The Love of My Childhood Friend, Who Has Overcome a Terminally Ill Diagnosis, Is Overwhelming
After letting out a sigh, Kanade blushed, looked up at me with downcast eyes, and began to fidget.
The way she was acting right now, right in front of me… it gave off the kind of bashful vibe someone might show to a romantic partner of the opposite sex.
Was Kanade feeling embarrassed around me right now?
…For a moment, I felt as if a hint of that same embarrassment had spread from her to me.
It suddenly occurred to me.
The thing I just said to Kanade… that request for her to bare her skin in front of a member of the opposite sex her age.
Maybe… wasn’t that a bit of a perverted thing to say?
…
…………
That can’t be right, can it?
After all, even though we’re of the opposite s*x, we’re longtime friends. More than that, she’s someone special.
Yeah, we’re practically family.
There’s nothing strange about seeing a family member naked.
After all, even my own mom—no matter how much I tell her to stop—wanders around the living room in her underwear after a shower on sweltering summer nights.
……That really is unsightly, so I wish she’d stop.
No, please, give me a break.
“……Akkun. Akkun.”
“Kanade, what?”
“Akkun, right now… while someone’s trying to show you their stomach even though it’s embarrassing, are you thinking about some other girl?”
There was no light in Kanade’s eyes.
“…Kanade”
I bit my lower lip.
“Stop it, stop saying weird things…!”
“…Huh?”
“…Ah. I just remembered something unpleasant. I just remembered something unpleasant.”
“…Ah, Akkun?”
“…Kanade. Can you show me your stomach already?”
“…!”
To counteract the memory of my own mother’s embarrassing appearance… there’s no other way but to look at Kanade’s stomach.
…Did I just blurt out something weird?
Ahaha.
No way.
I mean, I’m smart.
I’m number one in my class.
“……Ah, A-kun…”
“What?”
“……I’m sorry, A-kun.”
Kanade looked down, looking apologetic.
“After all…… is there any way we can skip showing you my stomach?”
Kanade’s voice was…… more timid than ever.
“Why?”
“……”
“……Kanade?”
“I’m scared after all. …Of the possibility that you might not accept me.”
……Kanade’s voice was desperate.
I don’t know why she’s so terrified that I won’t accept her surgical scar, but judging by the tone of her voice, it wasn’t hard to imagine—even without seeing it—that the mark etched on her stomach must be a painful sight.
“…I’m sure that if you see this, you’ll change the way you treat me.”
“That won’t happen.”
“No. You definitely will.”
“That won’t happen.”
“…Even if it doesn’t, the possibility isn’t zero.”
…Is the scar really that painful to look at?
“Taking action when the probability isn’t zero… it’s still scary.”
“That might be true.”
I nodded.
“……But there isn’t a single action where the probability isn’t zero.”
I said gently, as if trying to reason with her.
“Every action comes with the possibility of failure. And those actions that carry the risk of failure… are all things we’ll inevitably have to face someday. Even if you run away, someday, surely……”
…That day I found out Kanade was alive.
Precisely because I’d seen her in such a weakened state, I couldn’t hide my surprise that she was still alive.
Of course, I’d wished from the bottom of my heart that she was alive.
If I hadn’t, the ridiculous idea of studying abroad in France on my own after high school graduation just to look for her would never have crossed my mind.
…But I’d thought the chances of her not being alive were higher.
I thought I understood just how cruel reality could be—precisely because I knew what Kanade looked like back then.
Still, when I learned that she had managed to cling to life despite all that, a thought lingered in the back of my mind.
What kind of price had she paid to stay alive?
How much pain had she endured just to keep her life going?
I’d tried not to think about it too deeply.
The more I thought about it… the more I felt she’d realize I harbored feelings of guilt toward her.
Just now, I lectured Kanade on the mistake of running away from a confrontation…
But perhaps the reason I’m causing her sorrow now is the consequence of not having thought deeply enough, back when we first reunited, about the price she paid to stay alive.
People are creatures who tend to run away from things they don’t like.
…No matter how much you discipline yourself.
No matter how much you convince yourself you’re a strong person.
Deep down, people run away.
“…I get it. I get it, Kanade.”
That said, it felt wrong to push her any further.
“……I’m sorry, A-kun.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m the one who’s sorry for pushing you so hard.”
I shook my head.
“I feel bad about pushing you too much, so I’m just going to lift up your shirt and take a look at your stomach on my own.”
And then I… smiled gently to ease her guilt.
“……Huh?”
Kanade smiled back for a moment…
“Huh? Hmmmm???”
Her eyes widened.
“Well then, I’ll be going now, Kanade.”
“W-w-wait a second!”
Kanade grabbed the hem of her T-shirt she was wearing and squeezed my hand tightly.
“Aaaa-kun! Aaaa-kun! What are you trying to do!?”
“What do you mean…? I’m just trying to sneak a peek at your stomach, aren’t I?”
“If you’re saying that to me, then you’re not exactly ‘sneaking a peek,’ are you!?”
……
…………
“You’re right.”
Maiasa