The Schoolโs Top Idol Is Acting Like Sheโs My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Ownโฆ?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
That night, I couldnโt sleep.
The reason was obvious.
I held hands with Rino.
That simple fact kept replaying endlessly in my mind.
The sunset over the riverbank.
The hand she held out to me.
My fingertips touching hers tentatively.
The warmth of Rinoโs hand as she squeezed mine back.
Every time I recalled it, my heart would start its own sports festival right there in my room, all by itself. Calm down. Youโre a heart. Youโre not a relay runner.
I tossed and turned in bed.
On my desk lay the anthology I Donโt Need Youth!!. For some reason, I felt like the heroines on the cover were staring right at me.
โYouโre already on that side, you know.โ
I could hear that voice in my head.
No.
Iโm still on the readerโs side.
Iโm the kind of person who writhes in agony over the bittersweetness of romance comedies and moans under the covers as my โyouth complexโ gets stirred up.
Donโt go acting like the protagonist just because you held hands.
But reality is ruthless.
When I opened my phone, there was a message from Rino.
โYour hand was warm.โ
Thatโs way too devastating.
Thereโs no way a girl who sends a message like that actually exists in real life.
She did.
She was in my contacts.
And she was a top idol, no less.
I looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh.
The old me wouldโve definitely run away from this situation.
I might have pretended the hand-holding never happened and kept my distance starting the next day. I was afraid of raising her hopes. I was afraid of misinterpreting her feelings. I was afraid of getting close only to be rejected.
I used all of those as excuses to create an escape route.
But right now, I didnโt want to run away.
Even though I was scared.
Even though I was anxious.
I was actually looking forward to seeing Rino tomorrow.
For me, that was the biggest sign that something was off.
ใโปใโปใโป
The next morning.
I was walking along my usual route to school.
Sure enough, Rino was standing in front of the convenience store.
She was in her school uniform, holding her bags in both hands, and she broke into a bright smile the moment she spotted me.
But today was a little different from usual.
As soon as Rino saw my face, she immediately looked down.
Her ears were red.
I was probably making a similar expression myself.
We held hands yesterday.
That fact still lingered in the morning air.
โG-good morning, Seita.โ
โGood morning, Rino.โ
Her name just slipped out naturally.
I realized it after I said it.
Rino noticed it too.
Her eyes widened for just a moment, and then she gripped the handles of her bag tightly with both hands.
โโฆThatโs not fair first thing in the morning.โ
โI feel like youโve been saying that since yesterday.โ
โItโs because youโre always doing sneaky things, Seita.โ
โI just said a normal greeting.โ
โYou called me โRino.โโ
โBecause we promised Iโd call you that.โ
โYeah.โ
Rino smiled happily.
The moment I saw that smile, my โyouth complexโ quietly brought me to my knees.
This is no good.
Resisting no longer feels meaningful.
We started walking side by side.
Today, Rino isnโt grabbing my sleeve.
We arenโt holding hands either.
Weโre just walking a little closer together than yesterday.
That was enough.
It felt as if the warmth of her hand from yesterday still lingered, and my fingertips felt strangely restless.
โSeita.โ
โWhat is it?โ
โDo you remember what happened yesterday?โ
โItโs too soon to forget.โ
โI see.โ
Rino lowered her gaze slightly.
โIโve thought about it over and over.โ
โI figured as much.โ
โWhat about you, Seita?โ
I knew sheโd ask.
But now that she actually asked, it was hard to answer.
Averting my gaze, I answered honestly.
โโฆMe too, a few times.โ
โHow many times?โ
โPlease donโt ask me to count.โ
โIโve lost count.โ
โThatโs heavy.โ
โWhat about you, Seita?โ
โโฆI figure if I count, I lose.โ
Hearing that, Rino gave a soft laugh.
She looked happy.
Even words like theseโRino picks them up and treasures them.
Back then, that used to scare me.
Now, though, being cherished like that feels a little warm.
When we arrived at school, Hara and Shinozaki were waiting for us, as expected.
Well, rather than just waiting, they were staring at us with eyes like wild animals that had spotted their prey.
โGood morning. You twoโฆ isnโt the vibe a little different?โ
โSomething happened yesterday, didnโt it?โ
Shinozakiโs observational skills were way too sharp.
I tried to deny it immediately.
But Rino, sitting next to me, spoke up first.
โI held hands with Seita yesterday.โ
The air in the classroom froze.
My heart nearly stopped too.
โRino!?โ
โWait, seriously!?โ
Hara jumped up.
Shinozaki, unusually, widened her eyes a little.
โOh. First you call each other by name, now youโre holding hands. Things are going smoothly, huh?โ
โWhat do you mean, โgoing smoothlyโ?โ
I clutched my head.
As for Rino, she looked a little embarrassed but happy.
Why did she say that?
Why did she make it public?
No, I guess for Rino, itโs a memory she doesnโt want to hide. I get it. I get it, but donโt say it in the classroom.
โDid Takahara-kun make the first move?โ
Hara asked with a smirk.
โNo, thatโsโโ
โI was the one who reached out first. But Seita was the one who held my hand.โ
Rino said it boldly.
A few people around us turned to look at us.
