Episode 55 – Fear and Love

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The School’s Top Idol Is Acting Like She’s My Childhood Friend for Some Reason and Just Keeps Closing the Distance on Her Own…?! ~Stop Getting All Gloomy on Me Just Because I Turned You Down!~

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Twelve days left until the cultural festival.

Posters promoting the event were put up around the school.

When I walked into the entrance hall this morning, I noticed them before I even had a chance to change my shoes.

The reason was simple.

Too many students had gathered in front of the bulletin board.

“Hoshimiya-san, you’re so cute!”

“This is the first-years’ café, right?”

“Who’s that guy next to her?”

“Apparently, he’s on the organizing committee with her.”

Just from the voices I could hear, I could tell what was going on.

I didn’t want to see it.

But since I was in the picture, I had no choice but to check it out.

I peered at the bulletin board through the gaps between the people.

A colorful poster introducing the cultural festival’s attractions. Near the center was a promotional photo for “Café Twilight.”

Rino and I, both wearing the same black aprons.

With our shoulders touching, we’re holding the finished sign together.

Rino is smiling gently at the camera, and I, standing next to her, am smiling more naturally than I realized.

It wasn’t a bad photo.

In fact, as a cultural festival advertisement, it was quite well done.

The problem was that I looked as though I belonged right there next to Rino Hoshimiya, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Aren’t those two standing a little too close?”

“Aren’t they childhood friends?”

“But there are rumors they’re holding hands.”

“Could they actually be dating?”

My heart sank.

A chill ran down my spine.

No one was accusing me directly.

Still, their voices kept overlapping with memories from the past on their own.

“Why is he there?”

“Aren’t you just misunderstanding?”

“Could you please stay away from her?”

I took half a step back.

I wanted to get away from here.

I wished they’d take the photo down.

I shouldn’t have stood next to Rino.

That thought suddenly fills my chest.

“Seita.”

Someone called my name from behind.

When I turned around, Rino was standing there.

The moment she saw my face, her expression changed.

“Are you scared?”

“…A little.”

In the past, I would have said I was fine.

But this time, I didn’t try to hide it.

Rino stepped up beside me and looked at the bulletin board.

The students around us noticed us and gradually made way. All eyes turned toward us at once.

After staring at the photo, Rino gave a small smile.

“Seita, you look great.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I like it.”

“That’s exactly why it’s a problem right now.”

“Why?”

“Everyone’s watching me standing next to you, Rino.”

“Yeah.”

“They might say something.”

“They already are.”

Rino remained calm, even as she listened to the murmurings around us.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Being in a photo with Seita?”

“Weird rumors spreading because of me.”

Rino looked at me.

There was no hesitation in her eyes.

“It’s not your fault, Seita.”

“But—”

“I wanted to be photographed next to you. I walked holding your hand because that’s what I wanted to do.”

Rino took another step closer.

The sleeves of our uniforms brushed against each other.

“Don’t make it sound like it’s all your fault.”

“I’m not saying he’s at fault.”

“You are. You’re looking at me like it would’ve been different if I hadn’t been there.”

It stung.

Rino hates it more when I blame myself and try to disappear than when I run away.

“I actually like that photo.”

“You might, Rino, but what about everyone else?”

“What about Seita?”

Rino cut me off.

“Does Seita hate that photo?”

I turned my gaze back to the bulletin board.

There I was, standing next to Rino.

I was nervous.

I was scared.

Still, after looking at Rino, I managed a small smile.

It was proof that the two of us had worked together to prepare for the cultural festival.

A record of me standing by Rino’s side instead of running away.

“……I don’t hate it.”

“Then don’t take it down.”

Rino’s fingertips brushed against the back of my hand.

There were lots of people around us.

I didn’t take her hand right away.

She was just waiting for me to make a move.

I took a single deep breath.

I was afraid of the stares.

I was afraid of the rumors.

I was afraid of being questioned about whether I deserved to be standing next to Rino.

Even so, I didn’t want to be the one to leave that empty spot in the photo.

I took Rino’s hand.

I didn’t grip it tightly.

But I didn’t hide it either.

The murmur of the crowd grew louder.

“Seita.”

“Just until we get to the classroom, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And don’t run.”

“I won’t run unless Seita lets go.”

“Don’t blame it on me.”

Rino smiled happily.

