Episode 30 – I’ll always remember that


The Schoolโ€™s Top Idol Is Acting Like Sheโ€™s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Ownโ€ฆ?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~


The three hours until lunch break felt unnervingly long.

I knew exactly why.

It was because Hoshimiya had shown me some photos from her work, and Iโ€™d made a comment that sounded a bit jealousโ€”and sheโ€™d picked up on it.

During class, I pretended to be looking at the blackboard while, in my head, I put myself on trial over and over again.

Defendant: Seita Takahara.

Charge: Making the remark โ€œI didnโ€™t like it very muchโ€ regarding a photo shoot that looked like an after-school date with a top active idol.

Verdict: Sentence of โ€œYouth Complex.โ€

Sentence to be served: Reread I Donโ€™t Need Youth!! (Culture Festival Edition) from Volume 1, and every time the heroine gets jealous of the protagonist, clutch your chest and roll around on the floor.

Itโ€™s too harsh.

But itโ€™s fair.

The judge inside me banged the gavel, the prosecutor inside me sharply pointed out, โ€œThe defendant is clearly fixated on Rino Hoshimiya,โ€ and the defense attorney inside me struggled to argue, โ€œNo, this is merely a temporary episode caused by a โ€˜Youth Complex.โ€™โ€

Itโ€™s all me.

Thereโ€™s no hope.

Whatโ€™s more, Hoshimiya, sitting to my right, unaware of my inner turmoilโ€”or rather, with a look that suggests sheโ€™s probably half-guessed itโ€”glances over at me from time to time.

Every time our eyes meet, she smiles.

I wish sheโ€™d stop.

That smile gets to me.

The me of yesterday would have just thought, โ€œThe top idolโ€™s smile is so bright itโ€™s almost glitchy.โ€ But now itโ€™s different. Itโ€™s not just the brightness. Thereโ€™s heat to it, too. If I look directly at her, my heart feels like itโ€™s being roasted.

I wrote in small letters on the edge of my notebook: โ€œRomantic comedies are meant to be read. Not to be swept up in.โ€

Below that, I unconsciously started to write, โ€œBut Hoshimiya-san is cute,โ€ then hurriedly erased it.

Dangerous.

Even my right hand is starting to be consumed by Hoshimiya.

When lunch break finally arrived, I grabbed my bento and left the classroom.

I was walking faster than usual today.

Itโ€™s not like Iโ€™m waiting for Hoshimiya.

Iโ€™m just going to my home away from home.

My home away from home.

Itโ€™s the place Hoshimiya arbitrarily calls a โ€œvacation home,โ€ and lately, even Hara and Shinozaki have found out about itโ€”a place thatโ€™s becoming less of a secret base and more of a shared property.

When I arrived behind the warehouse, Hoshimiya wasnโ€™t there yet.

I sat down on a rock and opened my lunchbox.

It was quiet.

In the past, this silence would have put me at ease.

The fact that no one was there.

The fact that no one was watching me.

The fact that I didnโ€™t have to worry about anyone else.

That used to be my salvation.

But now, it feels just a little bit lacking.

The moment I realized that, I nearly dropped my chopsticks.

This is bad.

This is really bad.

My โ€œSect of Solitudeโ€โ€”where Iโ€™ve loved, worshipped, and revered only one personโ€”is being invaded by a pagan goddess named Rino Hoshimiya.

A statue of Hoshimiya has been erected in the temple of my heart without my permission.

And itโ€™s well-made.

Itโ€™s high-resolution.

Sheโ€™s smiling at me in my head all on her own.

โ€œSeita, what are you doing?โ€

โ€œWhoa!โ€

Hoshimiya was standing at the entrance.

She was holding her lunch bag and tilting her head slightly.

โ€œYou were making a hundred different faces all by yourself.โ€

โ€œI wasnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œYou were. You had a serious look on your face, then suddenly looked flustered, and at the end, you looked a little frustrated.โ€

โ€œPlease donโ€™t watch me.โ€

Hoshimiya smiled happily and sat down next to me.

The distance between us felt too natural.

Now, she sits next to me without hesitation. As if she believes thatโ€™s her spot.

No, she probably does believe it.

Rino Hoshimiya is that kind of girl.

โ€œYouโ€™re early today.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s normal.โ€

โ€œDid you want to see me?โ€

โ€œI just came to eat my lunch.โ€

โ€œSo, did you want to eat lunch with me?โ€

โ€œStop leading me on.โ€

Hoshimiya chuckled as she opened her lunchbox.

Her laughter sounded so carefree that I felt the tension in my shoulders ease just a little.

As expected, this time together is soothing.

I donโ€™t want to admit it, but it is soothing.

โ€œSeita, did you read the rest of the โ€˜I Donโ€™t Need Youth!!โ€™ side story from yesterday?โ€

โ€œI did.โ€

โ€œWhat did you think?โ€

โ€œThe protagonist should take responsibility.โ€

โ€œNot that again.โ€

โ€œBut itโ€™s true. That heroineโ€™s whole life took a different turn just because of one thing the protagonist said. A protagonist who saves people without realizing it should bear the weight of the person they saved.โ€

As I spoke passionately, Hoshimiya stopped eating and looked at me.

โ€œItโ€™s convincing coming from you, Seita.โ€

โ€œWhy is that?โ€

โ€œBecause you changed the course of my life a little.โ€

The fried chicken in my bento almost got stuck in my throat.

โ€œThatโ€™s heavy.โ€

โ€œYeah. It is heavy.โ€

โ€œThe scariest thing is that youโ€™re aware of it.โ€

โ€œBut you said you wouldnโ€™t run away, Seita.โ€

โ€œAs much as I can, anyway.โ€

โ€œSo, youโ€™re not running away right now, then.โ€

Hoshimiya said that and gave my sleeve a light pinch.

