The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
After school that day.
I had somehow managed to get through all my classes and stuffed the textbooks that had been spread out on my desk into my backpack.
The classroom was filled with a different kind of buzz than during lunch break. Some were making plans to go home with friends. Others were heading off to check out club activities. Still others were already exchanging contact information with classmates. On the second day of school, the pace of social connections after class was faster than I’d expected.
I stood on the sidelines of that bustle, getting ready to go home by myself.
In the center of the classroom, Hoshimiya was surrounded by a few classmates.
Even today, she stood out just by being there. The evening light streaming through the window touched her hair, softly outlining the silhouette of her uniform. The girls invited her to check out their clubs, and the boys asked her questions tentatively, and Hoshimiya responded to every one of them with a gentle smile.
The perfect school idol.
Watching her from a distance, I slung my bag over my shoulder.
It has nothing to do with me.
When I get home today, I’ll catch up on the anime I’ve been recording. Then, I’ll carefully consider whether I really need the cards I’m planning to buy this Saturday. There are definitely cards missing from my deck, but since I’m operating on a monthly allowance of 5,000 yen, I can’t just buy them on a whim.
Thinking about things like that puts me at ease much more.
I didn’t say anything to Hoshimiya and left the classroom.
The hallway was quieter than I expected.
The voices of students heading to club activities sounded distant; I suppose many students were still in their classrooms. On my way to the entrance, I saw what looked like upperclassmen from the sports clubs starting their warm-ups on the school grounds outside the window.
A new school.
A new class.
New relationships.
It felt as though all of that was just passing me by.
By the time I reached the entrance, there was hardly anyone around.
Only the sound of my footsteps echoed in the space lined with shoe lockers. I took off my indoor shoes and changed into my loafers. In the middle of that mundane action, the faces of my old friends suddenly popped into my mind.
I wonder how they’re doing right now.
Are the other members getting along well at their different high schools? I’m sure they are. Just because I went to a different school, they must have formed their own new circle. They were always much better at socializing than I was.
I’ve been left behind.
Those words popped into my head.
No. I came here on my own. I was the one who chose this high school, and I knew we’d end up apart. Yet, just standing here alone, changing my shoes, I feel like I’m a step behind the rest of the world.
Just then, I heard footsteps behind me.
“Wait!”
She grabbed my wrist.
When I turned around, there was Hoshimiya.
Her shoulders were heaving slightly—she must have been running. Her long hair was a little tousled, and her cheeks were flushed. It was a different face from the one she’d had just moments ago, smiling perfectly in the center of the classroom—this one looked frantic.
“Hoshimiya-san?”
“Leaving your childhood friend behind to go home? I don’t get it.”
“No, that’s not…”
We’re not childhood friends.
I tried to say that.
But the words stopped just before they reached my throat.
The silence at the entrance intensified the thoughts I’d been having just a moment ago. Parting ways with my friends. Being the only one in a different place. The feeling of being left behind by someone.
I wasn’t the one Hoshimiya had left behind.
If anything, I was the one trying to leave Hoshimiya behind.
Yet the loneliness deep in my chest reacted strangely to her words.
Hoshimiya peered into my face.
“Is something wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You don’t look like ‘nothing’ to me.”
Her voice was soft.
That made it all the more painful.
Hoshimiya doesn’t know anything about me. She doesn’t know what happened in middle school, why I’ve become so conscious of when to laugh in front of others, or why I find comfort in being alone.
And yet, she steps in as if she does know.
“If something’s wrong, I’d like you to tell me. I’m your childhood friend, after all.”
The sunset was casting an orange glow across the floor of the entrance hall.
In that light, Hoshimiya was smiling gently. Her face was beautiful and soft, as if she could see right through my vulnerability.
If this were a romantic comedy, this might be the scene where I’m saved.
But this is reality.
It’s not a manga or a novel.
Hoshimiya Rino isn’t my real childhood friend.
“What do you even know about me?”
The words slipped out.
My voice was so harsh it surprised even me.
Hoshimiya’s eyes opened slightly.
Stop.
That’s what I thought.
But once the words were out, I couldn’t take them back.
“You don’t know anything about my past. You’re not my childhood friend or anything, so don’t act like you understand me!”
My voice echoed in the stairwell.
The moment I said it, a chill ran deep through my body.
Hoshimiya looked down.
The grip on my wrist loosened slightly. Her long hair fell over her cheek, hiding her expression. Her shoulders didn’t move. It looked as if she had even stopped breathing.
I’d done it.
It was completely unfair.
It wasn’t Hoshimiya’s fault. It was my own selfishness that made me not want her to pry into my life, and it was only natural that she didn’t know my past. We’d only just met the other day. Yet, I yelled at her.
Deep in my chest, a sense of guilt spread belatedly.
Even so, I chose words that would let me escape.
“You get it now, don’t you? This is the kind of person I am. So, please, stop getting involved with me.”
I tried to walk away.
I thought I should end it for good this time.
Someone like Hoshimiya doesn’t need to put up with my troublesome side. And I don’t need to be dragged down by the weight of her feelings. If we part ways now, the wounds will be shallow for both of us.
That’s what I thought.
But Hoshimiya’s hand grabbed me again.
This time, it wasn’t my wrist—it was both my arms.
“Why?”
Her voice was trembling.
I turned around.
Hoshimiya had lifted her face.
Tears were welling up in her eyes. But she wasn’t about to break down crying. She was desperately trying to hold them back, yet a single tear had slipped past her control and was trickling down her cheek.
“Why are you saying such a lonely thing?”
“Hoshimiya-san…”
“If something happened, I’ll listen. I’ll listen to everything—Seita’s past, whatever happened. If I don’t know, I’ll find out right now.”
