The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~
That night.
I was in my room after a shower, staring at my phone screen with the I Don’t Need Youth!! anthology still sitting on my desk.
“That’s not fair.”
“I like you.”
Two messages sent by Hoshimiya.
Even though they were just text, they carried a lot of weight.
Those two words, “I like you,” had gravity. A black hole, maybe? Don’t suck my soul in.
I rested my finger on the reply field, typing and deleting over and over.
“Thank you.”
No. That sounds like a work message.
“I don’t dislike you either.”
No. That sounds way too much like a social outcast. Well, I am a social outcast, but if I put up that defensive stance here, Hoshimiya will probably get discouraged.
“Looking forward to working with you tomorrow.”
No. That sounds like an email to a client.
In the end, I couldn’t send anything.
I turned my phone face down.
I collapsed onto the bed.
Staring at the ceiling, I recalled the words I’d sent to Hoshimiya earlier at the station.
“You can stay.”
Even though I said it myself, looking back, it’s incredibly powerful.
If she heard something like that, Hoshimiya would definitely be happy. No, far from just being happy, she’d save it in her memory forever. The date, time, place, and even my expression—it’ll all be permanently saved as a complete set.
I’ve sent another dangerous piece of data into that memory vault called Hoshimiya Rino.
Before long, she’ll probably create something called “Seita’s Famous Quotes.”
It’s scary.
But I’m a little happy, too.
That feeling is the worst.
I buried my face in my pillow.
“Guaaaaah…”
A sound that wasn’t quite a voice escaped my lips.
My teenage insecurities were running wild.
The memory of being rejected by the girl I liked in middle school still hasn’t faded. The pain of being told, “Stay away,” still throbs dully deep in my chest.
But there was a part of me that told Hoshimiya, “It’s okay for you to be here.”
I, who am afraid of being rejected, gave someone a place to belong.
It felt strange, scary, and just a tiny bit proud.
My phone vibrated again.
I looked at the screen timidly.
“Seita, are you asleep?”
I wasn’t asleep.
But if I replied right away, wouldn’t it seem like I was waiting for her?
In fact, I was waiting.
This is the worst.
I put up a futile resistance for a few seconds before replying.
“I’m awake.”
It was marked as read immediately.
“You didn’t reply, so I got a little worried.”
My chest hurts.
“I just didn’t know what to say.”
“Is it because I said I liked you?”
“Yes.”
“Does that bother you?”
I hesitated for a moment.
Then, deciding I wouldn’t try to dodge the issue anymore, I typed a short reply.
“It did put me in a bind. But I didn’t mind.”
Send.
Read.
No reply.
Ten seconds.
Twenty seconds.
One minute.
The silence is terrifying.
Maybe I messed up.
The moment I thought that, a message arrived.
“Seita, you’re really sneaky.”
“I might not be able to sleep tonight.”
“Take responsibility.”
Responsibility.
There it was again.
It’s becoming the most important word in this story.
“Please go to sleep.”
“I might be able to sleep if I hear Seita’s voice.”
I stared at my phone.
A call.
I did this yesterday, too.
Am I going to do it again today?
Isn’t this starting to look like a habit? The habit of talking on the phone with a girl at night. And the person on the other end is Rino Hoshimiya. My teenage insecurities are finally starting to wave the white flag.
But if I turn her down now, Rino will be devastated.
No, it’s not just because she’ll be devastated.
I’ve actually found myself wanting to hear her voice a little bit, too.
I’ve lost.
“Just for a little while.”
The moment I sent it, my phone rang.
She’s really fast.
Rino Hoshimiya—when it comes to reply speed alone, she’s more of a top sniper than a top idol.
I pressed the call button.
“…Hello?”
“Seita.”
Hoshimiya’s voice reached my ear.
Just that alone calmed the depths of my chest a little.
At the same time, I was unsettled by how calm I felt.
“I was happy you replied.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“You said you didn’t mind.”
“Yes.”
“You said I could stay by your side.”
“…Yes.”
“Can I stay by your side tomorrow, too, Seita?”
Her voice was soft.
Her usual assertiveness was muted.
It was a voice that was truly waiting for my reply.
I exhaled, staring at the ceiling.
The old me would have dodged the question with a vague answer right here.
But things are different now.
Being evasive would surely hurt Hoshimiya.
“Sure.”
On the other end of the line, Hoshimiya gasped.
“…Really?”
“Yes. But please don’t wait for me in front of my house.”
‘Then I’ll wait in front of the convenience store on the way.’
“So you’ve decided to wait there, pretending to have compromised, right?”
‘Yeah.’
