Episode 54 – Foreign object contamination


The Tale of Gerald Vader, the Heretic Knightโ€™s Rampage Through Another World


Once all the lectures for the first day were over, Nora, Twina, and I met up and headed to the cafeteria.

There are several cafeterias on campus, but this time we went to the one near the dorms.

We found a table at the back of the dining hall, then went to the counter to order our food.

I ordered the herb-roasted chicken platter, and Twina ordered the hamburger steak platter, which has recently become her favorite.

And Nora ordered mushroom soup pasta.

โ€œNora, wonโ€™t that be too little for you?โ€

โ€œHeheโ€ฆ Unlike you gentlemen, this is just the right amount for a lady.โ€

She said that with a smile, but for some reason, I sensed an undeniable pressure in that smile.

This was definitely not the kind of situation where I should say something like, โ€œYou really should eat more.โ€

ใ€€โ—‡

โ€œGerald, listen to me~โ€

Once everyoneโ€™s food was ready and weโ€™d sat down at the table, Twina brought it up with a weary look on her face.

Lately, the guardian deity of our household seems to have mistaken me for some kind of blue tanuki that grants any wish.

Unfortunately, my pants pockets are empty except for a few lint balls.

I mean, technically, youโ€™re the one whoโ€™s supposed to be the blue tanuki, right?

Anyway, moving on.

โ€œSounds like your first day of classes was rough.โ€

I cut into the perfectly roasted chicken thigh with my fork and knife, bringing a piece to my mouth as I encouraged her to continue.

I canโ€™t pull the item she wants out of my pocket, but I can at least listen to her vent.

Twina deftly pushes aside the green beans garnishing her hamburger steak plate as she continues her story.

โ€œIt was really tough. For some reason, human girls swarm around me whenever they spot me. Because of that, I ended up having to run away every time class ended.โ€

โ€œAhโ€ฆโ€

Seeing Twina, whose eyes seem to have lost their sparkle and whose hair is a mess, I feel a little sympathy for her.

After homeroom, we had our regular classes.

Since some of them were combined with the upperclassmen, I knew full well how hard it was for Twina.

During break time, sheโ€™d get swarmed by girls and jostled around.

Whenever she spotted us, sheโ€™d shake them off and come running to us for help, but it was like that every single time class ended.

To be honest, Twina is popular with the girls.

Sheโ€™s incredibly popular with the girls.

Well, I can understand why.

When sheโ€™s quiet, sheโ€™s the picture of a perfect, flawless beauty.

Silk-like silver hair, cool and refined features, and a slender figure.

Sheโ€™s practically a goddess.

Well, she is the goddess of our household, after allโ€ฆ Regardless of whatโ€™s inside, thereโ€™s no doubt she exudes that god-like aura.

That said, a god is only worth something if sheโ€™s worshipped.

I suppose thereโ€™s nothing to be done about that.

For now, Iโ€™ll refrain from pondering whether being cuddled counts as worship.

As an aside, compared to the girls who shower her with relentless cuddles, the boys are somewhat more restrained.

Theyโ€™re probably intimidated by Twinaโ€™s godlike beauty.

โ€œAnyway, if I show any weakness when you or Nora arenโ€™t around, the girls will pounce on me. Iโ€™ve got to do something about this.โ€

Twinaโ€™s expression was utterly serious.

This time, she pushed aside the glazed carrots on her plate and let out a deep, heavy sigh.

But I couldnโ€™t think of a solution.

โ€œThereโ€™s nothing we can do. Just give up.โ€

โ€œUghโ€ฆโ€

โ€œExcuse me, Lady Twina, itโ€™s fine to vent, but taking advantage of the chaos to leave your carrots uneaten isnโ€™t very impressive, is it?โ€

At that, Nora finally called out Twina for her picky eating habits.

Sheโ€™s surprisingly strict about leaving food on your plate.

The Lebron family owns several farms in their territory, so thatโ€™s probably why.

As a noble, sheโ€™s strict with those who disparage (?) the local produce of her subjects.

โ€œHmphโ€ฆ Noraโ€™s just as strict as ever. Gerald, you hop around like a rabbit, so you must love carrots, right? Iโ€™ll give you all of them.โ€

But Twina was no slouch either; she spared no effort to avoid eating foods she disliked.

In other words, she used lightning-fast reflexes to dunk a carrot right onto my chicken steak plate.

But Iโ€™m confident in my hand-eye coordination, too.

I blocked her carrot with my forkโ€”clack!!โ€”then snatched it away and shoved it into Twainaโ€™s mouth with the same fork.

โ€œGulp!โ€

โ€œYou left yourself open! Donโ€™t be a picky eater.โ€

Hahaha! Youโ€™re a hundred years too early to think you can beat me at forkwork!

Twina, with the carrot shoved into her mouth, rolled her eyes, butโ€”perhaps because she was scared of Noraโ€™s narrowed eyesโ€”she didnโ€™t dare spit it out.

โ€œUghโ€ฆ itโ€™s sickly sweet and earthyโ€ฆโ€

โ€œOh my! This cafeteriaโ€™s glazed carrots are top-notch, you know.โ€

โ€œRight! Nora, weโ€™re on the same page.โ€

Nora and I nod to each other.

Twina is eating with a face that looks like sheโ€™s about to cry, but the cafeteriaโ€™s glazed carrots really are top-notch.

Of course, thereโ€™s some on my plate too. I absolutely love these.

Carefully trimmed and simmered in butter and sugar, the glazed carrots gleam with a glossy sheen, looking just like orange jewels.

Once you pop one of these into your mouth, the rich aroma of butter and gentle sweetness fill your mouth; with just a light bite, the flesh crumbles away, and the savory flavor of the carrot bursts out from within.

What on earth is there to dislike about this โ€œedible gemโ€?

I just donโ€™t get it.

Wellโ€ฆ kids tend to hate carrots, after all.

And Twina hasnโ€™t even been on the surface for five years yet.

In short, sheโ€™s still got a childโ€™s palate.

โ€œWell, once you grow up, youโ€™ll understand just how delicious this is.โ€

โ€œWhat!? Iโ€™m way older than you!โ€

โ€œHmm, compared to the meager fare at the church, the food here is all quite delicious, isnโ€™t it?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not about how long youโ€™ve been alive. Itโ€™s about your mental age.โ€

โ€œHmm, hmm. Growing children should eat plenty of everything, shouldnโ€™t they?โ€

โ€œmy palate is childishโ€ฆ Gerald, who is this child?โ€

With that, Twina looked over at my side with a puzzled expression.

Iโ€™d noticed something red flickering at the edge of my vision for a while now.

Before I knew it, a little girl stuffing her face with spaghetti Bolognese had taken up a spot at the corner of the table.

I only know one classmate whoโ€™s a little girl around ten years old with long red hair tied back and a mean look in her eyes.

Which meansโ€ฆ

โ€œUgh, Eliza Lindewโ€ฆ!?โ€

โ€œSaying โ€˜Ughโ€™ to a classmate isnโ€™t exactly a proper greeting, is it?โ€

Hearing the cry of my soul escape my lips, Eliza glared at me with a cold stare.

Thatโ€™s right.

The one who, for some reason, had taken over a corner of our table wasโ€ฆ

Eliza Lindewโ€”the โ€œLittle Girl of the Yearโ€ Iโ€™d least want to be friends with in this worldโ€”also known as the โ€œBishop of Slaughterโ€ herself.


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