I felt like there was still a trace of anxiety from yesterdayโ€™s photo shoot lingering on her fingertips.

I let out a sigh.

โ€œโ€ฆYesterdayโ€™s photos.โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€

โ€œThey were beautiful.โ€

Hoshimiyaโ€™s hand stopped moving.

โ€œBut I didnโ€™t like it very much.โ€

The moment I said it, my chest grew warm again.

Hoshimiya didnโ€™t say anything.

She just stared at me intently.

โ€œI know itโ€™s natural for you to make that kind of face at work, and I know itโ€™s not my place to say anything. But I didnโ€™t like it, so I said it.โ€

I looked away.

โ€œThatโ€™s all. The defendantโ€™s testimony is concluded.โ€

โ€œDefendant?โ€

โ€œBecause a trial was taking place inside my head.โ€

Hoshimiya was silent for a few seconds, then suddenly smiled.

The next moment, she set down her lunch box and covered her face with both hands.

โ€œSeita, thatโ€™s not fair.โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean?โ€

โ€œIf you say something like that, I wonโ€™t be able to go to work.โ€

โ€œPlease go. My social credibility will be ruined.โ€

โ€œI want it to be ruined because of you, Seita.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s a dangerous thing to say.โ€

Hoshimiya kept her face covered, her shoulders trembling.

I couldnโ€™t tell if she was laughing, embarrassed, or on the verge of tears.

Eventually, she lifted her face.

Her cheeks were red.

Her eyes were a little moist, too.

โ€œIโ€™m scared that Seita will hate me, but the fact that Seita feels bad because of meโ€ฆ makes me a little happy.โ€

โ€œIsnโ€™t that awful?โ€

โ€œMaybe it is.โ€

Hoshimiya gave a small laugh.

โ€œBut it means I know Iโ€™m in Seitaโ€™s heart.โ€

Those words carried a lot of weight.

But I wasnโ€™t as scared as I had been before.

If anything, I was starting to understand the meaning of that weight little by little.

Hoshimiya is a celebrity.

Sheโ€™s seen by so many people.

So many people tell her they like her.

But what she wants isnโ€™t the gaze of an unspecified crowd.

Itโ€™s the assurance that she has a place inside me.

Because I understand that, I canโ€™t bring myself to reject her outright.

โ€œHoshimiya-san.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œIโ€ฆ I donโ€™t think I really understand what it means to be a girlfriend or anything like that yet.โ€

Hoshimiyaโ€™s expression froze for a moment.

A flicker of anxiety fell into the depths of her eyes.

I hurriedly continued.

โ€œButโ€ฆ Iโ€™m definitely very aware of you, Hoshimiya-san.โ€

Hoshimiya froze.

It felt as if even the air behind the warehouse had stopped moving.

I realized what Iโ€™d said, and a moment later, I wanted to die.

What was I saying?

Why did I say that?

My teenage insecurities were setting off a fire alarm.

If this were a romantic comedy, the heroine would blush here, the protagonist would blush, and the two of them would grow a little closer. But Iโ€™m not like that. In my case, the otaku inside me is going berserk, quoting the famous line, โ€œI donโ€™t need youth!!โ€

A romance event has triggered.

Donโ€™t pick the wrong option.

Thereโ€™s no save file.

Life is auto-save.

Itโ€™s over.

โ€œSeita.โ€

Hoshimiyaโ€™s voice was trembling.

โ€œDid you really mean that just now?โ€

โ€œโ€ฆI shouldnโ€™t have said it.โ€

โ€œYou really did mean it.โ€

Hoshimiya smiled slowly.

That smile looked like it might shatter from sheer joy.

But at the same time, it was a little scary.

โ€œIโ€™ll remember today for the rest of my life.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s a heavy burden.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s your fault, Seita.โ€

โ€œThat might be true.โ€

Hoshimiya gripped my sleeve.

Her grip was weak, yet she wouldnโ€™t let go.

โ€œItโ€™s okay if you donโ€™t understand what it means to have a girlfriend or anything like that yet.โ€

She looked at me.

โ€œBut if youโ€™re aware of me, that alone is enough to make today okay.โ€

โ€œSo, itโ€™s just today, huh?โ€

โ€œI might feel anxious again tomorrow.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not very efficient.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m recharging with you.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not a power bank.โ€

Hoshimiya laughed.

Finally, the usual atmosphere was returning.

But I felt like the dynamic between us had changed slightly from what it was before lunch break began.

More than friends.

Less than lovers.

In that ambiguous space, I had taken another step closer to Hoshimiya.

Or maybe I was the one being drawn closer.

But right now, it didnโ€™t matter either way.

The pre-class bell rang.

Hoshimiya let go of my sleeve, looking reluctant to part.

โ€œSeita, think about me this afternoon, too.โ€

โ€œPlease focus on class.โ€

โ€œYou too, Seita.โ€

โ€œI will.โ€

โ€œLie. you will definitely going to think about meโ€

I wanted to deny it.

But I couldnโ€™t.

On the way back to the classroom, I apologized in my heart to the protagonist of I Donโ€™t Need Youth!!.

I was sorry for calling him clueless and telling him to take responsibility.

Apparently, when a heroine actually throws her intense feelings at you, you canโ€™t function properly.

And I could no longer look away from my real-life heroine, Rino Hoshimiya..


Maigetsu


1 thought on “Episode 30 – I’ll always remember that

  1. Zolten says:

    Would be nice to delve more into his past to be honest

    Reply

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