The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
The afternoon classes after lunch break felt like a trial for me.
Because I’d told Hoshimiya something like, “I’m really into you”—the kind of line that would be splashed across the cover of the next volume of a romance comedy manga—my mind was completely in shambles.
I couldn’t take in a single word on the blackboard.
The teacher’s voice sounded distant.
Instead of taking notes on the lesson, I was unconsciously writing the name of my favorite heroine from I Don’t Need Youth!! in my notebook. And for some reason, right next to it, I’d even started drawing a relationship chart with Rino Hoshimiya.
It’s over.
I’m no longer just a reader.
I’m no longer the kind of person who watches romance comedies from a safe distance, punching my pillow and yelling, “You should’ve noticed that!” at the protagonist’s clueless moves.
I’ve switched sides—to the one who realizes what’s happening but can’t act on it.
This is a grave sin.
In my heart, I bowed down in apology to the protagonist of I Don’t Need Youth!!. I’m sorry for calling you clueless and demanding you take responsibility all this time. When a heroine actually confronts you with such intense emotions, a person becomes surprisingly powerless. Kahiko Wataru, maybe you had your reasons too. No, wait—but you have way too many heroines, so you need to reflect on that.
I entered the after-school hours in that chaotic mental state.
Hoshimiya was getting ready to leave the classroom right away for a photo shoot. As Hara and Shinozaki called out, “Rino, work again today?” she smiled as usual.
A perfect smile.
The face of Hoshimiya Rino.
But I’ve come to know just a little bit of what lies behind that smile.
The hand that grabbed my sleeve behind the storage room.
The eyes that seemed to be checking if I was still there.
The weight of her closing the distance, as if to say, “Don’t run away.”
Knowing all of that, seeing her professional smile sent a strange ache deep into my chest.
“Seita.”
Hoshimiya came over to my desk.
The buzz of the classroom quieted down just a little.
“I’ll contact you after we’re done today.”
“Okay.”
“Make sure you reply.”
“I’ll reply when I see it.”
“I’ll send enough messages to make sure you notice.”
“That’s a scary promise.”
Hoshimiya gave a small laugh.
But she immediately lowered her eyes slightly.
“There are some shots with a man in today’s shoot, though.”
“…It’s work, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Work.”
Hoshimiya looked at me.
Her eyes were waiting for my reply.
I think in the past, I would have played it safe here and just said, “Good luck.” Since she’s a celebrity, I have no right to interfere with her work. Keeping my distance like that was the safe thing to do.
But then I remembered that day in the faculty room.
By swallowing my true feelings, going along with others, and constantly acting to avoid causing trouble, I’d ended up unable to take off my mask.
If I hide my true feelings, I won’t get hurt.
That’s what I used to think.
But if I keep hiding my true feelings, nothing gets through to the other person.
I should have learned that, at least a little, when I talked to Kyosuke.
So I exhaled.
“…To be honest, I kind of hate it.”
Hoshimiya’s eyes widened.
Hara let out a soft “Oh,” and Shinozaki muttered, “Takahara-kun, you really went for it.”
Ignoring the heat rising to my face, I continued.
“But that doesn’t mean I want you to stop, Hoshimiya-san. It’s just my own personal feeling. So please, do your best at work.”
Hoshimiya was silent for a moment.
Then, she gripped the handles of her bag tightly with both hands.
“Seita.”
“Yes.”
“When you say things like that to me… it makes me really happy.”
Hoshimiya’s cheeks flushed.
Her eyes were so intense they looked as if she might cry.
“It might be awful, but I’m happy that Seita thinks I’m a burden. But I’m also happy that you told me to do my best at work.”
“That’s complicated.”
“Yeah. It’s complicated because of you, Seita.”
“Don’t blame me.”
“It is your fault.”
Hoshimiya took a step closer.
Then, in a voice only I could hear, she said,
“When I get back, Seita will be the first person I contact. No matter who I stand next to during the shoot, the first person I’ll think of is Seita.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Hara was grinning in the distance.
Shinozaki was clearly finding it all very amusing.
I couldn’t care less about any of that.
Hoshimiya smiled with satisfaction and walked out of the classroom.
I watched her back as she left.
This time, I saw her off properly.
The old me would have looked away. Afraid of being seen by someone, hating the idea of strange rumors spreading, I would have pretended not to care.
But now it’s different.
Just seeing her off isn’t running away.
I felt that way.
After getting home, I opened I Don’t Need Youth!! in my room.
The chapter I chose today was the one where the protagonist sees the heroine off. As she heads to a club tournament, the protagonist clumsily confesses his true feelings to her. When I read it years ago, it was a scene that made me squirm, thinking, “Yeah, yeah, typical youth stuff. How noble. Are you trying to turn my heart to dust?”
Reading it now, for some reason, it felt a little different.
The protagonist doesn’t try to stop the heroine.
But he clearly looks sad.
The heroine picks up on that, smiles, and moves forward.
I never thought the day would come when I’d actually relate to this scene.
I closed the manga and stared at the ceiling.
Here I am, a guy with a youth complex, seeing off a top-tier active idol and waiting for a notification on my phone.
What the hell is this situation?
Even for someone with a romance comedy brain like me, this is the kind of over-the-top setup I’d send back to the editor.