She took a step closer.
Her gait was unsteady. It wasn’t the perfect, idol-like walk she usually had. It was as if she were clinging to something, reaching out to something she didn’t want to lose.
“So please, don’t abandon me.”
Those words took my breath away.
Abandon.
I thought it was an exaggerated word.
We’d only met a few days ago, and our relationship consisted of just a brief conversation today. Even if I walked away, there were plenty of people in Hoshimiya’s life. Classmates, coworkers, fans—there must be a mountain of people who want her.
Yet, Hoshimiya’s eyes were serious.
If I shook her hand off right here, something would truly break. Her eyes made me feel that way.
She kept her hands on my arms as she closed the distance between us.
She’s close.
Her tear-soaked eyelashes, her shallow breathing, the faintly sweet scent of her shampoo—everything is close. It could almost look like an act. No, maybe for Hoshimiya, acting like she’s crying is easy.
But the tips of her fingers gripping my arms were trembling.
That tremor, at least, didn’t look like an act.
“Tell me about your past, Seita.”
Hoshimiya looked up at me.
“I won’t ask for anything more than that right now.”
That was a sneaky way to put it.
Right now.
Those words again.
But I didn’t have the energy to call her out on it right now.
Maybe my worries are just trivial. I was dwelling on the past, looking like I was the only one left behind, and taking it out on a girl I’d just met. I was hopeless.
Seeing Hoshimiya’s tears, I finally realized that.
“Hoshimiya-san.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
I gently let go of her hand.
Not to reject her, but to create some distance so I could apologize.
Then I bowed my head deeply.
“It was entirely my fault. It’s only natural that you wouldn’t know anything, yet I got frustrated on my own and took it out on you. I won’t ask you to forgive me. I just hope you can forget about it, if possible.”
There was no reply for a while.
From outside the entrance, the cheers of the club activities could be heard in the distance. The light of the sunset was gradually deepening, and the shadows stretching across the floor were growing longer.
“Seita”
Hearing my name, I looked up.
Hoshimiya was wiping away her tears with her finger.
Her eyes were still red. But a small smile had returned to her lips. It wasn’t a perfect smile. It was the slightly awkward smile you get after crying.
“I won’t forget.”
“…Huh?”
“I won’t forget that you got angry, that you apologized, or that you bowed your head to me.”
Hoshimiya took a step closer.
This time, she didn’t grab my arm.
She simply stood in front of me, blocking my escape route.
“Because that’s Seita too, isn’t it?”
Something inside my chest made an unpleasant sound.
It was easier to be blamed.
When I got angry, I could at least cast myself as the villain.
But Hoshimiya tries to pick up on even the parts of me I hate. Even if I reject her or yell at her, she doesn’t use that as a reason to walk away; instead, she tries to understand me.
It’s heavy.
It’s scary.
But within that heaviness, there was a warmth that left me with nowhere to run.
“If there’s anything I can do, please tell me. I’ll take responsibility as much as I can.”
Hoshimiya’s eyes flinched.
“Responsibility?”
This is bad.
I felt like I’d chosen my words poorly.
Hoshimiya looked down just once.
She wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks with her finger and slowly raised her face. Her expression was slightly different from the fragility she’d shown moments ago. She had been crying, yet a small light had returned to the depths of her eyes.
No, it had returned too much.
“Then…”
Hoshimiya smiled gently.
“Let’s go buy the latest volume of ‘I Don’t Need Youth’ together.”
“Huh?”
“I want to know more about Seita. The works you like, the cards you like, and the reason you want to be alone. As your childhood friend, I want to know these things.”
“That’s none of your business as a childhood friend.”
“Then, as a matter of responsibility.”
My escape route was cut off.
I was at a loss for words.
Hoshimiya stared intently at me, her eyes still glistening with tears. Her expression was so calm, it was hard to believe she’d just been crying. But that very calmness was what made her scary. The moment I said “responsibility,” she seemed to cherish those words and turned them into a promise.
This girl is truly unpredictable.
“…Alright. I’ll look forward to it that day.”
When I said that, Hoshimiya’s face lit up.
“Yeah!”
It was a smile so bright, it was hard to believe she’d been crying just moments ago.
But traces of tears still lingered on her cheeks. That incongruity lingered strangely in my heart. Beautiful, heavy, troublesome, and precarious. Hoshimiya Rino has a way of making all those emotions coexist on a single face.
I let out a small sigh.
I was really glad there was no one around.
If anyone had seen me, my high school life would have been completely over—as the guy who made a famous idol cry. Well, I still feel like it’s on the verge of ending. But at least it’s not a fatal blow.
Hoshimiya stood beside me.
This time, she didn’t grab my wrist.
But she was standing close enough that the sleeve of her uniform brushed mine ever so slightly.
“Hey, Seita.”
“What is it?”
“Let’s go home.”
“…Okay.”
“Together today.”
I reflexively tried to refuse.
But then I noticed that the corners of Hoshimiya’s eyes were still a little red.
If I refused, I might make her look like that again.
The moment I thought that, I knew I’d lost.
“Just part of the way.”
“Yeah. Part of the way is fine.”
Hoshimiya smiled happily.
Watching her profile, I was certain.
This is atonement.
I took my frustration out on her and hurt her. As my responsibility, I’ll go to the bookstore with her this weekend. That’s all it is. It’s definitely not a romantic comedy-style date. And it’s certainly not a “childhood friend” event.
I kept telling myself that.
As we stepped out of the entrance, the evening breeze felt a little chilly.
Hoshimiya was still smiling softly beside me.
And I had a feeling that, unbeknownst to me, another memory of a childhood friend who never existed had been added to my mind.
Maigetsu