I just wanted to turn into a desk.
I wanted to stop being human and quietly spend the rest of my days as nothing more than a desk.
โTakahara-kun, youโre pretty good at this, arenโt you?โ
โThatโs not it. It just happened.โ
โSo you hold hands just because the mood strikes you?โ
โThe air down by the riverbank is bad.โ
โYouโre blaming it on the air.โ
Shinozaki chuckled softly.
I gave up on arguing.
Rino, sitting next to me, gave my sleeve a light tug.
โSeita.โ
โโฆโฆWhat is it?โ
โCome see me at lunch today, too.โ
โIโll be there.โ
โWhat about our hands?โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ
โPicking up where we left off yesterday.โ
โWhat do you plan to continue during our school lunch break?โ
Rino gave a small laugh.
Deep in her eyes, a hint of both anticipation and anxiety mingled.
I want to hold hands again.
But if I push too hard, Seita might run away.
I felt like I could see those feelings in her eyes.
I exhaled.
โโฆโฆIt depends on the place and the situation.โ
Rinoโs face lit up.
โReally?โ
โIโm not promising anything.โ
โBut you donโt mind, do you?โ
โโฆโฆWellโฆโ
Hara clasped her hands together beside me.
โYeah, theyโve been all lovey-dovey since this morning.โ
Shinozaki nodded.
โI feel like Iโm going to spit out sugar.โ
โDonโt talk about it like itโs none of your business.โ
Amid the buzz of chatter in the classroom, I took my seat.
Even after class started, Rino kept glancing my way from time to time.
Every time I called her name, I wondered if she was remembering the time we held hands. Her ears stayed red for a while.
Lunchtime.
We were behind the warehouse, as usual.
While eating our boxed lunches, we continued our discussion of the I Donโt Need Youth!! anthology. Because yesterdayโs hand-holding incident was still fresh in my mind, I found myself overreacting even to scenes where the heroine simply grabbed the protagonistโs sleeve.
โSeita, do you like this scene?โ
โI do, but reading it now really hits me hard.โ
โWhy?โ
โBecause reality has caught up with me.โ
โSeita, youโve been losing to reality a lot lately, havenโt you?โ
โItโs the rom-comsโ fault for encroaching on reality.โ
โWhat about me?โ
โYouโre the main culprit behind the encroachment.โ
Rino laughed happily.
โHave I managed to invade Seitaโs mind?โ
โQuite a bit.โ
As soon as I said it, I thought, โOh no.โ
Rino set down her lunchbox.
Then she covered her face with both hands.
โSeita, please stop saying things like that out of the blue.โ
โIt was an accident, even for me.โ
โEven if it was an accident, Iโm happy.โ
Rino looked at me, her face flushed.
Then she gently held out her right hand.
Just like yesterday.
But today was a little different.
She didnโt say a word.
Neither did I.
In the silence behind the warehouse, I stared at that hand.
Iโm still a little scared.
But not as much as yesterday.
I slowly reached out my hand.
I touched the tips of Rinoโs fingers.
She held her breath.
I gently clasped her hand.
โโฆโฆSeita.โ
โJust for a little while, until lunch break is over.โ
โOkay.โ
Rino nodded happily.
Her expression was calmer than it had been yesterday.
We held hands and didnโt say a word for a while.
Both our lunchboxes and the anthology remained open.
We were just sitting there, side by side.
That was all that time was.
The old me would have been scared of this kind of silence.
Iโd think, โIf I donโt say something, sheโll dislike me.โ
โIf I bore her, sheโll walk away.โ
Thinking that, I used to force a smile or try to go along with the other person.
But strangely enough, the silence with Rino didnโt feel painful at all.
Maybe it was because of the warmth of her hand.
Maybe it was because Iโd started calling her by her first name.
Or maybe it was because Rino looked genuinely happy just being there beside me.
โSeita.โ
โYes.โ
โIโm really happy right now.โ
โWeโre just holding hands during lunch break.โ
โItโs not just that.โ
Rino gave a small laugh.
โItโs because this is the time when you donโt run away from me.โ
Hearing those words, my chest ached a little.
At the same time, it felt warm.
There are still times when I want to run away.
There are times when I get scared.
But today, I didnโt run away.
Just that alone seems to mean a lot to Rino.
The pre-class bell rang.
It was time to let go.
Rinoโs fingertips twitched slightly, as if reluctant to part.
I couldnโt let go right away either.
But we had to get back to class.
โLetโs go back, Rino.โ
โOkay, Seita.โ
Even after we let go of each otherโs hands, only the warmth remained.
When we got back to the classroom, Hara and Shinozaki looked over at us again.
โRino, youโre all smiles.โ
โTakahara-kun looks kind of soft-faced, too.โ
โItโs just my imagination.โ
I sat down at my desk.
Rino, sitting to my right, quietly slipped a note across to me.
โSeita, your hands were warm again today.โ
I hesitated for a moment, then wrote a reply.
โYour hands were warm today, too, Rino.โ
The moment I handed the note back, Rino buried her face in her desk again.
I looked at the blackboard.
As expected, I couldnโt concentrate on the afternoon classes.
But I found myself thinking that, in a way, it was just a little bit inevitable.
Maigetsu