The Love of My Childhood Friend, Who Has Overcome a Terminally Ill Diagnosis, Is Overwhelming
After high school, we decided to take the train from the station nearest our school and ride it all the way to the station near my house.
“Wow, the scenery around here brings back memories.”
As the train approached the station near my house, Kanade gazed out the window at the view with a nostalgic look on her face.
Watching her profile, memories from the past came flooding back to me.
I’m pretty sure it was back when I had just started elementary school.
Kanade and I were riding the train, just the two of us, on our way to a nearby shopping mall.
“Look, look! My house is over there, right?”
Just like now, back then too… Kanade was happily gazing at the scenery outside the window.
“You haven’t changed a bit since then.”
Perhaps because I was lost in those memories, the words slipped out before I could stop them.
“I don’t know what era you’re talking about, but I’ve actually changed quite a bit, you know?”
“Really?”
“Yeah. After all, I’ve nearly died once.”
Kanade took her eyes off the window and gave me a shy smile.
Seeing her smile like that, my heart didn’t exactly feel all warm and fuzzy.
She nearly died.
When hit with such a powerful statement, there’s no way I could feel warm and fuzzy.
“…Are you okay with your illness now?”
“Yeah. Sorry for worrying you.”
“…I see.”
Kanade’s story about her illness ended just as abruptly as it began.
Having seen her in that state back then, this was a topic I didn’t want to wrap up in such a brief exchange… but prying into every detail would probably be tactless.
“Thanks, A-kun.”
Kanade offered her thanks.
“It’s because you worried about me so much that I’m still alive today, you know?”
“……”
“I mean, you know… that thing. ‘Love saves people,’ right?”
“If you’re going to say that, it’s ‘Love saves the Earth.’”
I feel like that catchphrase was used by some charity program that embezzled donations.
“Wait, was that it?”
“Ahaha,” Kanade laughed again.
“Well, anyway, it’s a fact that I was saved by love, right?”
“……That’s not right.”
I looked down.
“Because if love saves people’s lives… then there shouldn’t be any lives leaving this world, right?”
To put it another way, if love saves people’s lives, then everyone who has passed away must have been unloved by others.
“……That can’t be true. Right?”
“……Akkun?”
“I can say this with certainty. Love cannot save people.”
I looked up.
“……Love isn’t something that saves people. It’s just that love is essential for people to live.”
“Huh?”
“If you don’t love someone, you wouldn’t even feel like paying their expensive medical bills, and to begin with, you wouldn’t feel like providing the food, clothing, and shelter necessary for them to survive. So, while love can’t save people, people can’t live without it.”
“……I see.”
It seemed Kanade had finally accepted it.
“So, does that mean I’m still alive thanks to you, after all?”
……Was she really convinced?
“Akkun, do you know why I wanted to live?”
“……Huh?”
“The treatment was painful, I nearly died, and there were times I felt like giving up, thinking I was done for. Even so, do you know why I managed to pull myself together time and time again and decide to keep living?”
“……There’s no way I could know that.”
“I guess not. But it’s actually really simple.”
……An announcement came over the intercom that the train would soon arrive at the station nearest my home.
“The reason I was able to stay motivated to live was because I couldn’t forget the worried look on your face as you left that day.”
The train began to slow down.
“If I hadn’t wanted to see you again, I’m sure I would have died long ago.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say to Kanade, who was talking about her own life and death as if it were a joke.
“Look, the train’s arriving.”
Outside the window, the platform of our nearest station came into view.
We got off the train.
It’s about a fifteen-minute walk from the station nearest my house to my home. We stopped at a convenience store along the way to buy some snacks, so we didn’t arrive home until about thirty minutes after we got off the train.
“Excuse me for coming in.”
“Sure.”
“Where are your parents?”
“They’re both at work today. I think they said they’d be coming home late.”
“Oh, really? That’s tough.”
“Yeah. It seems tough. I’m truly grateful, though.”
I really can’t hold a candle to my parents, who go to work even when they don’t want to, just to make ends meet.
“Since I’m here, I kind of wanted to see them, too.”
“Well, maybe next time.”
“Yeah. I’ll do that.”
Kanade nodded.
“Alright. Then let’s go to A-kun’s room.”
And, cutting off the flow of the conversation, she blurted that out.
“I don’t want to.”
“No way.”
“Eh…?”
Once she said “no,” there was no way to refuse if she insisted.
“…I won’t let you stay long, okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I was only planning to say hi today anyway.”
Kanade seemed to be having fun the whole time.
Reluctantly, I led Kanade to my room.
“Wow…”
As soon as she stepped inside, Kanade let out a gasp of admiration.
“You’ve kept it really clean.”
“Well…”
“You’ve redecorated, too.”
“Well, it’s been years since you were last in this room, so I’ve redecorated a few times.”
What on earth was that about?
“Oh, right. Actually, I brought a gift to mark our reunion today.”
Suddenly, as if she’d just remembered, Kanade rummaged through her bag.
“Huh, really? I feel a little bad about that.”
“It’s fine. Well, if you’d like, you can thank me somehow next time.”
“Of course.”
Kanade’s face lit up, as if she’d found what she was looking for in her bag.
“Here you go.”
The gift Kanade handed me was…
“…A teddy bear?”
Faced with such a rather fancy gift, I wasn’t sure how to react.
For a moment, I wondered if she’d given the gift to the wrong person… but seeing Kanade smiling so happily, I didn’t feel I could ask.
“Thank you…”
For the time being, I accepted the teddy bear.
…Well, maybe in France or somewhere, there’s a culture of giving teddy bears as a token of reunion, so it’s probably best not to make a big deal out of it.
“Think of me when you look at it, and display it in your room.”
“Oh, yeah…”
“I think that spot over there would be good.”
Kanade pointed to the very top shelf of a five-tier bookshelf in the corner of the room—one that was taller than I was.
“…Aren’t teddy bears meant to be cherished? If you put it up there, won’t it be hard to pick it up and admire it?”
“Come on, it’s fine.”
“…It might get covered in dust, you know?”
“Come on, it’s fine.”
…She’s not getting it.
“Alright. I’ll put it up.”
“Yeah.”
Kanade nodded.
“Of course, make sure the teddy bear’s face is facing forward, okay?”
“Huh, uh… yeah.”
Is that really something I need to specifically tell him?
“Also, try not to move it around too much, okay?”
“Huh…?”
“From now on, I’ll come by every so often to check if you’ve moved it.”
……Why?
“Because I’ll know right away if you move it, you know?”
So why?
Maiasa
“After graduating from high school…”?!
It’s actually metaphor about how the situation at school was so challenging, but okay I changed it
OK. It confused me. I thought there was major time skip there. LOL.
Lil bro just got bugged lmao
When I read it’s a teddy bear, I thought that he better not change clothes in his room. XD
She even wanted to put the gos tracker in his phone. Brother never had a chance to escape xD