Still holding hands, we walked away from the bulletin board.

I could feel stares piercing my back.

Even so, I didn’t stop walking.

As soon as we entered the classroom, Hara spotted us right away.

“Good morning… wait, you two are holding hands first thing in the morning!”

“You’re so loud.”

“Did you see the poster!? It’s getting rave reviews!”

“It’s the content of those reviews that scares me.”

“People from our class are definitely going to come!”

Hara was thinking about nothing but sales.

Shinozaki, looking sleepy as she propped her chin on her hand at her desk, looked at our hands.

“The publicity’s perfect, isn’t it?”

“Is this actually promoting the café?”

“Looks like a lot of people will come just to see the two of you.”

“That’s not the café’s purpose, is it?”

Just as I tried to pull my hand away, Rino’s fingers wrapped tightly around mine.

“Rino.”

“Just until we get to the classroom.”

“We’re already here.”

“Until we get to our seats.”

“Don’t add more conditions.”

In the end, we stayed holding hands all the way to the side of my seat.

Rino finally let go and sat down at her own seat.

Even so, she kept looking at me with a hint of anxiety.

“Seita, are you staying after school today?”

“Yeah, I am. We’ve got customer service practice, right?”

“Aren’t you going to leave early?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Will you stay by my side?”

“It depends on my role, doesn’t it?”

The moment I answered, Rino’s expression clouded over slightly.

I let out a small sigh.

“We’ll be together during breaks.”

When I added that, her smile returned immediately.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Rino held out her pinky finger from under the desk.

I hooked my little finger around hers.

Ever since preparations for the cultural festival began, we’ve been making more and more promises.

In photos, we’ll stand next to each other.

If I get scared, I’ll tell you.

On the day of the cultural festival, we’ll take breaks together.

Even after it’s over, we’ll go home together.

Even though our relationship is still vague, our plans for the future just keep getting set one after another.

　※　※　※

After school, the customer service team held a practice session.

We arranged the desks in their actual layout, split into customer and staff roles, and went over the process from taking orders to processing payments.

Rino was wearing a white frilled apron.

I was supposed to be in charge of the cash register, but anticipating a staff shortage on the day of the festival, I ended up practicing customer service as well.

“Welcome. Is it just the two of you?”

I showed Hara and Shinozaki to their seats.

Hara crossed her arms and nodded with a strangely haughty expression.

“Give us the prime seats by the window.”

“There are no prime seats in a classroom.”

“The server argued with the customer.”

“It’s just practice, right?”

“Seita, smile.”

Rino whispered a reminder from beside me.

“This is good enough, right?”

“You’re not smiling at all.”

“I don’t have a fake smile for customers.”

“Look at me.”

Here we go again.

I look at Rino.

She’s holding her tray close to her chest and smiling gently.

Influenced by her, the corners of my mouth turned up just a little.

“That.”

“What?”

“Serve customers with that expression.”

“I can’t do that.”

“I don’t want to show other people the face I show you, but since it’s the cultural festival, I’ll put up with it.”

“Don’t give me such a complicated permission.”

As she said this, Rino really did look a little dissatisfied.

“Takahara-kun, can I order?”

Hara raises her hand.

“One ‘Youth Cream Soda,’ please.”

“We haven’t added that to the menu yet.”

“With a ‘Lover’s Straw’ for Rino.”

“There’s no such option.”

“Then, a ‘Takahara-kun Feeds You’ special.”

“I’ll ban you from the shop.”

Shinozaki, still looking sleepy, pointed at the menu.

“I’ll have the Pure Love Black Tea—”

“It’s just regular black tea.”

“The kind brewed with love by Takahara-kun and Rino?”

“It only contains hot water and tea leaves.”

“Seita, what about love?”

For some reason, even Rino joined the conversation.

“Don’t mix personal feelings with work.”

“Just put some in mine.”

“You’re going to drink it yourself?”

The customer service practice went on longer than planned.

Half the reason was Hara and Shinozaki’s pranks, but the other half was because everyone around us found the back-and-forth between Rino and me amusing.

Even so, I didn’t feel like running away like I used to.

They’re laughing at me.

But they aren’t rejecting me.

I was gradually beginning to understand that difference with my whole being.

By the time practice ended, it had grown dark outside.

Once my classmates finished cleaning up, they left one by one.

