The Love of My Childhood Friend, Who Has Overcome a Terminally Ill Diagnosis, Is Overwhelming
Wow, Kanade really made a pretty sharp observation there.
As for just how sharp it was… well, it was so sharp that even a smart guy like me couldn’t help but mutter, “You’re right.”
“…This is a problem.”
But if I couldn’t just look at Kanade’s stomach without her permission, that was a bit of a problem.
After all, given the current situation where Kanade is refusing to show me her stomach, I have no idea how else I’m supposed to see it other than just looking without asking.
“…Kanade. Is there absolutely no way you’ll show me your stomach?”
“No.”
“Absolutely not?”
“No.”
“No matter what?”
“No way!”
Kana… if I looked closely, her face was bright red.
Her voice was starting to get heated as she protested.
“W-well, if I think about it calmly… it’s too embarrassing to show my stomach to Akkun. I can’t do it.”
Kana was muttering something, but her voice was too soft for me to make out.
“…Hmm. I guess not.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“…Kanade. What if I said I’d give you money if you showed me your stomach? Would that work?”
“Akkun, don’t ever—not even as a joke—say something like that again.”
Kanade’s voice, which had been light and playful just a moment ago, dropped in tone.
“You absolutely must never buy someone’s body with money. That’s unthinkable. Even for you, Akkun, it’s unthinkable.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Faced with Kanade’s serious tone, all I could do was apologize.
It was all because of my spur-of-the-moment suggestion… but an eerie atmosphere hung over the living room.
Usually, I feel right at home in a quiet space alone with Kanade, but today I desperately wanted to escape from there.
“……Akkun…”
As if to break the tension, Kanade spoke up.
“Why did you even think you wanted to see my stomach?”
“…Why, you ask?”
“That, too. To the point where you’d forcefully pull someone’s clothes aside to look.”
“…Well…”
I hung my head.
“…In life, there are good things and bad things, aren’t there?”
I thought for a moment, then began to speak quietly.
“For example, if you interviewed people on the street and asked, ‘Is there anyone you’d like to be like?’ the people you interviewed would probably answer by naming someone they’d like to be and explaining why they want to be like that person, right?”
“So?”
“…And when it comes to the question of why they want to be like that person, I think the answer is usually that they envy that person’s successes.”
“Well, I suppose so.”
“But… I think that’s wrong. I do, anyway.”
Kanade looked at me as if to say, “What on earth is this guy talking about all of a sudden?”
“I mean, a person’s life isn’t woven together solely from successes, is it?”
“……”
“Most people’s lives have just as many failures as they do successes. And I think people who’ve had those kinds of spectacular successes that everyone admires usually have just as many—or even more—heartbreaking failures.”
“…Maybe you’re right.”
“…So, to look only at the successes of someone you admire and say you want to be like them… I think that’s a terribly dishonest way to think about that person. That’s how I feel.”
Kanade looked at me in silence.
“……You don’t know 100 percent of that person’s life. Without knowing the painful failures—the kind that make their successes pale in comparison, the kind they’d never speak of themselves—to say you want to be like them… I can’t help but think it’s just like a beggar who wants to scoop up only the sweetest bits of a successful person’s life.”
“……”
“That’s why… I want to know everything about the life of someone special.”
I gazed at Kanade.
“What has happened in your life so far? Everything. I want to know it all…”
…That is my wish—to continue having a special relationship with someone who is like family to me.
“…That’s why I want to see your stomach. I want to see the scar on your stomach.”
For a moment, Kanade looked away from me.
“I want to know everything that happened to you while we were apart.”
But I kept staring at Kanade.
“I want to understand the suffering you’ve endured, and share with you just how amazing it is that your life was woven together.”
I kept… staring at Kanade.
“…I want to know you better, Kanade.”
…Perhaps my words had stirred her heart, because Kanade looked up at me.
“…But if you see this, Akkun will surely feel bad.”
“…”
“…”
“…………”
“…………”
“……I might.”
“S-say you won’t!”
“I can’t.”
I…… looked down.
“Because that’s…… proof that I couldn’t do anything for you.”
In the end, I’ve been unable to do anything for Kanade—back then, and even now.
Seeing the scar on Kanade’s stomach is proof of my helplessness. There’s no way I wouldn’t feel pain seeing it.
“……Whenever I realize just how powerless I am, it’s always painful, sad, and hard to bear.”
“……”
“But…… I think it’s precisely because I’ve experienced failures like this that I’ll be able to grow even stronger.”
“……”
“……I believe that this time, I’ll finally become the kind of person who can save you.”
“……Akkun.”
“Kanade……”
I looked up.
“So. So, Kanade. Show me the scar on your stomach.”
Kanade… stared at me with glassy eyes.
“Show me your life. Will you… let me carry the weight of your life?”
At my words…
“Yes…”
Kanade replied with a sigh.
Maiasa