My phone vibrated just past eight o’clock that night.
Rino Hoshimiya.
“It’s over.”
A photo followed immediately.
It looked like the green room at a photo shoot. Hoshimiya was still in her costume, smiling with a slightly tired look on her face. It wasn’t the perfect smile of a celebrity, but a relaxed expression—one closer to the Hoshimiya I knew.
“Since Seita said he didn’t like it, it might have shown on my face a little.”
I typed a reply.
“It didn’t interfere with your work, did it?”
“Probably.”
“‘Probably’ isn’t good enough.”
“But thinking about Seita helped me push through.”
My heart grew warm.
I stood there, holding my phone, unable to move for a while.
Over the past month, Hoshimiya had become a part of my daily life.
But maybe I’ve also slipped a little into her work life.
That’s a little scary, and a little nice.
“Good work today.”
“Make sure you get some proper rest tonight.”
As soon as I sent it, she marked it as read.
“If Seita says so, I’ll rest.”
“But I want to call you for just a little bit before I go to sleep.”
I almost dropped my phone.
A phone call.
Not a message, but a phone call.
My inner “teenage complex” went off like an alarm.
A phone call with a girl at night.
And the person on the other end is Rino Hoshimiya.
This is dangerous.
If this were a “I Don’t Need My Teenage Years!!” kind of story, there’d be an awkward silence during the call, we’d both be self-conscious, and finally, the “good night” would sound strangely sweet. It’s the kind of chapter where readers punch their pillows. I’d punch mine. I’d definitely punch it.
But in reality, I’m not the one punching the pillow.
I’m the one getting punched.
“Just for a little while.”
Send.
The call came through immediately.
Fast.
Too fast.
I took a deep breath before pressing the call button.
“…Hello?”
“Seita.”
Hoshimiya’s voice sounded right by my ear.
Closer than a text message.
Closer than the classroom.
For some reason, it feels closer than the back of the storage room.
“I wanted to hear your voice.”
“…But you’ve been hearing it all day at school, haven’t you?”
“Seita’s voice after work is different.”
“Don’t categorize things like that.”
Hoshimiya gave a soft laugh.
Just that laugh alone made my heart skip a beat again.
“Hey, Seita.”
“What is it?”
“You thought I hated you today, didn’t you?”
“Please stop talking like that.”
“But it made me happy.”
Hoshimiya’s voice dropped slightly.
“It seems like you thought, just a little, that you wanted to have me all to yourself.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t think it?”
I couldn’t answer.
Silence.
Silence over the phone leaves you with far fewer escape routes than when you’re face to face.
“Seita, you’ve gone quiet.”
“…Maybe I thought it a little.”
The moment I said it, I wanted to bury my face in my pillow.
It’s over.
This is definitely over.
Hoshimiya gasped on the other end of the line.
“Seita.”
“Please forget what I just said.”
“I can’t. I’ll never forget it.”
“I knew that.”
Hoshimiya laughed.
But her laughter was trembling.
“I want to have Seita all to myself, too.”
Her voice sounded unnervingly close.
“At school, in the storage room, at home, on the phone. I want every moment Seita is around to be mine.”
“That’s too much.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s scary.”
“Yeah.”
“But…”
My words trailed off.
It would have been easy to run away.
I could have just brushed it off as a joke.
I could have teased her.
If I’d made a sarcastic remark from a slightly detached position, like I usually do, this tension would have dissipated.
But that alone wouldn’t get through to her.
I thought I’d learned that much from the past.
“I don’t mind.”
It went quiet on the other end of the line.
Only the sound of my own heartbeat was unnaturally loud.
“…Seita.”
“Yes.”
“You have to come during lunch break tomorrow, no matter what.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Can I go with you in the morning, too?”
“…Please don’t wait for me at a specific spot.”
“Then I’ll come pick you up.”
“It’s the same thing.”
Hoshimiya finally smiled, just like she always did.
For the few minutes before we hung up, we talked about the spin-off of I Don’t Need Youth!!.
About the weight of the heroine we support.
About whether the protagonist should take responsibility.
About the sinfulness of the unconsciously redeeming protagonist.
Hoshimiya spoke happily, and I got carried away too.
That time felt like we were lovers, but we weren’t quite there yet.
More than friends, but less than lovers.
A distance that was too scary to name, yet one that was undeniably there even without a label.
Just before we hung up, Hoshimiya whispered softly.
“Good night, Seita.”
“Good night, Hoshimiya-san.”
“If you called me Rino, I might sleep even better.”
“Good night, Hoshimiya-san.”
“Muu.”
That dissatisfied sound was strangely cute.
After the call ended, I stared at my phone for a while.
My past hasn’t disappeared yet.
The wounds, the fear, and the memories of rejection still remain.
But today, I was able to speak my true feelings just a little bit.
I didn’t like it.
I might have wanted to keep her all to myself.
I don’t mind.
None of those were words the old me could ever have said.
I collapsed onto the bed and apologized once more in my heart to the protagonist of I Don’t Need Youth!!.
Sorry.
Being a romance comedy protagonist is way too hard.
But it’s not so bad.
I could no longer resist the fact that I had come to think that.
Maigetsu