The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
The time until Rino arrived felt strangely long.
Leaning against a pillar in front of the station, I looked down at the promotional copy of I Don’t Need Youth!! I was holding. To a non-otaku, buying the same volume again just for the booklet might seem incomprehensible.
But for me right now, it was my lifeline.
I’d just run into Kaede Fujimiya.
Back in middle school, she was the one who drove a deep thorn into my “youth complex.”
She apologized.
Fujimiya admitted that those words had been harsh.
That alone doesn’t mean everything ends neatly. But I didn’t run away—I told her it hurt. I told her I couldn’t just pretend it never happened.
The old me would have never been able to do that.
As I was reflecting on that fact, I saw a figure walking briskly toward me from the direction of the ticket gates.
It was Rino.
She wasn’t in her school uniform; she was wearing casual clothes that made her look a little more grown-up—perhaps she was on her way home from work. She had her hat pulled down low over her eyes and was wearing a pair of fashion glasses. Even so, Rino Hoshimiya’s presence couldn’t be completely hidden.
As soon as she spotted me, she hurried over, keeping an eye on her surroundings.
“Seita.”
“Rino.”
The moment I called her name, Rino’s expression wavered slightly.
But she immediately peered closely at my face.
“Are you okay?”
“…Probably.”
“‘Probably’?”
“There are parts where I’m not okay. But I didn’t run away.”
Rino gasped.
Then she gently grabbed my sleeve.
“You’re so brave.”
“Are you treating me like a kid?”
“No, I’m not. It’s because you did your best, Seita.”
Those words touched me more deeply than I’d expected.
I looked away for a moment.
The area in front of the station was crowded. It was too dangerous for Rino to stay there for long.
“Should we find another place?”
“Yeah. Somewhere with fewer people.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere where Seita can relax.”
Hearing that, I thought for a moment.
There were only so many places in front of the station where you could really relax.
In the end, we headed to a small park a short walk away. It was a different park from the one where Rino and I had read the I Don’t Need Youth!! anthology before—one with even fewer people passing by.
When we sat down on a bench, Rino adjusted her hat slightly and settled down next to me.
We were close.
But today, I was grateful for that closeness.
“Can you talk?”
“…Yes.”
I told her about meeting Fujimiya.
About back in middle school.
The words Fujimiya had said to me.
That I’d run into her again today at the bookstore.
And that she’d apologized.
Rino didn’t interrupt me once.
She just listened intently, still holding onto my sleeve.
When I said, “She apologized,” Rino’s grip tightened slightly.
“That person apologized to you, Seita.”
“Yes.”
“How did you feel about that, Seita?”
“I don’t know.”
I answered honestly.
“I do feel a little relieved that they apologized. But it hasn’t completely gone away. Those words are still there, and it still hurts when I remember them.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“But I was able to say it. That it hurt. That I can’t just pretend it never happened.”
Rino nodded slightly.
“That’s amazing, Seita.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Because you were able to express your own pain in your own words.”
I looked at the bookstore bag on my lap.
Inside the bag was I Don’t Need Youth!!.
The romantic comedies I’d loved and used as an escape.
Back then, I’d clung to the youth depicted on screens and on paper while cursing my own real-life youth. Yet now, I’m putting my real pain into words and having Rino, sitting right next to me, listen to me.
Life really makes no sense.
If it’s a romantic comedy, at least make it easier to understand.
No, don’t label my life as a romantic comedy.
“Hey, Seita,”
Rino said quietly.
“Did it seem like that person like you, Seita, or something like that?”
“Huh?”
I couldn’t help but look at Rino.
Rino had a serious expression.
Her eyes looked gentle, but there was little light deep within them.
Here it comes.
This is a heavy one.
“No, I don’t think so. She just apologized.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Seita, you used to like her, didn’t you?”
“…Yes.”
“What about now?”
“It’s different now.”
My answer was immediate.
Rino’s fingertips paused.
I was a little surprised myself that I’d answered so quickly.
I used to like her.
But not anymore.
I hadn’t expected to be able to state that fact so clearly.
“It’s different now. Fujimiya is someone from my past.”
“Then, what about now?”
Rino asked.
Her voice was soft.
She seemed scared.
I was at a loss for words.
Right now.
The person who’s in my heart right now.
I know that without even having to think about it.
But it’s way too embarrassing to say out loud. My teenage insecurities are setting off alarm bells in my head. “Evacuate immediately. Romance levels have exceeded the threshold. Please evacuate to safe otaku talk as soon as possible.”
I wanted to run away.
But Rino’s hand was gripping my sleeve.
I’ll say it before I run away.
I made up my mind.
“…Right now, it’s Rino.”
Rino froze.
I froze, too.
I said it.
I actually said it.
In a small park near the station, right after running into an ex-girlfriend from my past, I told the current top idol, “Right now, it’s Rino.”
Isn’t this the kind of line you’d hear near the very end of a romantic comedy?
No, it’s not a confession yet.
It shouldn’t be a confession.