“You two, make sure to lock up!”

Hara waved and left the classroom with Shinozaki.

The door closed.

Only Rino and I were left in the now-silent classroom.

“It’s just the two of us again.”

As I said that, Rino set down the dishcloth she was holding.

“Seita.”

“What?”

“Were you scared today?”

She must be referring to this morning.

I thought for a moment, then nodded.

“I was scared.”

“Are you still scared?”

“A little.”

“Want to hold hands?”

Rino held out her right hand.

I looked at her hand.

But I didn’t take it right away.

Instead, I took a step closer.

Rino’s eyes widened slightly.

“Seita?”

“If you hadn’t been there this morning, Rino, I probably would’ve run away.”

“Yeah.”

“I wanted to erase myself from the photo.”

“…Yeah.”

“But since you told me you wanted to stand by my side, I was able to stay.”

Rino’s eyes welled up.

I took the hand she offered and pulled her toward me.

Rino’s body drew closer.

Just before she touched my chest, I wrapped both arms around her back.

I pulled her close to me.

Rino’s body stiffened.

“Seita…?”

“Today, I’ll make the first move.”

As I said that, Rino’s arms slowly wrapped around my back.

“Is that okay?”

“It’s because having you here saved me.”

“As a thank-you?”

“It’s not just that.”

“Then what?”

She asked me right by my ear.

I hesitated to answer.

Because I was lonely.

Because I wanted to touch you.

Because I wanted to make sure you were right here beside me.

They all felt like the right answer.

“I wanted to hold you.”

In the end, those were the words that came out most naturally.

Rino’s body shook violently.

The arms wrapped around my back tightened.

“Seita, I can’t handle that.”

“What?”

“It makes me too happy.”

“Don’t cry.”

“You’re the one making me cry, Seita.”

Rino buried her face in my chest.

I pressed my cheek against her hair.

In the classroom stood the finished sign.

Piles of decorations.

Tables and chairs set up for the day of the cultural festival.

Until just a short while ago, this had been a scene of youth I’d never been a part of.

Now I was standing right in the middle of it, holding Rino close.

“Seita.”

“What?”

“Do that again—put your forehead against mine.”

My body stiffened slightly.

Rino added immediately.

“It’s okay if you can’t.”

She tried to pull her arms away from my back.

Like to stop her from moving, I tightened my grip around her.

“Don’t let go.”

My voice came out lower than I expected.

Rino looked up.

Our gazes met at close range.

“Seita?”

“I don’t want you to let go right now.”

Rino didn’t say anything.

She just looked at me, tears welling in her eyes.

I gently brushed the bangs hanging over her forehead to the side with my fingertips.

I moved my face closer to hers, more slowly than last time.

Rino closed her eyes.

I touched my lips to her forehead.

Once.

I pulled back slightly, then once more.

This time, a little longer.

Rino’s fingers gripped my uniform tightly.

When I pulled my lips away, she pressed her hand to her forehead.

“Twice.”

“I figured once wouldn’t be enough.”

“Twice from Seita.”

“Don’t count them.”

“I’ll remember every single one.”

Rino laughed through her tears.

Looking at her face, I felt a warmth deep in my chest that was almost painful.

“Seita.”

“What?”

“Am I starting to fall for you?”

She’d asked me that before.

Back then, I’d answered that I was starting to.

Now, I’ve gone even further.

Even so, I’m still scared.

So I didn’t answer right away.

Instead, I placed my hand on Rino’s cheek.

She rested her cheek against my hand.

“More than yesterday.”

“Do you like me?”

“……More than yesterday.”

Rino’s eyes flickered.

“What about tomorrow?”

“Maybe even more.”

“What about the day of the cultural festival?”

“If my heart holds out until then, that is.”

Rino laughed and hugged me tightly against my chest again.

“I’ll make sure it does.”

“How?”

“I’ll take good care of it.”

“You’re the one breaking it, aren’t you, Rino?”

“If it breaks, I’ll give you half of mine.”

“You can’t split a heart.”

“Then I’ll keep it attached to mine forever.”

“That’ll break it even more.”

Even as I said that, I didn’t let Rino go.

Twelve days left until the cultural festival.

On the posters around school, there’s a picture of me smiling next to Rino.

And in the empty classroom, much closer than in that photo, we were feeling each other’s body heat.

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Maigetsu

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