Hoshimiya chuckled softly.
Hearing that, I couldn’t help but smile a little myself.
‘Seita, did you laugh?’
“I didn’t laugh.”
“You did. I can tell by your voice.”
“Are you a detective?”
“I specialize in Seita.”
“That’s scary.”
“Because I like you.”
Those words again.
But I was able to take them in a little better than before.
After staying silent for a while, I said,
“…I don’t mind talking to you either, Hoshimiya-san.”
“Does that mean you like me?”
“No.”
‘So it’s not?’
Her voice dropped slightly.
Damn.
Another landmine.
“It’s not that it’s not—I just can’t put it into words yet.”
I hurriedly continued.
“But I do want to talk to you.”
It went quiet on the other end of the line.
Only my heart was making noise.
“Seita.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll be able to sleep tonight because of that.”
“I’m glad.”
“But tomorrow, say it to me in person again.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Say it.”
“I can’t.”
“Then I’ll stay by your side until you feel like saying it.”
“So you’re staying after all.”
“Yeah. I’ll be here.”
Hoshimiya’s voice was soft.
“Until Seita stops running away. Until Seita can call me by my name properly. Until Seita takes my presence by his side for granted.”
“That’s a heavy burden.”
“I know.”
“It’s scary.”
“But you don’t hate it, do you?”
I was at a loss for words.
Hoshimiya gave a small laugh at my silence.
“Good night, Seita.”
“…Good night, Hoshimiya-san.”
“Rino.”
“Good night, Hoshimiya-san.”
“I’ll make you call me that tomorrow.”
“Please don’t make scary declarations.”
The call ended with that exchange.
I stood there for a while, clutching my phone, unable to move.
The room was quiet.
On my desk lay the anthology I Don’t Need Youth!!.
On my phone was the call history with Hoshimiya Rino.
No matter how I look at it, my youth is just plain weird.
But it wasn’t just painful like it used to be.
I, who had kept my distance out of fear of rejection, am slowly learning to let someone stand by my side.
That’s scary.
But it’s warm.
The next morning.
As promised, Hoshimiya wasn’t waiting in front of my house.
I walked down the path to school, feeling relieved.
And then, five minutes later.
Hoshimiya was standing in front of the convenience store.
She was in her school uniform, holding her bags in both hands, standing there as if that were our meeting spot.
“Good morning, Seita.”
“…You really were waiting.”
“We promised, after all.”
“I don’t recall giving you permission.”
“But you said it was okay.”
Hoshimiya smiled happily.
The moment I saw that smile, my heart made that strange sound again.
“Seita.”
“What is it?”
“What are you going to call me today?”
“Hoshimiya san.”
“Rino.”
“Hoshimiya-san.”
“Rino.”
“…You’re really pushing it this early in the morning.”
Hoshimiya took a step closer.
She was right up against me.
There were a few students scattered around us on their way to school. Someone might see us. Yet, Hoshimiya kept her eyes fixed on me.
“Just this once.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then I’ll wait until lunch break.”
“So you haven’t given up after all.”
“Yeah. Because I want to hear it from Seita’s own mouth.”
Hoshimiya smiled as she said that, looking just a little calmer than she had last night.
Maybe my answer put her at ease.
Thinking that, my chest felt a little warm.
At the same time, the word “responsibility” crossed my mind.
I can no longer brush off Hoshimiya’s words as just a heavy joke.
I have to pay back, little by little, what I’ve received.
Even if I’m clumsy at it.
On the way to the school gate, Hoshimiya suddenly said,
“Seita, do you remember the last story in yesterday’s anthology?”
“The one about how being next to someone makes you feel calm?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember it.”
“I feel calm when I’m next to you, Seita.”
Hoshimiya said quietly, still facing forward.
“But it’s a little scary.”
“Scary?”
“Because I feel so calm that I might not be able to go back to any other place.”
The morning air grew a little quieter.
It felt heavy.
But I didn’t run away from that weight.
“…Even if you can’t go back, please come to school.”
“That’s what you’re worried about?”
“Attendance is important, after all.”
Hoshimiya laughed.
It was a laugh tinged with a hint of tears.
“Seita, you’re surprisingly practical in the strangest ways.”
“Getting too swept up in romance comedies could kill you.”
“But I want to swallow Seita whole.”
“That’s a dangerous thing to say.”
We passed through the school gates while having that conversation.
All eyes were on us again today.
But I didn’t mind it quite as much as I did yesterday.
Hoshimiya is right beside me.
She wants it this way.
And I don’t completely mind it either.
Just knowing that made me feel like I could look forward a little bit.
Maigetsu