The Schoolโs Top Idol Is Acting Like Sheโs My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Ownโฆ?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
I used to have a crush on someone.
Itโs in the past tense.
Itโs not some pretty story about still liking her or having lingering feelings. Itโs just a modest, pathetic emotion that definitely existed during my middle school daysโone that left nothing but pain.
โCould you please stop coming near me? And stay out of my class, too.โ
Those words were duller than any knife, yet they cut deep.
It wasnโt just her who made it impossible for me to go to school. The reasons I became a shut-in were much more complex. Words from teachers. The stares of those around me. My own weakness. Days when I read the room so much I forgot how to breathe.
But it was true that her single remark left a gaping hole in my chest.
Ah, so Iโm the kind of person who gets disliked just for getting close?
It hurt enough to make me think that.
Recalling those long-ago days, I entered the classroom.
About a month had passed since the entrance ceremony.
In a month, a certain structure had already formed within the small society of the school. Those who stood out. Those who didnโt. Those always surrounded by people. Those who spent their time quietly in the corner of the classroom. Those easy to talk to. Those hard to talk to.
And naturally, Hoshimiya was right at the center of the group that stood out.
There were people around her again today.
It wasnโt just her title as a famous idol. She was simply good-looking, spoke softly, and was good at adapting to others. There was no reason for people not to gather around her.
Where my gaze fell, Hoshimiya was talking with two girls.
One was a girl with bright, slightly pinkish hair who looked like a โgal.โ Her name is Seika Hara. Despite her flashy appearance, sheโs strangely friendly and already occupies a position near the center of the class.
The other is a girl with grayish hair loosely hanging down and sleepy-looking eyes. Saki Shinozaki. Her tone is laid-back, but she has a keen eye for detail. She may seem listless, but sheโs the type to really latch onto anything that looks interesting.
These two, too, were the kind of people who stood out, though not quite as much as Hoshimiya.
โOh my, isnโt that Takahara-kun?โ
โHey, Takahara.โ
Hara waved with a smirk, and Shinozaki raised one hand casually.
โโฆGood morning.โ
I replied modestly.
At that moment, Hoshimiya slipped past the two of them and walked over to me.
โGood morning, Seita!โ
Her smile was like a bright sun.
It was dazzling, even this early in the morning.
No, it was too dazzling. Even a month after starting school, I still hadnโt gotten used to the intensity of Hoshimiya Rinoโs smile. As I squinted slightly, Hara poked her head out from the side.
โTakahara-kun, are you already mesmerized by Rino this early in the morning?โ
โNo, itโs not like that.โ
โYouโre blushing, arenโt you?โ
Haraโs finger poked my cheek.
I reflexively tried to take a step back, but this time Shinozaki slipped up close from the other side.
โTakahara-kun, youโve got this cute โshy guyโ vibe thatโs totally addictive, isnโt it?โ
โPlease donโt get hooked on me.โ
โYour reactions are just so good, too.โ
Shinozakiโs finger poked my other cheek.
I was being poked on both cheeks.
The situation made no sense.
My middle school days were supposed to have ended with girls telling me to stay away, yet now I was being poked on the cheeks by the two most popular girls in class. My youth was taking a weird turn.
And on top of that, Hoshimiya was right in front of me.
Hoshimiya was puffing out her cheeks.
But it wasnโt just a cute pout. The light deep in her eyes faded slightly. The shape of her smile hadnโt disappeared, but the warmth within it had dropped a notch.
โYou two.โ
Hoshimiyaโs voice was soft.
Yet, for some reason, I sat up straight.
โHeโs my childhood friend, you see.โ
โEhh? Thatโs fine! Itโs not like itโs going to hurt anyone.โ
Hara said with a smirk.
โThatโs right. Takahara-kunโs cheeks feel so nice to touch.โ
Shinozaki continued in a soft voice.
I took a couple of steps back, as if trying to escape from the two of them.
This is weird.
My youth is clearly heading in a strange direction.
My youth, which was supposed to be scarred and empty, has twisted into some incomprehensible shape in just a month. Moreover, rather than the wounds healing, I had the sensation that they were beginning to harden in a strange direction.
Like a tree that doesnโt grow straight, but bends repeatedly along the way, extending its branches while retaining a bizarre shape.
Such a twisted youth.
โSeita.โ
Hoshimiya took a step closer.
โLook only at me.โ
She was direct.
So direct that I held my breath.
Hoshimiya took both my hands. Even though we were in public, she showed no hesitation. Or maybe she did hesitate. But her desire to turn me toward her was stronger than that.
She was smiling.
She was smiling, but the light hadnโt returned to her eyes yet.
It was less a smile and more something shaped like a smile.
โHey, Takahara-kunโโ
Shinozaki shook her gray hair and quickly closed the distance between us.
โYou and Rino are childhood friends, right? Tell us some stories from back then!โ
โThat sounds great! We donโt know anything about Rinoโs past!โ
Hara chimed in, her face full of curiosity.
As if in response to her voice, all eyes in the classroom turned toward us.
This is the worst.
Memories of being childhood friends with Hoshimiya.
I donโt have any of those.
Thereโs no way I do.
We met a month ago, she just made up this โchildhood friendsโ thing on her own, and Iโve just been going along with it ever since.
I looked at Hoshimiya.
Hoshimiya was looking at me.
โSeita, you do have some, right?โ
She said gently.
