The Love of My Childhood Friend, Who Has Overcome a Terminally Ill Diagnosis, Is Overwhelming
Takagaki didn’t answer Kanade’s question right away.
…However, after hearing Kanade’s words, Takagaki began to feel a slight sense of unease about the story she had told regarding her brother’s accident.
Takagaki had just said that her brother had been in a traffic accident while walking along a narrow road during a torrential downpour that had severely limited visibility.
……That is, if I think about it calmly.
“……Takagaki san, was your brother out walking in the middle of a torrential downpour?”
The torrential downpour in question happened on a Sunday.
The time of day was, if I recall correctly……around dinnertime.
Judging by the photo she showed me, Takagaki’s brother was still in the lower grades of elementary school.
If that’s the case, it feels odd that he would be out walking alone… and on top of that, I can’t help but feel uneasy that he left the house at all under conditions severe enough to flood the roads.
…Then why did Takagaki’s brother go outside without regard for the danger?
And why didn’t Takagaki stop her brother from taking such a risk?
“…What’s wrong with you?”
Takagaki gave a dry laugh.
“…We had a fight.”
The answer I’d been waiting for, spoken by Takagaki, was actually quite simple.
“…My parents both work, so I’ve been the one looking after my brother to some extent. But he’s gotten more and more sassy and selfish over the years, and I just kept thinking, ‘What’s with him?’”
…To be honest, I thought Takagaki-san’s story about her sibling relationship was the kind of thing you hear all the time.
“…That day, he… even though school started the next day, he hadn’t done his homework.”
So that’s what it was.
“He looked at me with teary eyes, asking, ‘Big sis, can you help me?’ but I refused. Of course I did. It was his homework. Homework doesn’t mean anything unless you do it yourself.”
……And then.
“And then it turned into an argument… and I ended up saying some really hurtful things to him.”
Takagaki’s face twisted in obvious pain, as if she were reliving the scene from back then.
“I just blurted out, ‘You’re always relying on others—you’re not my brother anymore!’”
After a moment of silence, Takagaki gave another wry smile.
“You can probably guess what happened next, right? He got angry, went outside in the pouring rain, and got hit by a car. To put it bluntly, it’s my fault he got hurt.”
“……Takagaki-san.”
“Once that happened…… I naturally wanted to make him happy. As a way of apologizing, too. That’s why I visited the hospital so often, and why I went out of my way to get that photo of the airplane he said he wanted to see. To atone for my sins, I wanted to make him happy, even just a little.”
“……”
“……It really must be tough for him to have such a useless older sister.”
……Silence once again filled the coffee shop.
No one could say a word in response to Takagaki’s account of her younger brother’s accident.
……No, that’s not it.
At least, that’s not how I feel.
Because I… am not very good at reading the room.
My communication skills aren’t good enough to consider how others are feeling.
But if you ask why I’m staying silent… it’s simply because I can’t put what I want to say into words right now. That’s all.
……It’s hard to convey what I want to say.
But it’s true…… I do have something I want to say right now.
There’s something I want to tell Takagaki-san……!
“……Actually, it might be your fault, Takagaki-san.”
“……Ah, A-kun?”
“Your careless words hurt your younger brother, and as a result…… they led to his accident.”
Kanade looked at me anxiously.
“The details of the accident were the driver’s fault. Given that it was a hit-and-run, there’s no doubt about that. It’s undeniable that your brother was irresponsible, which is partly why you carelessly made him angry. But you can’t deny that your words were the trigger that led to his accident.”
No, Kanade might be glaring at me right now. Her gaze hurts.
“…So, if I were in your shoes, I think I would have acted the same way.”
“…Hagiwara-kun.”
“Actually… there was a time when I couldn’t do anything for someone dear to me who was suffering from an illness.”
…Memories I never wanted to recall resurfaced.
“Back then, all I could do was encourage her, comfort her, and empathize with her.”
It was a dreadful memory.
“……I couldn’t save her.”
It was truly so loathsome, so hateful, I couldn’t stand it.
“So……if I couldn’t save her, it was my fault. I was constantly driven by that obsession. I cursed my own helplessness.”
“Akkun. That’s……”
“……But because of that experience, I was able to set a goal for myself: I never want to be tormented by that kind of helplessness again! …!”
“……”
“Takagaki-san. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes they’re irreversible, and you regret them. It’s only natural to feel guilty because of that regret. …But I don’t think it’s right to let a single failure change the person you want to become.”
“……The person I want to be?”
“What kind of person did you want to be for your little brother?”
“……Well…”
Takagaki-san……stared blankly into the distance for a while.
It looked as if she were reminiscing about past memories with her little brother……or perhaps reflecting on her attitude toward him, or maybe just thinking about how to respond to what I’d said.
“I…”
Takagaki swallowed hard.
“I wanted to be the kind of older sister who could serve as a role model for him.”
“I think that’s wonderful.”
To cherish someone.
Even if it means hardening your heart at times. Even if it means risking being disliked by them.
…To keep setting the right example.
Not everyone can do that.
I couldn’t help but think it was a wonderful way of thinking.
“…Haa.”
Takagaki let out a sigh.
“I’m such a terrible older sister. I’m just…”
“That’s not true.”
I shook my head.
“……In the end, even family members are just strangers, aren’t they?”
“That’s a bit cold, coming out of nowhere.”
“But going out of your way for someone like that isn’t something just anyone can do. You’re amazing, Takagaki-san.”
……I looked down.
“……So, you can’t change it. That goal.”
Takagaki-san looked up.
“It’s true that you made a mistake with your brother this time. But you shouldn’t change your attitude toward him because of that.”
“……”
“Of course, I think you should comfort your brother while he’s feeling down. But I don’t think you should completely reverse the attitude you’ve had up until now.”
“……That’s…”
“……Above all, if his older sister were to change her attitude because of the accident, I think he’d be the one who’d be most shocked.”
So, for his sake… and for the sake of my own goals, I told Takagaki that.
Takagaki… seemed to be hesitating at my words.
“…Haha, I never thought I’d end up getting a lecture from you, Hagiwara-kun.”
After a moment, Takagaki smiled as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Maiasa