so warm…”
……W-well, I’m glad to hear that.
“Hehehe. Hehehehehe.”
For someone running a fever, Kanade seemed surprisingly energetic.
“Still, I can’t believe you’d put me before that test you were so desperate to pass.”
“……Well, I did know about the special exception.”
As for how I found out about this provision… it was because I was looking into ways to extend my study time in case I didn’t finish studying for the test in time.
To be honest, it’s a provision that’s so open to abuse, it’s a wonder it still exists.
I think it should be abolished as soon as possible.
…Well. That aside, I’ll study a lot once I get home.
“You put me before the test—you put me before the test!”
“…Are you even listening?”
“No, I’m not.”
If you’re not listening… I guess there’s nothing I can do about it?
“Hehe. Really. Seriously…”
Kanade smiled cheerfully.
“Akkun, you like me way too much!”
Maiasa