โLetโs tell them. A lifetimeโs worth of memories between us.โ
Thatโs heavy.
A lifetimeโs worth.
It scared me how naturally those words came out of her mouth.
โA lifetimeโs worth is a bit of an exaggeration, donโt you thinkโฆ?โ
โIโm not exaggerating.โ
Hoshimiyaโs hand squeezed mine just a little tighter.
โI remember them, after all.โ
Thereโs no way she remembers them.
But Hoshimiya really did look like someone recounting memories.
โSeita has always talked really fast whenever he gets excited about something he likes.โ
โThatโs just now.โ
โIt was like that when he was little, too. Heโd start talking about an anime I didnโt know, and halfway through, heโd get so caught up in it that heโd start having fun all by himself. But then, when he realized I wasnโt keeping up, heโd make a face like he felt a little bad.โ
Hara and Shinozaki chimed in in unison, โOh, really?โ
I couldnโt say a word.
She was turning the present into the past.
Hoshimiya was clever.
It wasnโt a complete lie. She was describing the reaction Iโd actually shown in front of her as if it were a long-held memory. Thatโs why it felt strangely real. To the listener, it didnโt sound like a made-up story.
โAnd then,โ
Hoshimiya continued.
โSeita always gets flustered when I look like Iโm about to cry. He looks flustered and like he wants to run away, but in the end, he stays close to me.โ
The classroom grew a little restless.
That, too, was a distorted version of the truth.
When Hoshimiya looked like she was about to cry, I was definitely flustered. I wanted to run away. But I couldnโt completely leave her behind.
When she framed it as something thatโs โalways been that way,โ it was hard to deny.
โRino, thatโs basically a childhood friend, isnโt it?โ
Haraโs eyes sparkled.
โHow sweet. Takahara-kun, youโre a surprisingly sinful guy.โ
Shinozaki said casually.
Iโm not a sinful guy.
Iโm just going with the flow.
I wanted to say that, but the atmosphere in the classroom had been completely swallowed up by the story Hoshimiya had created.
And before I knew it, Hoshimiya had dropped another bombshell.
โAlso, I actually confessed to Seita once, a long time ago.โ
The classroom froze.
I froze, too.
Hara covered her mouth.
Shinozakiโs sleepy eyes opened just a little.
The gazes of the boys around me shifted from something that looked like murderous intent to something just short of it.
I blurted out reflexively.
โHey, waitโthat was back in kindergarten!โ
It was a lie.
But I had no choice but to cover it up with a lie.
If it was back in kindergarten, maybe it could still be brushed off as a joke. An extension of playing house. A childโs innocent confession. There was a chance they could treat it as just that.
Hoshimiya looked at me.
She looked just a tiny bit satisfied.
โYeah. Seita, you remembered.โ
Remembered? It was a story I just made up.
But I couldnโt deny it.
Strangely enough, in that moment, I wasnโt wearing my public mask.
As usual, I should have been able to laugh lightly to fit the situation. Brush it off casually, turn it into a joke, and handle it without ruining the mood. I could have done that much if Iโd put on my mask.
But right now, that mask wouldnโt come out.
Was it because Hoshimiya was holding my hand?
Or had the time Iโd spent with her over the past month gradually chipped away at my mask?
I didnโt know.
โTakaharaโโ
Hara peered at my face.
โDo you like Rino?โ
The atmosphere shifted.
Hara.
Shinozaki.
My classmates.
And Hoshimiya.
Everyoneโs gaze was fixed on me.
I thought I heard the sound of my own breath catching in my throat.
Hoshimiyaโs grip tightened ever so slightly.
I looked at her.
ใHoshimiya wasnโt smiling.
Her expression seemed both hopeful and fearful, as if something might shatter if she were rejected. A faint light was beginning to return to the depths of her eyes. Whether that light would shine or fade depended entirely on my answer.
โI, about Hoshimiya-sanโโ
At that very moment, the classroom door swung open.
โAlright, everyone, take your seats. Class is about to begin.โ
The teacherโs voice echoed through the classroom.
The atmosphere was abruptly cut short.
My classmates returned to their seats, looking displeased. Hara and Shinozaki also walked away, grumbling, โCome on, that was just getting good,โ as they gave Hoshimiya a light pat on the shoulder.
I took my seat as well.
My heart was still racing.
Had I been saved?
Or had she just put off giving me an answer?
Hoshimiya, sitting to my right, stared straight ahead for a while.
Then, just before class started, she slid a small piece of paper across my desk.
Her handwriting was beautiful.
โI like you, Seita.โ
My breath caught in my throat.
I couldnโt help but look up from the note to Hoshimiya.
She was looking at me, her chin resting on her hand.
The gloom in her eyes from just a moment ago had regained a little of its sparkle. But that sparkle wasnโt just gentle. It was a heavy, sweet, and slightly intimidating light, fixed on me, not missing a single one of my reactions.
I felt I had to say something in return.
But no words came out.
The fingers holding the mechanical pencil in my hand couldnโt stay still, and I ended up drawing meaningless lines along the edge of my notebook.
Hoshimiya watched me like that and gave a small smile.
She didnโt speak aloud.
Only her lips moved.
โYou really are cute, Seita.โ
Feeling my face grow hot, I looked straight ahead.
Naturally, I couldnโt take a single word of the lesson in.
Maigetsu