The lawyer inside me is arguing desperately.
The defendant did not say, “I like you.” He merely stated, “Right now, it’s Rino,” and the meaning is ambiguous.
Your Honor, guilty as charged.
In my heart, I’d already lost the case.
“Seita.”
Rino’s voice was trembling.
“Say that again.”
“I can’t.”
“Please.”
“My mind can’t handle it.”
“Mine can’t either.”
“Then it’s even more impossible, isn’t it?”
Rino covered her face with both hands.
Her ears, peeking out from under her hat, were red.
Seeing that reaction, my chest grew warm.
“Seita, that’s not fair.”
“Lately, that’s really all you’ve been saying.”
“But it is unfair. I was actually a little scared just now.”
“Scared?”
“I was worried that a girl from Seita’s past might come to apologize, and what if she became a beautiful memory for you?”
Rino said this while still covering her face.
“Even though I told you I wanted to be part of the rest of your youth, I was afraid that someone from your past might take you away from me. Even though I know that won’t happen, I still didn’t like the thought.”
It’s heavy.
But within that heaviness, there was genuine anxiety.
Rino isn’t just trying to tie me down.
She’s always afraid of disappearing from my life.
“Rino.”
I called her name.
Rino looked up.
“My past won’t disappear. What Fujimiya said to me, and the pain I felt—those things will probably stay with me forever.”
“Yeah.”
“But the place I want to go back to right now is with you, Rino.”
The moment I said it, something inside me exploded again.
I’m done for.
Today is a festival of slip-ups.
My mouth is out to get me.
Rino had completely frozen.
Then, she slowly let go of my sleeve and touched my hand instead.
“Seita.”
“Yes.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“……Yes.”
This time, I didn’t hesitate.
Rino’s fingers intertwined with mine.
They’re warm.
Just that warmth alone is slowly melting away the chill that had been deep in my chest until just a moment ago.
“Seita, thank you for coming back.”
“I haven’t gone anywhere yet.”
“But you’ve come back from the past.”
Hearing that, I couldn’t say a word.
It’s true—back at the bookstore just now, for a split second, I had been transported back to the hallway of my middle school.
But right now, I’m here.
I’m sitting on a bench, holding hands with Rino.
Even if I’m pulled back into the past, I have a place to come back to now.
“Rino.”
“What?”
“I’ll probably have moments when I remember the past and get down again.”
“Yeah.”
“I think you’ll find that a hassle.”
“I don’t think so.”
“It’s a burden.”
“I’m a burden too, so we’re a perfect match.”
“That’s a pretty lousy kind of match.”
Rino gave a small laugh.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little too.
Just then, my phone vibrated.
I looked at the screen—it was from Kyosuke.
‘Wanna get together this coming break? It’s been a while.’
A short message.
An old friend.
We’d drifted apart in middle school, but our relationship had gradually started to mend.
I looked at the screen and showed it to Rino.
“It’s from Kyosuke.”
“Your friend?”
“Yeah. He asked if we should get together sometime.”
Rino narrowed her eyes slightly.
It wasn’t jealousy.
Well, maybe there was a little bit of that.
But her expression suggested she was thinking about something more than that.
“Go ahead.”
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah. He’s an important friend of Seita’s, right?”
“Rino, are you okay with this?”
The moment I asked, Rino looked a little surprised.
Then she smiled happily.
“I might not be okay with it.”
“You’re so honest.”
“But since Seita asked me properly, I’ll be okay.”
Rino gently wiggled her thumb while still holding my hand.
“Go ahead. But call me when you’re done. I want to know for sure that Seita’s coming back safely.”
“Got it.”
“Also, let me know if there are any girls there.”
“It’s Kyosuke and the guys, so I think it’ll just be guys.”
“Don’t just ‘think’—make sure.”
“You’re being a bit much.”
“It’s important.”
Rino was serious.
With a wry smile, I replied to Kyosuke.
“I’m going. I’ll adjust my schedule.”
I hit send.
Even though it was just that, my heart felt a little lighter.
I met someone from my past.
I remembered the pain of the past.
But I’m still connected to my current friends.
I’m still connected to Rino, too.
My youth didn’t end in the past.
“Seita.”
“Yes.”
“Can I count today as a memory, too?”
“…Yes.”
“The day Seita came back from the past and returned to me.”
“That’s a bit of a heavy way to put it.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it?”
I thought for a moment.
Then I looked at our clasped hands.
“…Maybe so.”
Rino smiled, looking as if she might cry.
Seeing that smile, I thought to myself.
Meeting Kaede Fujimiya was painful.
But it didn’t just end with that pain.
I faced my past and realized where I wanted to return to now.
That was surely a big step for me.
Rino was beside me, still holding my hand.
Feeling the warmth of her hand, I let out a soft sigh.
My “youth complex” still hasn’t completely faded away today.
But around that thorn, another new memory with Rino had been added.
I, who had been pierced by the past, was now holding Rino’s hand.
Just that alone made me feel a little bit saved.
Maigetsu